SomaCow

Originally pasteurized at SomaCow.com

In this hour we discussed Famous Fat Guys, Ross’s Dapper Makeover, and An Incident at Chick-Fil-A.

I spent a good amount of energy screaming about breastfeeding in this hour, and I know that I sometimes get so hot that facts get ignored, or emotion overcomes discussion. I want to take a moment to give you some real reasons to not only allow women to breastfeed, but to further encourage them to do so:

1. A baby with a mouthful of titty shuts up. It’s true! Some stoic babies may make a few muffled “meh” noises between sucks, but for the most part, boob in mouth means I can eat my chicken sandwich and not hear

AAAAAHHHHHHHHGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for half an hour. Isn’t that nice? Yes it is. Shhh.

2. Breastfeeding moms use up more calories, and therefore are not giant and fat and nasty. It’s true. If you know a chick with a baby, you can tell her to damn near ignore “getting back to the gym” simply by eating marginally healthy and using her boob for its intended purpose.

3. Might see a boob – as Elross points out in this hour, few boobs under the age of 65 should go unobserved.

4. Formula, and the poop made BY formula, stinks 256% more than regular poop. Seriously. That smell? That awful smell coming from over there? That’s Enfamil, Nestle, and whatever other poison crap most moms seem to give their kids these days.

5. SOMEONE in the restaurant should be eating a food that doesn’t kill them from the inside.

I am officially at the end of my rope on this topic. I welcome you, whomever you are, to let me know in person that you are against breastfeeding. Stupid bastards.

Tags: baby, boob, breastfeeding, chick-fil-a, comedy, fat guys, formula, internet, orlando, Podcast, radio, somacow, talk

SomaCow Media is technically presenting SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Earth Trivia. My sincerest apologies to Curtis and his team, as they will surely want to know what we said in this hour, and yet must slog through our show to get to the content. I pity them. because…

In this hour, we strove to present a more marketable product by spending an entire hour saying the word Penis. I am pretty sure that is not what we said at the show prep meeting, but in listening back, yep, we say Penis. A bunch.

In addition to that, we gave a review of Forgetting Sarah Somethingorother, which was a really, really funny movie. I highly recommend you spending the $42.73 it now takes to go to the theater and enjoy the movie. Try to see it with a group, cause comedies are always funnier that way. Best damn movie laughs since There’s Something About Mary.

J regaled us with a harrowing tale of his efforts to eat. J has longtime been a true eatsplorer, and it appears his efforts to consume massive quantities of ribs met with a certain foreign object being lodged in his throat, esophagus, stomach, bowel, and, sadly, our show. Did he live, or die? Check out his News Bomb at the :20 to be sure!

We talked about the best usages of penis in film, barely grazing the surface of this surely exciting topic!

Jesus. I don’t know what to tell you guys. We’ll be back next time with an episode about Harleys, and Boobs… SOMEthing.

If you want to hear a show with 100% LESS Penis, I highly recommend Curtis Earth’s GameShow Radio on 1190 AM here in Orlando. It’s trivia, which, as Cracker once sang, is most assuredly what the World Needs Now.

You know who is better than Cracker?
These fine bands, which we played in this hour!

• Wicker Hollow – Scream Through A Village
• Ethan Lipton – For The Last Time

“Love the Penis” – Geoff

“I’m J, and you’re listening to my Penis” – J

“All the sudden…BAM! Penis” – Mickey

Tags: 1190, am, boob, comedy, cracker, curtis, earth, ethan lipton, forgetting sarah marshall, harley, independant, independent, internet, orlando, penis, Podcast, radio, rib, somacow, something about mary, throat, trivia, what the world needs now, wicker hollow

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Hormel’s Delicious Beef Au Jus. It’s just nummy!

I am dedicating this blog to the fact that George W. Bush is a flipping retard, a boob, an idiot, an imbecile, a half-wit, a moron, a blockhead, a featherbrain, a dolt, a numbskull, a nincompoop, a pinhead, a goon AND a boob, a dunce, a donkey, a knothead, a jackass, and a base-faced eater of broken meats. Let me know if I missed any adjectives.

In this hour, we played the following great bands:

• BAYSIDE-CHOICE HOPS AND BOTTLED SELF ESTEEM
• NOFX-LEAVING JESUSLAND

Don’t forget to check out American Gods, by Neil Gaiman!

Click here to get it!

Tags: au, bayside, beef, blockhead, boob, boon, bush, comedy, dolt, donkey, duncy, featherbrain, george, good, gw, half-wit, hormel, idiot, imbecile, independant, independent, jackass, jus, knothead, moron, music, nincompoop, nofx, numbskull, nummy, orlando, pinhead, Podcast, radio, retard, talk