People crack me up.
Why do they insist on using certain expressions in conversation when they don’t know how the actual expression goes?
You may remember our illustrious leader Dubya screwing up this old saying in a speech on teaching American history and civic education:
“fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”
(Video here: http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/bushvideos/youtube/bushfoolme.htm)
Being a language buff, stuff like this has driven me crazy for a long time. The first time I can remember noticing it was in school when one of my history teachers was trying to suggest that some historical military leader had absolute command over his troops, and that they gave him immediate and unquestioning compliance. The expression that she used was this:
“When he said ‘jump’, they asked ‘how high?’ ”
Now clearly you aren’t receiving immediate and unquestioning compliance if you issue an order to jump and, instead of jumping, your troops start asking questions.
My teacher had gotten the expression wrong. The correct expression is “When he said ‘jump’, they jumped, and asked ‘how high?’ on the way up.”
Now THAT is some immediate and unquestioning compliance.
Anyway, many times since then I have heard people butcher old sayings and expressions. In the past month alone, I have heard each of the expressions below used in actual conversation. See if you know what the speakers in each case meant to say: (answers at the bottom of this blog entry).
1. “You nailed it on the mark.”
2. “That guy is an asshole. I hope somebody cleans his lunch.”
3. “I don’t think he has all his marbles in a row.”
4. “Tell the bartender to cut Larry off. He’s three shades under the wind.”
5. “To me, it’s six of one or the other.”
All I ask is that people give a tiny bit of thought to what they say.
I certainly try to do this. Otherwise, that would be like a black kettle calling out the pot.
Answers:
1. “You hit the nail on the head.” (This is the most abused phrase I have ever heard.)
2. “That guy is an asshole. I hope somebody cleans his clock.”
3. Either “I think he has lost his marbles.” or “I don’t think he has all his ducks in a row.” I can’t tell which.
4. “Tell the bartender to cut Larry off. He’s three sheets to the wind.”
5. “To me, it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other.”
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Maybe they wanted the asshole guy to finish his lunch.
“Clean your plate, asshole!”
5. “To me, it’s six of one and half a dozen of the other.â€
OR
Peace pipe/ crack pipe.
Phil Leotardo from the Sopranos “Let me tell you a couple of three things”
No funny again.
When in Rome!
“Women, you can’t live with them… whore in the bedroom.”
“A bird in the hand is worth a whore in the bedroom.”
“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not consecrate — we can not hallow — this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth whore in the bedroom. ”
Maybe I don’t understand how to play this game yet.