SomaCow

It’s Halloween, it’s Halloween!

You didn’t get any candy, either?

Well, just listen to this episode, and we’ll call it square.

And then if you really like me, well, even if you don’t, please check out the WERA website of one of our super-fans, Sean

Auf Weenershame!

Check out these ghoulish tunes:

No More Kings – Zombie Man
Three Bad Jacks – Hell Bound Train
Hydrovibe feat. Shawnee Smith – Killer Inside (Messed Up World Remix)

I hate reality TV shows.

There, I said it.

I just don’t get them, they don’t “click” with me at all.

Why am I going to watch “The Amazing Race” when I just had more trouble getting to and from the home office in Nashville than these people have in circumnavigating the globe?

But I understand that the TV viewing public goes crazy over these shows. If I put a webcam in our laundry room, I guarantee you that people would watch, just in hopes of catching the occasional skidmark in some undies or to see whether we use liquid fabric softener or dryer sheets.

Then they would form internet forums to discuss the show, which I would probably call the “Stubborn Understains with J” show. These forums would contain sections such as “Accidental Downblouse Shots in Front of the Dryer” and “My God! What The Hell Was The Person Who Wore THOSE Drinking?!”. There would also be a betting pool on how much longer until each elastic waistband finally snaps.

Sound thrilling? No? Well, that’s exactly how thrilling “Survivor” and “Big Brother” and all those other reality shows are to me.

But, since the American public eats this drivel up, I figured that other countries must have their own reality shows, too. Of course, no other nation eats, sleeps and breathes TV like we Americans do, so their shows are probably not as successful as ours.

A little bit of research revealed the following FAILED international reality TV shows:

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East Germany’s Next Top Model: This short-lived, but highly unpopular, show stopped production when all of the models were eliminated in the first episode.

The Biggest Loser – Ethiopia: “Mbulu TkchkDk from the Red Team…you lost…FIVE OUNCES this week, taking you down to sixty eight pounds, two ounces. Way to go, Red Team!”

Moscow Big Brother: Though rumored to be highly entertaining, the tapes of this show have never been released by the government, and the participants were never heard from again.

The Bachelor – Iraq: “And the rose goes to…Woman In Burkha #3! Why her, Akbar?” “Well, she has the least amount of facial hair visible through the eye slit in her face-cover.”

Survivor Auschwitz: Ok, STOP! Not even SomaCow would touch THIS one.

It’s my birthday, it’s my birthday!

You didn’t get me anything, either?

Well, just listen to this episode, and we’ll call it square.

And then if you really like me, well, even if you don’t, please check out the WERA website of one of our super-fans, Sean

Bis dahn!

Creature Feature – Greatest Show on Earth
Kai Motta – Welcome to London
Gogol Bordella – Alcohol
Stephen Lynch – Halloween