Posts Tagged “all you can eat”

 
icon for podpress  138: Enjoy Your Spaghetti... [1:01:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by the fine folks at Rational Riot. It’s sort of like that Candlebox song, but without all the emotive rocking.

Okay. Shocker episode this time around, because we talked about food, and drinking, and rude. We were champing at the bit to get down to Texas de Brazil, and so we raced around. In a valiant effort to get the goddamned subject off of eating for once, we discussed the finer points of shaving. I seriously need to, and ingrown hairs are just plain nasty. What a horrific flaw in the design of man that is, and proof positive that shaving is an unnatural and weird act.

shaving.jpg

I find it humorous that people consider shaving to be a sign of culture and etiquette, considering the irrational ideas behind such behavior. You pluck hair from a horse, and make lather from alkaline death, and sharpen steel and place it by your jugular… How barbaric.

Look… I will shave. I really will. I just have to spread out the time between shaves, with the average being about two to three months. We discuss in this episode what happens if you do more.

cartmenpubes.jpg

We also talked about drunken behavior, and cell phone behavior, and why it is incredibly difficult to not walk over to the counter at seven eleven and pick up the happy yellow coffeepot and smash it over the guy next to you in line’s head repeatedly, until he collapses into a heap of bloodied skin, broken bone, and smashed bluetooth. I’m not violent, but I am willing to learn, you know?

Weekly Constitutional focused on Henry Rollins’ The First Five, a collection of his earlier narratives and verse from the 80s. Gripping stuff, and I highly recommend it if you are intelligent and somewhat mad. Then again, you listen to this show, so you are obviously intelligent, and quite mad. Buy the book, support the show, free your mind, eat at Joe’s, and all that razzamatazz.

This hour also features the oddest, and most frightening thing I have ever been asked by a listener. I don’t even want to go into it. It’s just… odd. I want to believe the person asking was a woman, and joking, but I am pretty sure that neither was the case. Just go listen. The Horror.

You know what would be good to listen to on a Free iTouch, courtesy of SomaCow? The following great artists, THAT’s what. Chicken Butt.

Oh, and apologies to Mickey for the Dane Cook reference. I just can’t control myself. My. SELF.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments 3 Comments »

 
icon for podpress  SomaCow Episode 4 [59:00m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We announced today the addition of one of our favorite people in the whole wide world, a man without peer in the ways of humor, intellect, and smoothiness, J. That’s it. J. We invite you to join us and welcome him to our little thing. We are sure that his input will help us to take this project to the big leagues, where we will all chew pink gum instead of cud. And you, The loyal and bountiful Heard, will be there with us, enjoying the salad days of the epoch of SomaCow, forged in….

Wow.

Sometimes, I get heady. This hour, we delved into our adventures in belly bursting, as SomaCow-Lite careened into a local wonderstraunt by the name of High Tide Harry’s, which specializes in great quality, affordable, and tasty seafoodian victuals. We chose the battlefield, Snow Crab. We squared off against the Mighty Sandra, and our struggle was legendary. Check out the show for a detailed analysis of Buffet Battle techniques, All-You-Can-Eatiquette, and the importance of avoiding hushpuppies.

clife.jpg

Also featured this hour was our invasion of a local Wing establishment, where we witnessed the waitresses’ ways of working their wiles, wielding secret weapons with which they wage war, wantonly winding wealthy men awound their wingers. What the hell is wrong with me?

This episode the great bands we featured were:

Animal Chin – When all the Chips are Down
Duenow – Sex & Guns
Chuck Ragan – California Burritos
!!! – Bend Over Beethoven

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comments 2 Comments »