SomaCow

Originally raced at SomaCow.com

In this hour, we got a call in from listener Chrispy and he gave the run down of his um, run! He and Ross had this big challenge re who could do a 5k faster.

Carter also called in and updated us on his cross country trek. He was in Austin this time. I’ve heard such great things about that town.

And we gave Ross some belated birthday gifts. He would have gotten them on his birthday if he had answered his phone but I guess that race we talked about above wiped him out.

And our very own Just Bee/Grill Momma called in and sang an awesome rendition of a birthday song! You have to listen! I’m hoping we get a transcript of the lyrics!

Tags: 5k, carter, challenge, chrisp, chrispy, comedy, cross country, internet, orlando, Podcast, radio, talk

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Chris P For President. It’s the straight up biscuits, served by a man we love and… umm… know.

In this episode, I go over some of the feedback to Faux Pas 2009 (2009), we talk about eating alone, and the importance of “booth room”, we discuss The Death of CSB, and what that portends to quite a few local podcasts, and we gave some shouts outs and song requests to the creme de la creamy.

Connecticut School of Broadcasting School of Broadcasting Broadcasting School closed this week, and hundreds of students are reportedly pissed off. It seems there was a stipulation that one of the perks of graduating said CSBSBBS was the use of the facility’s, namely, studio time and check out of AV equipment, and now that the massive organization has gone tits-up, everyone is left in the lurch with regard to their respective demo reels, shows, and sundry projects.

We here at the ‘Cow empathize with everyone involved, and if you need some studio space or help in figuring out what to do now, welcome you to give us a call. Even if just for advice. We like podcasts, and want to see more, not less, of them all around this town. All our support goes out to The Experience, Area 52, The Sports Buzz, Big Dirty Radio, and anyone else affected by the closure.

I had occasion this week to do Atkins at a diner, alone, and found myself in a rare position, namely, silent. Minimal chit chat with the waitress, then a solid ten minutes of quiet, just waiting for food, taking pictures of food, uploading pictures of food, tweeting about food, then responding to the responses about my food, eating my food, and then leaving. Sad. I am very happy to have good friends and a great wife willing to dine out with me, cause I’d be ordering in from now on if that was how every meal went. Ross laughs at my misery, because he loves to be old man at the Denny’s pounding down books and hashbrowns like nobody’s business.

J’s newsbomb is horrfiying, per usual. Enjoy! I am still trying to get him to sign on with the idea of hosting a 24/7 webcam in his house, but he keeps referring to “quality time” and “quantity time”. Both seem to be about ribs.

Stick around and listen in at the end of the episode for a special story by Chris from Mississippi. He’s a budding writer, and I am enjoying his short stories. If any of you would like to read more, drop me a line (moo@somacow.com) and I will get right on it. Also, if anyone has a huge map of the world they would like to donate to SomaCow, I need one now to keep track of all the Chrises. Thanks!

Tags: area 52, atkins, big dirty radio, chrispy, comedy, connecticut school of broadcasting, csb, internet, newsbomb, orlando, Podcast, president, radio, somacow, talk, the experience, the sports buzz

SomaCow Media is proud to present… SomaCow!

T’was the night before Christmas, and the whole damned show
Was feeling a bit hostile. Why? I dunno.
It could be the fact that J and Ross just cannot,
Show up in our studio on time, and un-pot.

Ted.

Perhaps the malaise comes from Mickey or I’s
Inability to stop with “We quit Smoking!” lies.
Or it could be that two years ago, when started this crap,
We figured we’d be set: in luxury’s lap.

The anger has flown, from one show to the next,
To the point where JPP and TSB only send texts.
The equipment is breaking, and a mountain of trash,
Has stacked in the studio; Wait, is that hash?

It’s been a tough year for SomaCow Media, Inc.
We’ve seen a few shows flounder, falter, and then sink.
Lord knows we’ll miss the sounds of Syndown
Gay German Ass Poundery, With Super Synth Sound.

