SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by Reset XC. He’s new, On You Tube, and ever since he cut his hair, I have hope once more for the next generation!
In this hour, we valiantly try to solve all the world’s ailments by discussing football season, which lasts for all of about ten seconds until J starts talking about beef.
We attack the heart of the matter, namely, scrub kids with tight pants and stupid hair acting weird. What the hell is wrong with you people? When I was a kid, we had the Stoners, the Jocks, the Freaks, the Goths, the Preps, the Hicks, the Nerds, the Geeks, The Thugs, The Metalheads, The Hippies, the Cool People, and the Mormons. We compartmentalized! It made it easier to know who to trust and who to hate. Now every damn kid looks like a greasy reject from onea them SuperBad movies. No one can keep up. Listen, you smarmy barely-bearded masses… You are killing the male archetype. If you act like this overlong, women are going to realize that they would rather just be with other women. Wait til your jobless ass ends up in prison, and see how far that look gets you. Because you are all going to jail. Miscreants!
We further discussed scams and ripoffs, including appetizers, food packaging, the government and your taxes, and Monavie. J would love to sit down and work out a “plan” with you and your loved one, so email him at J@somacow.com and show him some ID.
Mickey life coaches us on the importance of being humble. At that point, the show exploded, as irony was fully defined and complete.
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