I have been advised by sage commentators to use my food as medicine, and I’d like to think I have been, mostly.
Still, I know some naughtiness has been sneaking in. Somehow, there are eggs showing up pretty frequently in my diet, along with more protein than is necessary, and at some meals, I am eschewing (that means shunning, or avoiding, for those of you “reading” from Tampa. Just think of what you do with education, or soap) carbs altogether.
Which is a no-no. I may have yet to go to “diabetes education”, but I know I AM supposed to eat some carbs. Diabetes is not equal to Atkins, forsooth.
Incidentally, I am somewhat concerned about “diabetes education”. It sounds like “defective citizen reprogramming” or “12 hour snooze fest” or “Department of Motor Vehicles times 1,000″. It sure is taking a long time to get scheduled. I will probably need to start calling people. I am learning the truth about modern medicine and doctors – the squeaky but polite patient gets to live.
Anyway, in an effort to eat a carb, today I had a slice of whole wheat bread, a 1/4 cup of brown rice, and a tray of raspberries. The raspberries were delicious, and I feel pretty balanced. I have been enjoying back to back days in the 100s on my blood sugar, which is right within that magical 70-120 range.
Today it occurred to me that I am a different person than I was. I am angrier than I used to be. I really need to work on that. The whole idea of this blog is that I supposedly do NOT want to die, but it’s obvious that anger leads to ragey blood, and ragey blood leads to heart snap, and heart snap leads to pine box. I cannot help that I get pissed, but I can learn to redirect that anger to something useful.
But along with that, I now have… I am not sure what the word is for it… Drive? Ambition? People, I had a break today and chose to use it to walk.
To walk??!?!? WTFBBQ?
If you have known me for, oh, any length of time, you know that I am the kind of guy that will circle a business for a half an hour (or force dear nurse to do so) waiting for a parking space in the “cush” zones.
Now I park anywhere. Now I offer to double back in the grocery store to pick up nurse’s hoo-hoo products. Now I… walk a mile and a half on my lunch break? And it’s not even like I argued in my head. Saw park, pulled over, took walk. Pretty neat!
As I walked, I felt my inadequacies cavorting, trying to talk me out of it.
“You’re wearing jeans – Fatboy gonna chafe!”
“Your shoe tongue keeps popping forward of your pant leg – People will stare!”
“There’s a school – Bet the teachers are calling the police on you right now!”
“Your poor knees – You must hate them so to do this!”
…and on and on and on. If you have ever been fat, you know how loud and somehow persuasive the “voices” get.
But I was in no mood for the negativity, and just kept walking. It was a good day to live!
My eyes were still good today, but around nightfall I started to notice some slight blurring around the edges. Much of this blog is fuzzy, and I have been up since 4:30, so I am going to take a break.
Tags: anger, carbs, diabetes, exercise, park, raspberries, voices, walk
Entries (RSS)