And who could forget our Dear Lunar Room?
I can’t understand why that show was doomed.
It consisted of great talk, and music, and whorin’
I really miss the gay, and Eric, and Lauren

I never got over the shock to my system
When one Friday Night, The Aftermath went missin’
It wasn’t that they quit, or were fired, per se.
They just ceased arriving mysteriouslay… eh?

Another great loss, and a bitter end, ’tis true,
Our Sister Show Say Anything, Voice of the Shrew
Came when Jen, Debe, Diana, and that puppet broad Kari
Collectively went all “Aunt Flo” (t’was scary)

Year’s been a real bitch, you betcha, yeppers
We’ve lost more members than a whole camp of lepers
Very little remains of the banner we raised
The cow is near tippin’, her eyes are a-glazed

But what of the past? I’ve never been one
To sit and pine over what’s over and done.
To 2009, and what will cure our sinking ship!
It better be good, and I hope it comes quick.

First off, We’ve brought on board a fiery new host,
Take a moment with us and give him a toast!
Prime Time Geek is the name you’ll need in your browser
The man has chops, mad knowledge, huge Bowsers.

And with a bit of SomaCow polish, grace, grease and spit
We’re grabbing one show back from the podcasting pit
Refire the barbie, and fill his mouth with some corn
We’re bringing Piggy back, ComaSow is reborn.

“Now, Geoff,” you might say, as you listen these words
“I think you might have swapped brains with a bird…
Whyever, dear man, would you keep up this charade?
I mean, seriously… When is the last time ANYONE was paid?”

I could tell you some shit, about how we do it for more
Than any of your precious shiny “dollars” afford.
How we’re fighting big media, giving ideas a voice
How we’re providing an independent and damned fine new choice.

But the reality is, as I stand with you here
I am not sure if all of us will be back next year.
Some may go on, to pastures much greener.
Some may get thrown out, if they don’t learn to operate the fucking board. I

am looking directly at you, Brian, you piece of utter shit. Do your fucking

job, stop eating on my fucking board, quit breaking shit, and stop yelling

into the fucking mic. You worthless, smarmy bastard. I wish your dad had shot

you into the carpet.

Anywhere, where was I? Oh yes, Merry Christmas.
How in the hell could I ever have missed this?
What I want to be clear, why we do what we do -
We do what we do here for… well… you.

It sure ain’t the pay, SomaCow bleeds red out her ears
Wonder if we can claim listeners as dependents this year?
But there is something I earn, each time I crack the mic
The ever growing response, what you hate, what you like.

I hear from a bonzer guy, in Australia, no doubt -
And he thinks it’s wicked, what we’re putting out.
I hear from a sweet lady, avoiding retirement
And she’s knitting my baby new attirements

We receive your emails, your phone calls, your letters
We sit in stark awe at the discussion, unfettered.
“You suck, and we love it.” “You’re right on point”
“Hey Ross, it’s your mother, can I get a joint?”

Maybe this year, we’ll land a few paying spots to air,
Lord knows, the economy is robust and prepared!
But as long as there’s will, and scratchies, and brew
And listeners like Chrispy, and Iceman, and you

I can promise you that, come success or obscurity
We’ll continue, we’ll develop, we’ll work, and we’ll see.
Perhaps one day, instead of scrabbling uphills
We might break even after paying our bills.

Until that day comes, just know we are pumped.
To have you download us, and in ear be dumped.
From unsnowing Florida, we say with eyes mistenin’
“Merry Christmas, The Heard, and thank you for listenin!”

Oh, and also. Bowlful of Jelly. Just sayin’.

Tags: Australia, board, chrispy, christmas, comasow, comedy, florida, Friday Night, health, internet, jpp, just push play, Merry Christmas, orlando, Podcast, pot, prime time geek, quit, radio, say anything, smoking, Smoking cessation, somacow, syndown, talk, the aftermath, the heard, the lunar room, the sports buzz