Posts Tagged “eve”Originally dying with anticipation at http://somacow.com
Jeff Carson & SoundGuy Live In Studio Poster by Jeff Peak at PeakArts.com Tags: comedy, cure for the run, eve, internet, josh carson, live music, orlando, Podcast, radio, somacow, soundguy, talkSomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this hour by Guinness. Ah, the majesty that is St. Augustine, Florida. Surely divine providence was in play when this noble town sprang forth from the yielding bosom of a fort known as Castillo de San Marcos (Literally, “Castle of Sand and Water Sports That Most Kids Cheat At”). We toured the Fort during the morning, which is the best time to stand stoically amidst the parapets and gaze upon the overweight and under entertained masses yearning to breathe air free from horsey poops.
As we approached, I was struck with awe and some shock to discover that the fort had never once fallen in battle, a feat made all the more amazing by the fact that it was defended by Spaniards that were apparently too short to mount the cannons high enough to fire over the wall. Luckily, the walls are crafted of a magical substance known as “Coquina”, which looks like some shelly concrete and apparently is capable of taking straight cannonballs to the balls all day with nary a complaint. Perhaps the Spanish could have avoided the upcoming shame of having their entire armada defeated by “Protestant Wind” by making their ships out of this stuff. So, yeah, the fort is neat, and HAUNTED. Oogita Boogita, folks, I shit you not. Witness the strange “Golden Lights of El Dorado”, which cascade the prison bars/cheery windows/blessed aperture/ of this stable/mess hall/church:
If you are lucky enough to be touring the fort on any day we didn’t, at any time we didn’t, you apparently can thrill to the ritualistic shooting of a cannon sound effect, which is brought about by stout, hardy folk who go the extra length to keep the period illusion up. No bones about it, these guys toil in myriad ways to ensure that tourists are treated to a real sense of what things were like, “way back then”.
Tasty. So, I told about my exploits, and Mickey informed me that he has never set foot out of Orlando in all the time he has been here. Imagine the sadness of such a life… Mickey has never experienced the soul-enriching experience of Dinosaur World, or Cypress Gardens, or Fuddruckers, or Yeehaw Junction, or any of the other glorious sand traps that make this mighty state dangle proud off the backside of America. J, apparently, was too winded to comment. Although his skin did seem to crawl when I suggested we all live together and grow fruits. PSA – Do not sleep to Discovery Health Channel, or, as I like to call it, the freak show tent channel. Holy crap, people… Try sleeping dreaming you are a 900 lb. dwarf half of a conjoined twin, fused at the throat with a hypertensive tumor named “Jasmine”… Just use the sleep timer or something, for crying out loud. No one needs that in their subconscious. Mickey and J helped me understand that I had the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire all wrong… What I had been singing was way off, apparently: “Starkweather, homicide, children of the little mind”… Who knew thalidomide was even a drug? When my mom felt preggo-antsy, she just fired up some good weed and had a few glasses of chardonnay and sallied forth. Weird. And then Mickey started talking about Kiss. I am not sure what the hell he was driving at, but the boy needs help. So, I had a good week, and hope you did as well! Please feel free to tell me tales of your own exploits in St. Augustine, or any other Florida Rest Stop you may frequent! And a special Moo thanks to our friends Cassie and Jacki for this awesome homage shot during New Years Eve. Send us your creative pics! We started the following fires in this episode: Duenow – Sex & Guns |
|
|
Powered by WordPress, Mandigo theme by tom.
Entries (RSS)
and Comments (RSS).
