Hello again, friends! I have missed you bunches, and I trust that you have weathered our absence with a minimum of itching. In this delicious and brimming hour of SomaCow, we got some legs and went hunting for topics galore. Earthday was the main theme, which I think we can all agree is a giant pantload of commercialism and communism and capitali… Wait. That isn’t right.
We mock the “What to Do for Earthday (which I will from here on out be referring to as GAD, or Glorified Arbor Day)” Websites, and their endless litanies of exciting and utterly worthless ways you too can celebrate Earth Day. Look, people. I contribute to the environment plenty. I wear my jeans twice before I wash ‘em, minimum, and I shave twice annually. There is nothing more I can give. Well… Maybe I do not need to take 4 showers a day. But I always smell like ass for some reason…
They were giving away the gift of life at Home Depot, apparently… I guess people just lined up and got fertilized at the do… Oh Sorry. LIGHTS… they were giving away lights at Home Depot. I really should listen more attentively to our show!
Okay, so, we chewed on Mother Gaia for a while, found her to be fine, and moved on to Hitler’s Birthday and the incredible fact that most commies are svelte. I still say that it’s the breadlines what really pops those cheekbones out.
Also, Mickey and I broke into song. I feel a Karaoklypse coming on again soon. If only I could get him to do the choruses to “Sixteen Tons”.
We went on to expose ourselves to law enforcement in general, with a cavalcade of ticket stories. We fought the law, and the law totally got a 3-2 split decision on us, which we contested, and is now under review by the gaming commissioner’s office in Vegas. Here’s hoping!
Speaking of exposing a lie, Kentuckians Cain’t! Yee HAW! A magical tale of human bondage and the key to release; We bring you this nugget especially for the incarcerated (Hi Uncle Thomas!)… You gotta hear this story to believe it.
Credit Card scammery, late night television is teh poopdeck, and other assorted fly by night discussion. Mickey had a coworker that made 4 billion dollars and now owns the Sun. Find out how someone amassed such a fortune with an RV and a dream. And an asston of capital.
Speaking of capital, got any?!?
-blatant panhandle.
Music featured this hour of SomaCow went down like this:
The A.K.A.s – Gotta Get Outta Here
Spitalfield – Won’t Back Down
Notorious MSG (NEW ALBUM!!!) – Muther Bitch
The Dark Romantics – A Million Bucks
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