SomaCow

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by The Olde Cup and Saucer. It’s the best damn gypsy business in town, and Jen and I absolutely love it.

In this episode, we discussed my newfound love for tea, in all its forms, from the new Pure Leaf stuff being pimped by Lipton to this special magic brew oolong bomb secret spicy tea I am drinking. I only ask 2 things from my tea – be cold, and not taste like rotting fruit. There is NOTHING worse than tea that has sat in a cistern at a fast food restaurant for too long, and now every sip makes you wonder if it was brewed from the grout cleanings at the local YMCA shower. Except maybe Nestea. Holy crap, there must be acid in that stuff, like, scour your pooldeck acid, cause it will give you the burning coughy all day long.

We tried out a new segment, where I quiz my fellow hosts in an effort to determine who is paying attention. I think it was fun, Mickey and J looked silly, and the listeners enoyed playing along, so I think I will make it a Staple each week. Play along in the chatroom, and prove to everyone else that you are the smart!
We talked about a terrible story from Hawaii, where bureaucracy has caused one family the ultimate in suffering. For shame, faceless governmental agency sprouting needlessly from our senseless fear… For SHAME.

We also talk about my MAN! He may not be as lefty as Kucinich, or as outsidery as Ron Paul, but I feel like it is time. It’s time, for

I cannot wait! A vote for Obama is a vote against old people!

I choked down so much meat this week, that my olfactory isn’t making enough ol’ offal for me to get through Henry Rollins, so I cheated and pre-reviewed Mr. Black’s book. I am ashamed, you are nonplussed, Amazon is waiting for your credit card number.

We all agree that the writer’s strike, while lengthy, was unnecessary. After watching recent episodes of all the major evening shows, it is apparent that the writers were not what made the shows so good.

Mickey rarely suggests links, so you should take notice of these:

Funny or Die

You Suck At Photoshop

Andy Mila… Millakno…. Milinoc…. That Fat Greek Kid is NOT The Man Show Boy. I am serious, look it up.

Mickey also regaled us with a film that we must go see, if only to look for traces of Chrispy.

Please feel free to send us your independent music, movie scripts, finger paintings, pictures of bewbs, and other assorted creative stuffs, and we will happily display it in a place of prominence, here, on the internet’s refrigerator door of justice. moo@somacow.com!

Music:

• The Saints – Je Fuckin’ T’aime

• Bad Astronaut – Auto Care

Hey, about that Free iPod! Make sure you check the top o’ the page for the linkity link!

Tags: alternative, andy, astronaut, atkins, bad, barack, black, boobs, chat, comedy, constipation, cup, die, diet, free, funny, futi, hawaii, henry, independant, independent, internet, ipod, kucinich, leaf, lewis, man, michael, milonakis, movie, music, obama, olde, orlando, paul, photoshop, pittsburgh, Podcast, pure, quiz, radio, rollins, ron, saints, samoa, saucer, scripts, show, shower, suck, tea, ustream, ymca

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Barackolyspe Now, coming soon to a theater near you.

In this, our finest hour, we lay waste to the waste layer of an entire generation, namely, World of Warcraft. It’s time, good people of the world, to slough off the scales of sedimentary life, to brush away the moss that has formed so slowly, and yet so completely, over your backs and hearts and libidos as you sat, day after day, endlessly grinding levels in an effort to stop getting killed on raids so quickly. Free yourself from Blizzard Entertainment and move the hell ON from this bloated, overdone franchise of games. Besides, Star Craft II is out, and you know you want it.

Normally, dear listener, Jen writes down simple one sentence liner notes in an effort to help me fabricate these blogs. Today, I find it necessary to impart to you all what she has transcribed for my use at this time:

J uses it to take a break-should walk or have sex with his wife.

What more can be said that that?

Mickey has brilliant plans for a new restaurant, which we will be opening as soon as we finish the other 75 business ventures we are currently working on. Suffice it to say, we know our target market, and are hard at work finding an architect that can design a dining room to accommodate that much weight. Who designs circus tents, anyway?

We spend some time discussing the mystery that is the modern hot dog. Whether it be the infamous goop dog (does anyone have a photo of this supposed food product?) Or a strange buttload of hot pressed hogmeat, Greek style, we pay homage to the Tube Meat.I also have been literally attacked by the classmates, friend finder, and highschool hores where is they now type sites lately. Do you have really good friends from childhood, people that you have known all your life, and will always remain daily-tight with. I don’t mean fond of, I mean “have lunch with them daily”? I think it’s a shame, but the reality of the internet is that we can use it to choose the people we speak with, whereas childhood friends are just a happy happenstance of proximity and scheduling. Weird, and so precious that you retain such friendships if you are able.

Mickey gives a double dose of the LifeCoaching, both in segment and a personal aside to Today’s Male Youth.

We also discussed the base falseness of women, specifically, being extra nice to a person’s face when secretly you wouldn’t piss on their mother if she were infected with some weird bacteria that specifically required urine in order to combat terrible deep tissue cramps, or something. I don’t know, women just do weird stuff.

Come up and say hi to us and bye to a very good friend of ours, The Uberbastard

Wednesday Night at The Willow Tree Restaurant in Downtown Sanford. Here’s a map, so you won’t get lost.

Clickity Clina, The Clinese Clickah

On street parking is usually pretty easy to grab. Share the boot, have some sausages, and hit on Theo’s excellent multinational staff. Employees, not his actual mannschaft.

We enjoyed the following footlong bands during this episode:

• Straight Outta Junior High – Target Has My Heart
• 350 – Battle Cry

Tags: 350, barack, barackolypse, blizzard, buffet, comedy, craft, cramps, dog, entertainment, fat, friend, goop, high, hot, independant, independent, junior, mannschaft, music, nice, obama, of, orlando, outta, people, Podcast, radio, restaurant, sanford, sojh, star, straight, talk, three, tree, uberbastard, warcraft, willow, women, world

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this episode by DrewShow.com – Check out Drew, unleashed and unfettered!

In this hour, we celebrate the rise to power for Mr. Obama. In all honesty, it is refreshing to have such a candidate, summated by Dear Ol’ Joe “Whole Lotta Darkies Under My Toolshed” Biden

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy [...] I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

Indeed it is, you big bad douche. I am thrilled at a return to hope and decency. I am sure that the Republicans will throw everything they have at Mr. Obama in the coming months, but I do not worry about his ability to overcome such adversity. I mean, he will have already defeated the great spite of the Clintons. Talk about trial by fire.

It’s Listener-Mongo’s birthday, and we wish him a happy happy one at that. Also, sad news for Listener-Juan, as his entire village was recently attacked by a massive volcano. Send him pictures of your boobs c/o Mickey@somacow.com – He will make sure they find their way to Juan in this time of need.

We also discussed the failure of the Republican Party to maintain a single plank of their own platform. Show me the candidate that will actually provide:

Smaller Government
Hushing of Religion
Less Egregious Spending
Effective Foreign Policy

While I wait, I will enjoy the following great bands featured in this, our finest hour:

• Against Me – Sink Florida Sink
• Mad Caddies – State of Mind
• Nick Atoms – Different Strokes
• 350 – The World is Born of Flame

Tags: african, barack, barak, baraka, barbecue, ca ca, caca, columbia, drew, drewshow.com, hotness, hussein, iraq, mongo, mongolian, new, obama, osama, show, volcan, volcano