SomaCow

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Ma Bell. For all your “Timmy down the well” style communication, you really cannot get better than Em Bar Que.

In this hour, we discussed my struggle to stay home while the best damn movies get released, we take a call from Friend of the Show Chrispy, and Mickey gives some Life Couching. Coaching? Same thing!

It’s been no easy feat, I have to admit. The joy of seeing a life I helped bring into the world grow before my very eyes is immense, but does come with certain drawbacks. It seems most simple things, such as going to the grocery store, now require the logic skill of your garden variety fox, chicken, feed riddle. Take a trip from my house to say, The Willow Tree in Sanford.

I cannot leave the wife at home and just take the baby, because I have no milks. I cannot send the wife with the baby and have me sit here, because I do not get to eat sausages and drink Köstritzer. I cannot leave the baby here and take the wife, because that is the sort of thing they make Lifetime TV movies about. And so I take all three at once, and we stop every, oh, five minutes along the way to “refill” the baby with nourishing milks from boob. Otherwise, I would be the guy that drives around listening to a kid cry, and that’s just gay!

So I opt for the home skillet most days, we have plenty to watch between the DVRs, and for the most part, life has been pretty grand. Baby smiles, dogs like the baby, baby likes the ceiling fan, and everything is straight jack pudding, yeah?

Then Hollywood released the bomb. Back to back to back, Journey to the Center of the Earth, Ironman, The Incredible Hulk 2, The Mummy III, and finally, Batman.

Let me be clear. I am not a Batman dork. But I did see the Michael Keaton effort 5 times. In the theater. Twice in a row, once.

And now I come to terms with the fact that I, the most conscientious and decent citizen ever formed, will never see these films on the big screen, because I am not a big enough douche to drag my kid, who, as Chrispy so eloquently reminds me, has ZERO interest in seeing a movie (sitting in the dark muffling boob), to some movieplex just to ruin the other patron’s experience with the mewling of a child.

Do I want a medal for this? Hell no. Well, yeah. But I really want other parents to take heed of my behavior. NO ONE LIKES YOUR KID BUT YOU. Stop taking them to the movies.

Anyway, we get into some good movie talk, and discuss some characters we liked growing up, and generally just do the deed dirt cheap, all for you, in this, our finest hour.

We screened the following gems - Check ‘em out!

• Former Fat Boys - Imaginate
• April March - Chick Habit

Tags: april march, batman, cafe, comedy, dvr, embarq, Film, former fat boys, Hollywood, Hulk, incredible hulk, internet, ironman, journey to the center of the earth, kostrizer, Lou Ferrigno, Louis Leterrier, ma bell, michael keaton, mummy, orlando, Podcast, radio, sausages, somacow, talk, Television movie, tree, willow

SomaCow Media Network is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you by Too Beaucoup Massage Palrol - Check ‘em out for all your rubby nubbies.

In this episode, we discussed the show’s new mindset, which is two-pronged! We will change the world, one drop at a time against the wall of ignorance, and we will fight crime and solve mysteries! Mickey valiantly tries to get us to take the high road, and J and I have none of it, as we manage to yet again fall into bad habits.

A precursory search of the internet reveals that jobs are growing scarce, with fewer and fewer tangible listings and more and more scammery - How are things in your slice of the world? Gone are the days of the Help Wanted sign, so, if the internet has quiet classifieds, does that indicate a lack of available positions?

Listeners of SomaCow are aware that its host engages in a horrifying practice known as naked time. More should not be said of it, but at least it came back to bite me this week. When is the last time you were naked in front of a stranger that wasn’t getting ready to sleep with you? All the more reason to hire an all female yard and pool cleaning team.

We’re excited, as we wind up to episode 200 here at the network. Lots of changes and new stuff for all of our shows, and we’re really looking forward to our new roles as mystery solvers, wrong-righters, and investigative instigators. Now if we could just get some felt for the fan, so you don’t hear it go squeak through the whole show. Jesus. Maybe J can bring some when he gets back from Spook Hill.

We listened to the following great bands in between fan rotations in this hour!

• Likely Story - Loser
• Nandi - Friends With Jen

Tags: comedy, drop, fight crime, ignorance, internet, likely story, massage, me first gimme gimmes, naked time, nandi, orlando, Podcast, push monkey, radio, solve mysteries, spook hill, talk

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow brought to you by us.

We do a show here. We love the show. Many times, the show is about us, or the news, or our families, or food. Mostly, the show is about food.

But, in this hour, it was a different feel, altogether. There was a sense of progress, and solution, and chope. Mickey has something to tell you. It gets going near the :40… If you are gonna listen to this show, this would be a good place to start.

I know it helped me.

We played the following great bands in this, our finest, hour.

Nerf Herders - The BackPack Song

Another Song! - A Band Ross Hates

If you would like to be a part of the solution, and make the world a better place, put this “sticker” on your website and link back to SomaCow.

Tags: chope, comedy, family, food, internet, nerf herder, news, orlando, Podcast, progess, radio, solution, somacow, talk