Posts Tagged “all”

 
icon for podpress  157: J, J, and J - Plus, also, J [1:02:39m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Uncle Jones Nothin’ Mo’ Betta BBQ. The entire staff of SomaCow (except Ross, who had a date with a cube steak and his bare hands) invaded this friendly little soul food kitchen and broke bread, then seat, then stomach together in honor of J.

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There are no bones about it; we spend quite a bit of time discussing J in this hour, and then later we touch on J, followed by quite a lengthy dissertation by Mickey on the subject of J.

J likes riddles, and so, I will simply convert this episode’s blog to a series of three riddles. See if you are smart enough to come up with the answers. Try not to cheat, you silly little Googlizers!

1) – There are at least ten body parts that are spelled in three letters. Can you name them all?

2) – With pointed fangs it sits in wait, With piercing force it doles out fate, Over bloodless victims proclaiming its might, Eternally joining in a single bite. What am I?

3) – I’m a riddle in nine syllables,
An elephant, a ponderous house,
A melon strolling on two tendrils
O red fruit, Ivory, fine timber!
The loaf’s big with its yeasty rising
Money’s new minted in this fat purse.
I’m a means, a stage, a cow in calf.
I’ve eaten a bag of green apples
Boarded the train there’s no getting off.

So, yeah. Have fun with that!

We talked about J, sure, and then did a decent discussion on Mr. John McCain, who seems to need a rage doll. The man just gets into fits, and we are not so sure that is a bad thing. Better to be angry, but smart, than a complete boob. I am still pulling for Mr. Obama, as he is certainly capable of bringing eloquence back into vogue. Just look at that sentence! It REEKS of vocabulary!

Hillary? Bitch, please. I hate to relegate such a powerful woman null, but the reality is that her very actions have done that FOR her for the last twenty years. Forget all the republican spewed vitriol about “not pleasing her man” and “knowing her place”. I like a strong woman. I just feel that she is duplicitous and does not have the best interest of this nation in her “to do” list. The woman is avarice personified, and lacks genuine empathy. Or at least, that is what I know for a complete fact, having never met the woman, nor spent any real time in her company.

See, that is what I hate about the internet. Four billion yahoos yammering off their fool heads about subjects that they have no idea about. It’s sort of beautiful, isn’t it?

Okay, Heard – We haven’t really boiled it down, but – who do you want as President, and why? What is important to you now? The War? The Economy? The Food Prices? Black Preacher Etiquette? Sound off, and get into the discussion. I want to actually participate in this year’s election, instead of voting the way my wife’s dad tells me to. Let’s hear what you think, and maybe elect the better candidate.

Time Magazine turns 85, and I am lining up to be the first to pull the m’f'ing plug. DNR, all the way. What a travesty, that these people are paid any money to develop news content. I have spent time in waiting rooms, flipping through that particular week’s articles, and actually come away from Time Magazine DUMBER than I was about the subject when I sat down. Misinformation, second hand sourcing, and late-late-late breaking news. Time Magazine is news at the speed of fail.

In fact, we’d be alright with it if someone were to take Time, modern Pundits, and whoever beta tested Vista, and put them in a small room with no windows for a very long time.

Oh, and Ross was booted off the mic for the very first time! Tune in to hear why, as it will probably be an answer in whatever elaborate and unnecessarily complex trivia contest we next host.

You know who DOESN’T have suckers on their appendages? These fantastic bands!:

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icon for podpress  138: Enjoy Your Spaghetti... [1:01:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by the fine folks at Rational Riot. It’s sort of like that Candlebox song, but without all the emotive rocking.

Okay. Shocker episode this time around, because we talked about food, and drinking, and rude. We were champing at the bit to get down to Texas de Brazil, and so we raced around. In a valiant effort to get the goddamned subject off of eating for once, we discussed the finer points of shaving. I seriously need to, and ingrown hairs are just plain nasty. What a horrific flaw in the design of man that is, and proof positive that shaving is an unnatural and weird act.

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I find it humorous that people consider shaving to be a sign of culture and etiquette, considering the irrational ideas behind such behavior. You pluck hair from a horse, and make lather from alkaline death, and sharpen steel and place it by your jugular… How barbaric.

Look… I will shave. I really will. I just have to spread out the time between shaves, with the average being about two to three months. We discuss in this episode what happens if you do more.

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We also talked about drunken behavior, and cell phone behavior, and why it is incredibly difficult to not walk over to the counter at seven eleven and pick up the happy yellow coffeepot and smash it over the guy next to you in line’s head repeatedly, until he collapses into a heap of bloodied skin, broken bone, and smashed bluetooth. I’m not violent, but I am willing to learn, you know?

Weekly Constitutional focused on Henry Rollins’ The First Five, a collection of his earlier narratives and verse from the 80s. Gripping stuff, and I highly recommend it if you are intelligent and somewhat mad. Then again, you listen to this show, so you are obviously intelligent, and quite mad. Buy the book, support the show, free your mind, eat at Joe’s, and all that razzamatazz.

This hour also features the oddest, and most frightening thing I have ever been asked by a listener. I don’t even want to go into it. It’s just… odd. I want to believe the person asking was a woman, and joking, but I am pretty sure that neither was the case. Just go listen. The Horror.

You know what would be good to listen to on a Free iTouch, courtesy of SomaCow? The following great artists, THAT’s what. Chicken Butt.

Oh, and apologies to Mickey for the Dane Cook reference. I just can’t control myself. My. SELF.

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