SomaCow

 

 266: News Noose [59:11m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by our new show, Prime Time Geek – Plug in, and be enlightertained!

So, in this hour, we decided to put right a great wrong, namely, underappreciation of our Producer, Ross. The guy goes through so much to get our show out each week… And we don’t even offer him health insurance! Thrill in this hour as we discuss the horrific child abuse he suffered, resulting in this.

Ross is still recovering from his mishap, and so we dedicated a whole episode to his news stories. And don’t think we just skirt a bunch of headlines… This is extensive, deep thrusting journalism. A whole hour of all the news THEY don’t want you to know!

I spent a little time just now, watching CNN, Fox, etc. I am amazed that these channels still exist. Poorly pronounced non-facts being flubbed by overly teethy smilamatrons, lying through their eyes as they glaze over truth and push policy as press. Nasty. Not so here at SomaCow, where we mutter the truth between mouthfuls of whatever food some kind listener has so graciously graced us with.

So we chatted about Chinese Men that smoke, and Waffle Houses, and Waffles in General, and the supreme Waffle.

It was pretty sweet, all around.

If I could turn aside from the jocularity and goofiness we normally get up to, I have a real question for you, the listener. Please be honest.
Why…

Does Burger King…

Make such an awful stomach pain?

You don’t believe me? Go eat some tater tots, and get back to me. IF YOU CAN.

 

 265: Presents [1:00:33m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by crushing Christmas Debt.

In this hour, we basically relaxed, and gave each other gifts.

J will never guess what the Chinese character was. Canoe?

So, Ross suffered a terrible Christmas Mishap, J suffered a terrible Christmas Blarg, and Mickey suffered a terrible Christmas… naked guy?
Ew.

I spent some time decrying the Nestle Crunch, and feel that can be backed up with some candy bar advice. Look for it in a coming blog. Til then, enjoy this hour, and each other.

 

 264: The Day After [1:04:44m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you by Peter Billingsley.

I do not mind working on holidays.  I really don’t.  And I do not want to abuse this space to bitch about my bosses.  I joined teh SomaCow project because I believe in the project.

But let’s face it, while the gang is out at Christmas parties, having great dinners, opening presents, visiting family, some of us are shackled to the desks to put together a show.  We were locked in the production facility, and hopefully they remember to come down here and unlock the door before the live show.

Sam lost the remote, and the tv is mounted in such a way that you cannot open the little bay to get at the channel changer buttons.  So, we watched A Christmas Story.  Over and over and over.  I like the movie, but after the eigth run through, it makes my head hurt.  It is even worse that it was on TBS and they were really pushing some really bad sitcoms.

Alex was rushed because he didn’t want to be late for work, so he forgot deoderant.  He’s kind of chubby, and he sweats a lot.  Some one seems to have turned on the heat, and the thermostats are behind lock boxes.  He also ate a lot of garlic and vinegar.  His sweat is actually eating holes in his shirt.  To say that he smells “rank” would be an insult to French people.

Trish is apparently lactose intolerant.  She also didn’t realize that lasagna has dairy in it.  Whoever said that girls do not fart was lying.  The clouds from her ass trumpets are the only thing that can over power Alex’s BO.

The only coffee left is decaf.

To the fans who read the blog, thank you.  Please email Geoff and Mickey and tell them we are still down here.

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