SomaCow

So, in the course of my duties to the show, I am working to listen to the thousands of minutes of SomaCow we have done thus far…

Man, we are some funny freaking sons of bitches. I totally just called Mickey and J’s moms a dirty name.

Got an email from a listener, Oliver, who is currently doing some time down here in a Florida Prison for a crime he did not commit. Rather than sitting idle in prison, though, he is hard at work, listening to SomaCow and working on his art skills. Here is an image he fabricated, per our request, of the studio:

The attention to detail here is staggering. Note J’s redneck influence and generally ruddy complexion. This. Is. SomaCow. Indeed.

Thanks, Oliver. Please know our thoughts and prayers are with you as you seek appeal against an unjust system that incarcerated you against your will.

Tags: are, episode, fuck, giant, neck, Oliver, or, orb, prison, redneck, swollen, the, those, ties, what, zippers

SomaCow Media Network, Inc. presents this, our 99th episode of SomaCow brought to you by The Lunar Room.

So what’s in Mickey’s envelope? What in the world could he have written down? Put your guesses here before Sunday at 1 PM Eastern as he will be doing his reveal at that time during SomaCow’s special 2 hour 100th episode!

You can listen live from 1-5 PM Eastern this Sunday, December 9th. Join us and The Heard in the chat room for all of the fun.

Also, if there are any of your favorite songs that we have played in the past 99 episodes that you would like to hear in episode 100 please leave it here.

Those would include these great ones:

• Spitalfield – Lasting First Impression
• Swingin’ Utters – 5 Lessons Learned

Tags: 99, alternative, comedy, envelope, episode, heard, independent, internet, magic, mickey, music, orlando, Podcast, radio, spitalfield, swingin, utters

We congratulate you, as a person of taste, class, and sophistication. We hope you will put that all aside and enjoy the wonder of our new show, Somacow.

We began this venture under a different name, and with a different cast, in a different studio. Lots of adversity has befallen us, including one of our show members winning the lottery and going on to build custom choppers in the Caymans and not answering our phone calls. The changes we have undergone have forged us anew, and we stand now ready to provide you, our listeners, with a wealth of phenomenal internet radio the likes of which have never been heard.

Well, right after we get through this first episode. It was like losing our show virginity again, with Mickey and I stumbling over each other’s cues, flailing away at the following topics:

Mickey has anger issues that often lead to tantrum fits. I consoled him, but I think what I said just enraged him further. He is an angry, angry co-host, and I fear him. I am terrified that he will show me what “The Penis Thing” is, and I simply do not feel the show can survive such an incident.

Copyrighting, in general, is a good thing, but many organizations are abusing their trademarks, causing creativity to become stifled and capitalism to fail. We give a few specifics, and encourage you folks to check out all those Star Wars Parodies. Some of them, especially Troops, slay us.

One of the biggest problems we faced with the show rename was that it is impossible to develop a name these days, seeing as most every letter series is now owned by some upstart company in TwoHams, Idaho. Seriously… Copper Pig media? Steel Rabbits Amalgamated? SynCorn? MADNESS. We selected SomaCow Media, and trademarked the ass out of that. So, please, if you use the name, send us some cheddar. better to be a landowner than a squatter, or something.

We touched on the tragedy up north, but I am not entirely sure we got all the facts right. Lots of people were yelling at us in the chat room, stating that we were mixing up the facts and making a mockery of the situation. This was not our intention, and we welcome folks to set us straight on what went down that fateful night in Ohio.

Featured during the show this episode we had some great music! Check out these bands:

* Fabs – Surfing Safari
* Luck and Trouble – One Hit Blunder
* Cobra Starship – Bring It
* Hot One – Pistol Whip Me
* The Sleeping – Loud and Clear

We wrapped up with the Alec Baldwin Incident, and Mickey refreshed me on parenting. Poor Alec, so hated, and so misunderstood by the world. We know the level of anger a harpy-like ex and her Salacious Crumb Demon Pawn Offspring can drive a man to, and we… well, I, stand by you now in your time of pain. All divorces make men insane.

Please feed us back on what you thought of this episode. We’ll see you on Wednesday with Episode 2!

Tags: alec, baldwin, cobra, copyright, copywriting, cow, episode, fabs, first, hot, internet, little, luck, one, orlando, phat, phoenix, pig, Podcast, radio, rude, show, sleeping, soma, starship, the, the syndicate, trouble