Posts Tagged “dead”

When we last talked, I was preparing for my Diabetes Education.

After the phone call today, talking with the people at Florida Hospital Diabetes Care, no part of me can now feel that Health Care needs no reform. That’s a convoluted series of double negative twaddle. Allow me to elucidate.

We. Need. New. Health. Care.

I was informed that my “class” was not covered under any existing fees or deductibles previously paid, and I would need to pay $513.00 for the twelve hour course.

Five HUNDRED dollars? That’s enough money to buy Trigonometry and Calculus at UCF. That is enough money to learn to bartend, two and a half times! That is enough money to buy 360 something chicken sandwiches (Mondays and Thursdays, Only)!

So, how BADLY do I not want to die? I was willing just a half a year ago to spend 5 to 10 dollars a day for the pleasure of smoking, killing myself at $500 dollars every couple of months.

But the devil on my left shoulder patiently says, “Dude. The internet. Seriously. It’s got a bunch of words on it, and some of those words are about diabetes.”

If I lived in some remote Nanookian Village, there would be no class. I would be forced to learn by mail, or phone.

Man, I should offer diabetes classes via my studio. Stream information to the masses! I would totally do that.

But first I need to get informed. I know a lot, but I need to know everything there is to know about my disease.

Some of you are looking at me, shaking your head. You are saying, “Geoff, you need to pay the money and take the class.”

I have a hard time doing that, guys. It has a lot to do with the people on the phone. The people who say things like, “We don’t got no weekend classes in Altamonte.”

I am justifying my case, but only because I believe my case is justified. I am trying to fully extract this family from credit card debt, buy healthy food, maintain two cars, maintain This Old House, and keep Nurse Lush in her white wine. I am hard pressed to dump half a grand on a workshop when I know the actual information is no secret.

So, what do you think? Should I learn on my own? I would be willing to let you craft the test to prove I know it.

Or should I dip us deeper into debt, so this shell game douchebag money machine can work over yet another sugar baby?

By the way, United Healthcare… Why do you want me dead so much?

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icon for podpress  SomaCow 205: WTF is WTF? [1:04:27m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow brought to you by Redboy Podcast.

Hi everyone! It’s me, Jen. I’m filling in for Geoff while he nurses the baby, er, I mean, sleeps

Do you miss me? You know, you can always come chat with me while I listen to SomaCow on Ustream, and also of course for Say… Anything. I know I miss my notetaking! I am going to do my best to let you know about this hour using Ross’s cryptic notes.

From the first three lines I can surmise that John Edwards had sex, Bernie Mac died, and the boys have a death wish on another comedian??

Then it says Budweiser is greater than divided by 3. Now I love math, but this formula has had me scratching my head so much the dogs are bringing me the Advantage! This led into “beer talk”. I do remember this from the live show…Kostritzer is teh yummy…

The next line says either WW IIII or WW VII but I think those are both wrong? No clue.

But opposite of war is peace, like the Olympics! The opener was supposed to be grand, and the guys want Bob Costas to get ‘STUF’fed? Do they think he’s too skinny?

Mickey peed in the Navy. OK, I really don’t understand how this is noteworthy! Unless he literally peed IN the Navy…but what does that even mean?

And the last note on the page is that Mickey was stranded at Burger King without paper. I guess Mickey likes taking notes, too?

Well, I know that reading these notes and trying to give them back to you, dear Heard, does not do the hour justice because when listening live from 1-2 PM Eastern last Saturday, it flew by and was quite entertaining. So take a listen, and maybe you can help me decipher these notes. We’ll call it a SomaCow mystery.

What wasn’t a mystery was the music this week!

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