SomaCow

SomaCow Media Network is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you by 2broadscast.com. Show them some love, and help them defeat the evil copyright infringers over at 2broadscasting.com – Hoors!

In this hour, we discussed How I Fail, How the Simpsons Fail, How Obama will now Fail, and how Our Sales Staff is a Very Big Fail.

I fail because I am very, very fat. No, it’s true. Yes, you are very kind. Yes, like a Hippo being attacked by Dig Dug, I agree.

The Simpsons, sadly, really do fail. Many people may attack me for this opinion, but that doesn’t change the fact that they should have wrapped up the story in Springfield circa sideshow Bob’s sixth showcase. They aren’t even dated anymore, they are charactertures (like that?) of themselves. If the Simpson’s were forced to adjust to the realities of 2008, Homer and Marge would be divorced, Homer would be the skinniest guy in his office, Marge would be a cougar, Lisa would be a militant PETA lesbian, and Bart would spend every day getting the ever loving Christ beaten out of him by the Mexicans. Ay Caramba, indeed.

Speaking of Mexicans… Our Boy O’Berto sure did step in it but good this week, yeah? I still have CHope, but not much. The man is a genius, so why does he not know enough to wait UNTIL he gets in office to awaken America to the sad, harsh realities she so desperately will fight to ignore? This is, yet again, the effect of too much pressure and coverage too early on the candidates. They blow their load. By the time someone is elected, they are already a lame duck, and half the country is fed up with their rhetoric.

Our sales staff got the tables turned on them. Allow me to try, once more, to explain to our audience – If you are selling shammy, scammy, shady, or shoddy… Sell it elsewhere, please. We’re full up to the brim!
Seriously… What is the deal with all the MonaVie and Juice Plus and Noni and on and on and on. It’s PART OF A BALANCED BREAKFAST, PEOPLE. There is no fountain of youth, nor is there a miraculous elixir, nor is there even a really decent cup of coffee… ‘Cept maybe wawa. Thanks again, Chrispy.

I shaved it down with my boys to the following great tunes;

Lust Penguins – Misunderstood

Tags: 2 broadscast, acai, comedy, dig dug, fail, fat, internet, juice plus, monavie, noni, obama, orlando, Podcast, radio, simpsons, somacow, suck, talk, wawa coffee

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Firkin and Kegler of Orlando, Florida. I am not sure if I want to recommend them to you, but what the hell, you can click on their website and listen to some happy dope beats, sho’ nuff.

In this hour, we celebrated the birth of Star Wars and discussed some LucasNuts decisions, we talked about my adventures as a Skee-Ball champion, and we weighed in on the way a man drinks soda.

I got to check out the new Indiana Jones movie with some good friends this weekend, and am somewhat frustrated with myself. I sat down in the theater and swore to myself that I would NOT judge this movie with my 29 year old eyes. I would approach it with the same mindset of a kid, not looking for plotholes and campyness, but really enjoying the adventure and wonder of it all. I cannot say that I came away “cheated” of my money. I just feel that this movie should have been made about 10 years ago. Harrison Ford would have been the right age, the sweep of the story would still have been culturally relevant, and the special effects would have fit right in. Sadly, after seeing movies like National Treasure, shows like Heroes, and all these other new “bar-setters”, I just don’t think Spielberg and Lucas can deliver the power, wonder, and significance they once did. I definitely would say go see the movie. I am simply sad to report that I did not walk out filled with the electricity of it all. Maybe I am just numb and fat and old. But so are you.

Got the chance to check out one of those new Bowling/Bar/Arcade and Family Entertainment complexes, this one went by the name of the Firken and Bageutte, or something. It was neat, and offers huge bowling, drinking, and eating chances, but somehow, I spent my whole day in the arcade/midway thing, creeping out the kids and struggling vainly to beat my wife… at skee-ball. The woman is a damned ringer, and never had a game below 20,000 points. I was somewhat irritated to see how popular the “Put in a dollar, have no chance of winning the jackpot, walk away with 10 or less consolatory tickets” games were. Is that good for our kids? To teach them from such a young age that all that glitters is a lie, and no one wins big, and if you want the really cool prize, it’s gonna cost you more time and money and effort than you could ever muster? Maybe it is. Not everyone can be President, Billy, and certainly not you. Stupid crane games.

J’s son celebrated a birthday, as did Listener Mustang Sally, and Miz Mel and Kim of 2Broadscast.com – I don’t know why, but a lotta people must hump on Labor Day weekend! My own daughter was due to come into this world today per our calculations, but we aren’t going to start worrying if she hasn’t shown up til June. Who wants to bust up a three-day weekend with a bunch of pushing and groaning and stress, yeah? Plenty of time for that later.

We rounded out the hour with some fast food talk and cup discussion. All our talk about massive quantities of soda forces me to ask: IOCL? And, are we downing too much damned soda, as a people? No one should be drinking 48 oz of anything in one sitting. How much of the carbonated beverage do you go through in a week, Heard?

We guzzled down the following great bands:

• Straight Outta Junior High – Love Song
• Ann Beretta – Bottlecaps

Tags: 2 broadscast, 48 oz, ann beretta, birthday, campyness, comedy, due date, firkin, harrison ford, heroes, indiana jones, internet, kegler, labor day, lucas, memorial day, mustang sally, mz mel, national treasure, orlando, plotholes, Podcast, radio, soda, sojh, somacow, star wark, straight outta junior high, talk, ticket