SomaCow

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I felt good this week, partly because the weather has been gorgeous, and mostly because I got a haircut. First paid for haircut in 3 or 4 years, second in 10 years. A man CAN cut his own hair, but he really shouldn’t (ask Mickey). Just hope you do not hear what I did, cause it destroys a small part of your manhood.

In this hour of SomaCow, we discussed the impending economic crisis. Take a moment to check out this guy’s blog (Audio music will play when this blog loads) for some backstory, as we pretty much ran with his list. Fact-checking, it’s what we are about. And yes, I am retarded, because in the episode I said, “Everything tastes better with a 9 mm bullet”, and the last word should be chaser. Blame it on my mom, cause she drank when she was pregnant.

And J makes his trium(ele)phant return to the show…. and he is… SKINNIER???

It’s a fact! J is down 30+ lbs, and well on his way to living to see episode 200! We’re all very proud of him, and welcome you to congratulate his success!

Check out his News Bomb at the :40, and jam out to the following awesome bands played in this hour:

• Weedy Factory – Did It for the Money
• The Downshifters – Money
• Notorious MSG -Straight Out Of Canton (Iron Wok Remix)

Tags: buzz, comedy, downshifters, economy, everything tastes better, factory, haircut, independant, independent, internet, j, man, manhood, msg, music, neusbaum, newsbomb, notorious, notorious msg, orlando, Podcast, radio, shave, skinner, somacow, talk, ustream, ustream.tv, weedy, weedy factory

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you today by ESPN radio. Please check out Ryan of zoos and museums. In Orlando, we have a significant dearth of these establishments, and it seems that any amount of funding is spotty, and usually pays just enough to renovate the establishment to a two decade old standard of presenting. I expect that is what any transient town that comes to a complete standstill whenever a penny sales tax is discussed should expect.

We talk about the possibility of charging extra to tourists for gasoline, in addition to the bed taxes we already gouge them for. If we are going to develop into a city, it has to be more than just one company’s attraction that supports us. You never know when some incredibly devout religious types might try to mix things up, and it would be good to have a system of high tech, low waste producing jobs at our fingertips… At least, more than the call centers at Convergys and AAA have given us ($7.00 an hour, w00t!!).

We discussed the possibility of developing a nerf theme park, but went soft when it got down to the nuts and bolts of the plan.

We also discussed over-reactive cops, and the anger that they are somehow allowed to have. I want you to think about the guy that strove to be hall monitor, or kickball team captain, when you were a child. That asshole was on and on about the stupidest shit, all day long, and all he ever wanted was to have a tiny bit of control, in the form of a whistle, or a stupid fluorescent sash with some fake badge, just to prove he was in authority and lord it over everyone. That little prick, it turns out, invariably grows up to be a cop, and we’re tired of it. Look, pigs. I watched SuperBad. I know what you are doing. You drive through stop lights, race around rush hour, and generally pull 7 and a half hours of dick moves every day on your shift. Yeah, you might pull one guy out of a burning car, or stop one bad guy midrape, but these are rarities, and the majority of your job is sitting, half-hidden, giving out exorbitant tickets for meaningless infractions and generally hassling the public. We’re on to you, and I am ready to arm this city with enough camcorders to keep an eye on you. Dirty Birdies.

Oh, and God, it seems, is packing. Not heat, but meat.

We toasted our wieners on the flames of the following great musics:

Sean Fournier – Paper Tiger
The Downshifters – Outlaw Bliss
Amber Pacific – Summer (In B)

(Buy and Amber Pacific T-shirt… or just gawk at the model)

Tags: aaa, alternative, angry, bad, buzz, call, camcorders, centers, convergys, cops, downshifters, espn, fournier, independant, independent, internet, museum, nerf, orlando, overreactive, park, Podcast, radio, sean, sports, super, theme, tourist, zoo