SomaCow

 

 SomaCow 469: A Little Bit Of Change and Quite a Bit of Hope [59:11m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Originally hopey changey’d at SomaCow.com

From Ross’s Show Notes:

Jon Cole in Studio G (castmedium.com & twitter.com/jonac13)
Geoff = Done with Valentines Day
Mickey = Rose Fever
Jamie = Pink Turtles
“Speaking of Condoms….”
Hollywoodland
Mooovie of the Week- Cold Souls
The Superman Curse…..
Brit Murph…..Dead!
Trotter Park Orlando Controversy
Return of Chope!!!
Courage Wolf
August 2010 $2 Gas

 

 SomaCow 312: Betty vs Veronica [1:03:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow brought to you by Cracker Barrel.

In this, their finest hour, they discussed food wait, what? they didn’t really discuss food all that much? hmmm. OK, well they DID discuss what they did manly this week, comics, and condoms.

J was a smartass…to a woman! You all might not know J like we do and yes, he can be a smartass but to a woman? never! Well, now he has so that was pretty manly of him. Mickey put in an a/c unit and Geoff paid for it. The best part of that story isn’t the fact that Mickey and Geoff put a new a/c unit in the Studio-G-to-be, but what Mickey found in the a/c unit!

Speaking of women, which is the better woman (long term), Betty or Veronica? The guys seemed to think Betty was better wife material and then Geoff called me his Betty, aw.

Because of the great conversation on comic women, Geoff decided to let Mickey do the book review this week, of Batman. Well, maybe Geoff needed him to do the book review. But I believe I can promise you that tonight’s live episode should have Geoff’s weekly constitutional back considering the number of read books I cleared out of the bathroom this week!

Men don’t really like condoms do they? Do they expect us to wear those nasty female ones? Yeah, right! I’d like to trust that thing! I guess I understand it dulls the sensation but don’t they want it to last longer anyway? Come on guys, protect your women! Or at least bring a certified account of the cleanliness of your manness to bed with you.

Did you know Cracker Barrel has audio books for rental? You would if you enjoyed the goodness that is Cracker Barrel as much as we do. I never went to Cracker Barrel except for on trips. That was the place you went when you were out on the road. But now that we have one so close by, man that’s some good home cooking!

Congratulations to Elross for actually getting a trivia answer before the chatroom! I think I gave him his points for that…

And happy birthday to J! Today (Friday) is his birthday and tonight we’ll be chastising him, talking over him, and firing him live on the air!

Disney World, Universal Studios Islands of Adventure and MGM Studios just ain’t gonna cut it anymore.

With gas prices soaring to over $22.00 per gallon, Florida is going to have to come up with something new and different this summer if they expect to remain “Tourist Rip-off Capital of the World”.

Fortunately, Florida…I’m there for ya, bro.

I’ve devised a series of theme parks that offer something for every member of the family. Something new. Something fun. Something expensive. Something that you will take pictures of, to put on your MySpace pages.

Li’l Rollers Casino

Kids will be kids, and now, they can also be kids with serious gambling addictions!
Recharge the HandyCam, Dad, your little man just went craps! Children love winning a bet as much as grown-ups do, so they will enjoy hours of playtime fun at our “Will This Fit Up Your Nose?” booths (located near the Nickel Snot Machines), our Texas Poop’em tables, and in the exciting “Will Mommy and Daddy Get a Divorce as a Result of This Vacation?” stations. And, while junior and little Cyndy are enthralled by all the brightly-colored plastic chips they have eaten, Mommy and Daddy can enjoy some Baccarat (which I believe is a delicious Greek dessert) in the “Migraine Lounge”.

Parents’ Paradise
Parents today have driven cross-country with the kids, gone on cruises with the kids, chased the kids around day spas, yelled at the kids across sugar-white tropical beaches and ridden thrill-rides with the kids until the kids throw up or Daddy has to tighten up his truss. Finally, there is a place that knows just what Mom and Dad need. “We know just what Mom and Dad need!” is the slogan of this all-inclusive resort for parents. While the kiddies are being tended by caring nurturers, who are themselves being supervised by law enforcement personnel, who are overseen by actual, sexually frustrated nuns, parents can get exactly what they’ve always wanted! Dad can choose to actually watch an entire ballgame from start to finish, in the luxuriously appointed “Den”; take a lengthy, relaxing poop without anyone knocking on the door asking “Ummm… is… ummm… Dad?… ummm… is… ummm… Dad?… ummm… is the kitchen sink spraying water on the ceiling because of the Pokemon I stuck in the faucet?” at our various “Throne Rooms”, or even enjoy a game of cards with no little-people throwing up on people’s shoes under the card table.

Mom? We haven’t forgotten about you! Imagine the luxury of making a ONE-HOUR-LONG phone call to your best Ya-Ya girlfriend…completely uninterrupted! Or, how about eating ice cream and watching “Sex and the City” without having to wipe anybody’s nose or bottom! Or, for the daring, try one of our special Bath Houses, where you will be allowed to…TAKE A BATH! A LONG ONE! WITH CANDLES IF YOU WANT!

Finally, Mom and Dad can end a day of excitement in one of our soundproof, triple-locked “Happy Time” rooms, with unlimited free condoms, spermicidal foam and IUDs from the fully stocked mini-bar.

Senior Pavilion
“Support-Undergarment Junction”, “The Bran Depot” and bingo, 24-7. ‘Nuff said.

So, join us this summer, won’t you, in sunny, carefree Florida, where our motto is:
“We won’t charge you a penny more, if we can charge you $75.00 more and get away with it.”