SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by The Kingdom of Loathing, log in, create an account, and get on top of the best thing on the internet three years ago… Seriously, it’s a hootNANNY!
In brief, I’ll attempt to explain. We at SomaCow worry about people that play the World of Warcraft. Hundreds upon thousands of hours are dumped each year into a glorified, shiny, and incredibly neat sounding game of “fetch”. Proponents of WoW can argue until they are Night-Elf-faced in the face, but that really IS all that their pastime is based on. Go here, collect this, bring it there. It’s pizza delivery-level interaction, and we demand more.
More high-resolution, lifelike graphics? More ethereal, soul stirring music? Not so much.
Kingdom of Loathing takes everything that is good about the mmorpg universe, and churns out a dizzying level of depth, humor, and high adventure, all for the low monthly price of free. Seriously. Free. You pay nothing. I mean, sure, if you donate ten bucks, you get a Mr. Accessory, but that’s really just a neat side benefit, and not anything integral to the plot and advancement of the game.
You log in once a day, or every other day, or whatever. When you do, your turns will be waiting for you. You spend turns doing stuff, be it fetch, or cooking, or exploring, or fighting other players, and you can extend the base turn limit each day by eating and swilling sweet, sweet booze. Seriously, this game has more cocktails than a Mexican’s backyard. What? They chickenfight, take it up with them!
By the time you are addicted, your turns are spent, and there is very little left for you to do than go shower, and cook for your family, and read, and get some sun, and hold down a job, and all those other awesome things that you neglected wasting so much time playing WoW. Kingdom of Loathing goes deeper, holds tighter, and takes WAY less of your precious time and resources in return. It’s better than sex! Well, no. But it’s better than flossing, hands down!
We’re all on there, hanging out in clan SomaCow, which you are welcome to join. Sign up, have some fun, and meet new people… It’s what the internet should always be about.
A little backstory, here – In Kingdom of Loathing, the currency is known as “meat“. While I was typing this, user kmueller93, a complete stranger, noticed I was low on meat. So, she sent me meat. A crap ton. Like, significant digits of meats.
I am now rich with meat, and will be touring the mall looking for some better pants to wear. Life is good!
We sat around pantless til now to the great music of:
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