SomaCow

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The SuperBowl is over and the Pittsburgh Steelers have made history.  They are the first NFL team to accumulate six SuperBowl Rings.

I am from the Pittsburgh area, and steel was what I grew up knowing.  For show and tell, my dad sent me to school with chunks of iron and coke and a bunch of other stuff that went into making steel.

When you checked out a book the librarian gave you a Steelers trading card.  When you passed the crossing guard, they gave you a Steelers trading card.  There were 12 copies of the Mean Joe Green biography.  (It was a whopping 12 pages kid’s book.)

Aside from that, in this episode we discussed how I brought forth the plague that will eventually end mankind.  I am the Army of the 12 Mickey’s.

The Army of the Twelve Mickeys –they’re the ones who are going to do it.  I can’t do anything more.  The police are watching me.

Tags: american, Arizona Cardinals, football, National Football League, NFL, Pittsburgh Steelers, sports, super bowl

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by The Aftermath. Every Saturday night from 8:00 to 10:00pm (Eastern), check out their relentless and entertaining show!

So, we’re always growing here on the network. We’ve enjoyed success with many new additions over the last few months, and we are very excited about our new show, The Aftermath. Jordan and CJ are bringing fresh takes on all manner of topics, from politics to entertainment to local issues… There isn’t a row they won’t hoe. I don’t even know what that means. Get in there and check ‘em out!

 

A long time ago, George Carlin once commented that “Most people that are against abortion are people you wouldn’t want to F#$@ in the first place.” I wanted to see if that could be true, and we valiantly, if not vainly, attempted to find a hot republican woman. Babs? Ann? Laura? Sigh… Government is broken.

We touched on the Florida Voting Armageddon, set to unleash as,yet AGAIN, Floridian Idiots will end up somehow deciding the fate of the entire nation. How does this continue to be the recurring theme in every election? At least, this time, Michigan will have to take some of the heat. The Democratic Party should be ashamed of themselves, and I changed my party affiliation to Democrat so that I can participate in the special election they will inevitably force soon.

I am not going to mount a soapbox here, I just want you to think about this. The Democrats are broken. The Republicans are broken. We need third party intervention, or fifth party, or seventy eighth party… There are far too many voices in this country to summate the scope with a single man. It may have worked in the 1700s, and even the 1900s, but we can no longer have the bomb, the military, and the veto in one dumb hand. Time for government to shut up for a while, and people to get busy producing. Let’s aim for creating a quagmire, and halt the addition of ANY new legislation.

Okay. Enough about world issues. We discussed a dark secret of one of our very own hosts. Followers of Oz may remember a certain prison term known as “spooning”. Which of us harbors such a creepy history? Strangely, this is the part of the blog where I will not choose to inform you that SomaCow is giving away a free iTouch media player. Take the test for a chance to win damn near $300.00 of shiny plastic and glowing parts. You deserve it, sweetie.

Please forgive the singing. I swear, I never wanted you to hear that. We made it up to you with the following fantastic artists:

• Dirty Wormz – Black Piranha
• Dirty Wormz – Wig On The Pig

Can someone please tell me why Simon is doing this all the time now on American Idol?

Did they finally address it on the show? I noticed it a few weeks ago, and it’s just…… WEIRD

Tags: abortion, aftermath, alternative, american, ann, baba, barbara, bullwinkle, carlin, comedy, democrat, dirty, election, florida, free, gargamel, george, hand, hbo, idol, independant, independent, internet, ipod, itouch, laura, moose, orlando, oz, Podcast, primary, prison, radio, republican, simon, spooning, vote, woman, wormz

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by Mickey, the hardest working man in show business. Contact Mickey@somacow.com for all your technical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

In this hour we talk about the death of an American Hero. Almost as influential as Martin Luther King Jr. Nearly as inspiring as Neil Armstrong. More patriotic than Uncle Sam cooking up an apple pie flavored hot dog at a tailgating party for the Patriots… I am talking about Richard Knerr, co-founder of Wham-O. Millions of Americans have been hurting themselves in their respective backyards with these fine products for half a century, and SomaCow is happy to salute the man that made molded plastics available to all our children. If you have kids, bore them today with stories of how children once went “outside” to “play” with “friends”. They will probably call you a n00b and homerow your ass, but that is parenting, so, enjoy it.

We enjoyed the company of my good friend Cassie, who is currently embroiled in a weight loss challenge against me. The first one to lose 1/3 of their total initial body weight wins a car, or money, or a Sabrett’s, or something, and she is beating me, hands down. She has a secret weapon, which she describes in gory detail in this episode. Tune in and learn about a new medical method of teaching tubbies to temper their tummies.

That’s alliteration, yo.

We discussed teaching, and kids, and school, and the significant dearth of African Americans in my life. If you are a black man, and you want a fat white friend, drop me a line geoff@somacow.com – I seriously do not want to die a racist.

Mickey brought to our attention a possible solution to the health care issue in this Great Nation. It seems that poor people have too much health care, and that needs to be stopped immediately. By getting back monies that we squander on immunizations, sutures, and grief counseling for the poor, we can afford more money to be funneled into naming bridges and streets after Ronald Reagan.

J is voting for Ron Paul, and I just don’t know what to make of that. Doesn’t Ron Paul believe in aliens or something? Anyway, we drummed up support for the following great bands in this episode:

SOJH – University of Shitface
The Dollyrots – Watch Me Go
Dirty Wormz – Top of the Food Chain
Three Bad Jacks – Ace of Spades

Check ‘em out, sessy.

Tags: african, alternative, american, black, care, cass, cassandra, cassie, dirty, dollyrots, fat, friend, frisbee, health, high, homerow, hoop, hula, independant, independent, internet, junior, knerr, loss, n00b, noob, orlando, outside, outta, paul, play, Podcast, racist, radio, reagan, richard, ron, ronald, sabretts, somacow, straight, us, usa, weight, wham-o, white, wormz, yo