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History is filled with crazes. In the late twenties, grown men would leave their high paying and lucrative careers to chase their dreams selling apples on the street corners. In the sixties, men eschewed the comforts of home and willfully lined up by the hundreds of thousands to get their hair cut and tour the Orient. Today, we see a new trend sweeping across the land, namely, firewood preservation. It seems people have decided that rather than cut down trees to get warm, it would be easier and more efficient to just set their damned house on fire.
I’m talking about Arson, people. Well, all of us are. How bad the housing market must be that this is what it is coming down to.
Thankfully, I do not have to worry about foreclosure on my home, because I shopped around and got what is known as an ARM. This stands for “About To Lose My Fucking House”. Share the panic with me, won’t you?
Belly Buttons – Do Not Touch. Ever. Period. Just… Quit it. Stay AWAY. Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you that you need to touch it so much?
Weekly Constitutional this week focused on Freakonomics – A solid read, and worth your time, especially now that they have revised some stuff for relevancy. GO get it, you.
And pick up this music, while you’re at it:
- This Providence – Card House Dream
- Straight Outta Junior High – Down With Anarchy
- Straight Outta Junior High – I’ll Never Be An Astronaut
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Geoff wrote:
Belly Buttons – Do Not Touch. Ever. Period. Just… Quit it. Stay AWAY. Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you that you need to touch it so much?
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You neglected to mention that Mickey’s starfish is an outtie.
Wait…was that on the show or during a break?
When you get pre-approved for a mortgage, they never take into account the fact that you have to pay for utilities, or food for that matter. I like to eat! They pre-approved us for something ridiculous like 425k or 450k, and in actuality, what we were able to afford was a house for under 200k. But we were in the right place at the right time in 2004 (closing on the house and moving in three weeks before we got married), and got instant equity, which we dumped right back into the place…windows, bathrooms, doors. And it’s big enough that we don’t need to move, because if we did, we’d probably just have to do all those remodeling jobs all over again.
But people who burn their houses down because they can’t afford their mortgages? Three words for them…Dee Dee Dee! (Please tell me you watch Mind of Mencia!) I know I sure didn’t read the pile of papers that is my mortgage, but if you burn your house down, it’s a violation of the terms, as the bank now has not more collateral, so it’s the handy-dandy wrist-warmers for you!
And if somebody trashes the house before you move in, again, it’s the fuzzy gray area. Did you do a walk-through right before closing? Was it in the terms of sale to leave the bushes, etc.? Or was it already trashed?
Belly-button play is only between me and my daughter.
um…belly buttons are scary. Sometimes they are inny’s, outies, hairy, shaved, peirced…i mean OMG they got more varieties than my va-j-j and THATs saying something…so no more belly button discussion please…it scares me…