SomaCow Media Inc. is proud to present SomaCow. This week brought to you by any other moving company besides Apartment Movers.
(There will be a picture later. I am having network issues at the facility and if it wasn’t for that horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.)
—Okay… fixed the network, fixed the A/C, fixed the other issues… so here is the Album cover for Episode 241:
In case you are wondering, that is a plate of Bacon. Juicy, crispy (not Chris-P), tender, delicious, tough, hot, juicy, meaty, crunchy… just like grandma… except the delicious part. And the juicy part. And the other juicy part.
The chick and I moved across town this week. Again. Since we have been dating, this marks the seventh move (together or separate) that we have done.
“Pourquoi?” you may ask. I’d probably respond with something that seemed funny at the time, but in retrospect I shouldn’t have said it… like… “Ain’t gots no quois, but I can pour you a tequila… kyooo kyooo”. Then I’d feel dumb and awkward because you didn’t catch the joke, and the joke wasn’t worth the time to eplain it or repeat it.
Then you’d as, “No, but why have you moved so much. Seems excessive and wasteful.”
Ok… here’s a run down.
1) Breakup with live in ex
2) Apartments went condo
3) Chef Scott secured a sweet pad downtown.
4) Stepping up to cohabitation (aka living in sin)
5) Chef Scott secured a sweet house with a pool
6) Chef Scott moves out.
7) 20 hours a week, and countless gallons of gas wasted traveling to work.
So, we moved. We called Apartment Movers. Actually we called (The Chick) almost every moving company in the book. There are 2 ways to move. Hourly rate or Point System. Hourly Rate is where they show up and the clock starts. The clock ends when the last dollies are on the truck and the truck door is closed. They also add on some travel time.
The point system is where one box (regardless of size) is one point. One point costs about 4 bucks. Ten boxes, forty bucks. Couches are about five points. Pianos are ten. The Chick estimated that she had about 120 points worth of stuff to move.
The movers were late. They were pissy, and they didn’t want to move our shit. On top of that, The Chick had a slight underestimation. We actually have about 2,987 points worth of stuff to move. My office came it at about 7 points. The rest of the stuff is hers. (She will not survive the apacalypse too well.)
The lady that took the estimate wasn’t that bright. On top of everything else, she told us (The Chick) that it was cash only. Any business that is “Cash Only” is a sleazy, “something ain’t right” style endeavor.
When the head pissy mover started huffing and bitching about the overage, we (The Chick) told him to keep going. And then The Chick bolted because the cable guy was coming to the new place.
Did I mention the movers were late. Like, an hour and a half late. They gave a window of 2pm to 4pm, and they showed up at a quarter to six. That will fuck up your day. That is an entire down and back, pack and unpack trip.
Eventually we ran out of dollar bills, and the movers stopped loading boxes. Boxen? Boxii? Sheep? THey headed over and bitched the whole time. Not outright angry redneck girl bitching. It was more like the pissed off waitress who still wants a good tip style of bitchiness. You could actually hear the guy biting his lip.
The Chick owns some heavy shit. She has 14 crates of books. That was after the big cut back/book burning barbecue we had this year to trim back her collection. She has a solid gold couch. Everything she owns is lead lined… or seems to be.
Long story short cause I need to run… Apartment Movers suck. Jen and Geoff are wonderful friends. We need to unpack.
And we talked about Bacon in this episode. A Lot.
Added bonus: LINKS. Not Sausage links, just internet links.
- I Hate Moving
- Nightmares in Moving
- I Love Bacon!
- Bacon + Mayonnaise = Baconnaise (And Heart Disease!)
- Making Bacon Brownies
- I Heart Bacon T-Shirt from No Star Clothing
- “We’re bacon people.” “Does Obama eat bacon?” “He will eat the bacon.”
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