SomaCow

 

 283: Mixed Nuts [1:01:54m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by The Underground Comedy Movie (Quite literally the worst movie I have ever laid eyes on). Just terrible. So very awful. Amazingly unsophomorically bad bad. I am being literal when I saw that the movie caused brain swelling, shame face, and a hundred fleeting glances at my fellow movie watchers as we shared the fleeting expression of “Why in the name of God did we ever start watching this, and why won’t we stop?”

In this hour, J returns from his lengthy bout with Captain Mick’s, the full-body flu all members of SomaCow Media suffered last week. J’s bout was especially daunting, as he is 95% hairless (you really should see the shine on his cankles), and needed extra time to find a big enough pot…. er… vat within which to make his chicken noodle soup.

We also paid Ross off for his Super Bowl bet, allowing him to sit in on second chair and run the Hopper. Run is a strong verb, as you will see listening back. I know the Hopper can be daunting, with it’s unnecessarily complex sub menus, treed file structures that build in no understandable way, and thousands upon thousands of Sports Buzz drops, but surely he could have loaded one break correctly? In retrospect, I do not believe he could. Super Producer Ross, every day.

Speaking of The Sports Buzz, we wish Ryan well as he goes to graze on sunnier pastures, returning to his roots in a studio at CSB. You guys can still check him out in his own Ustream starting next Sunday. I was really down about losing Ryan, until my Slap Chop and ShamWows arrived late Saturday afternoon. I have spent the last 24 hours slap chopping nuts, celery, banana chips, dog food, apples, oatmeal, garlic cloves, pineapples, small stuffed cows sent in by listeners, and the occasional radish. It’s fulfilling work, and, I really do love his nuts. Cashews, specifically.

Listeners will remember that I had what I believed to be a kidney stone, but after visiting the Doctor (a for realsies Doctor, not some homeopathic with doctorish tendencies) this week, I learned what I really have – namely, five months left to live. We discuss what my road to recovery must entail, and it turns out Mickey was right. Per usual.

J’s Newsbomb at the twenty contains a very special moment where he regales us with what has immediately been deemed by our live audience as the most offensive grouping of words ever uttered aloud on the internet. Our apologies to those mentioned’s families, as well as the Waffle House, and society in general. We can only attribute J’s offal to the fact that he is still swollen with flu and batter dipped shrimp.

Mickey and I try to talk about oil. It’s sad. Maybe next week, I can ask my question.

We round out the hour discussing Improv, one of J’s favorite forms of comedy, and try to nail down plans for an improv party. I used to go to SAK labs in Orlando to watch local up-and-coming comediettes perform, and was frequently left wanting more. I think the reality of improv is that in order to really succeed, you must make a gay joke, a gay reference, or insinuate that you or your fellow players is gay. Consider Whose Line is it, Anyway? – The only times a Ryan Stiles or a Greg Prooooobst ever really shined was when they were intimating that something going down involved buttsexery. Prove me wrong?

We also got to jam out to a second helping of Whistling in the Dark, courtesy of Ross and his spectacular pointing and clicking. My wife enjoyed it, at least.

Next week, we may have our worst movie party (having already screened TUCM, I cannot imagine that J’s pick will be worse – A homework assignment for you, loyal members of The Heard – What movie is just so awful, so bad, so rotten, that it cannot be sat through? Email, comment, twitter, facebook, whatever. You know how to get a hold of us. Thanks!

This entry was posted on Monday, February 9th, 2009 at 12:01 am and is filed under Podcast.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.