Huntington Girl
Facebook regrouping
Newsbomb
Ghostbusters remake
Rub your tits
Do you compare penis size
Urinals
Toilet termites
Spit

Crabocalypse
Whore Friends
Bakugan
Rice Cakes
Mini-Gnomes
Gay Bashing
Facebook Eats the World
Orlando Smiley Face
J Loses $500
Kid Books
Chico Shorts
Drunk Puking

Happy Birthday, Pollo Rojo!
Mobiles
Movie Chat
Facebook & Old People
Food Stations
Tortilla Debate
J Does Sight Gags
Dippin’
Back to Back to the Future
Bieber!!!! (I’m sure Ross didn’t mean to put that many exclamation marks after that without a wink or something)

YouTube Heat
Facebook: The Flick
You’re FIRED!!!
FLOOD!!!
Football Church
Paris Highlton
K Town
PSP Games
Japanese Breakfast
Downtown
Life Begins @ ?
CFTR Dot Com

YouTube comments and commenters
Hitler Parodies No More?
How far can you go with other people’s work?
Is Facebook over?
Geocaching the next new thing?
Jamie is a Halo yeller
Scrabble’s changing the rules
Jughead is Gay?
Genocide talk, whee!

Moovie of the Week Review The Vanishing 3/5
Director’s Cut
Moovie of the Week: Year One
Drug Movie Breakdown
Deland vs Lakeland (lose/lose)
Sci-Fi City
D & D Chat
D 3 Dilemma
Facebook Robbery
Does Geoff has Asperger’s?
Fromunda Cheese vs Nut Butter vs Taintynaise
Drinks with NOFX
Counterculture for Sale
WSJ Online for Sale
News on the Web

Garth Brooks

Miley Cyrus

God vs Satan

Run to Cuba

Scarfacebook

Geoff in Jail

Nerf Wife

“Too Drunk to Take Notes at this point….I reckon”

Editor’s note: yes, we all got in the Christmas spirit(s) during our live Friday (Christmas day) show. So while you listen, just remember this was the 3rd hour of drinks and celebration abounding. Happy Holidays!

In this, their finest hour, the guys talked about food, the internet, and TV… It’s much more than it sounds, trust me.

It’s that time of year again, kids go back to school, seasonal places start shutting down, and Geoff goes out of town a lot.

It’s usually good work, him being out of town. It just is hard being in a new place. At first glance, it looks like your choices for food are Taco Bell, Some Fancy Shmancy joint, and another Taco Bell. Even with the apps used between the two iPhones on the trip, it’s not always easy to find a good place to eat.

But leave it to Geoff to be resourceful and find some damn good food when he was out of town! If you don’t already, follow his twitter so you can make sure and not miss out on the many pics from his trips. This time he found a seafood looking sailboat and wood plank filled diner that served an awesome looking breakfast. And for dinner, he found a Cuban place that sold Ox Tail! He got it, of course. I was instantly curious, morbidly so, but could not find a local place that serves this. Gotta get his resources!

So has your mom joined facebook? Mine has. So far it’s been ok but I don’t think about her being on there and who knows what I might say one day. She found out Rowan took her first steps on FB, oops. Then again, I don’t have to email her pics separately anymore at least.

And finally, a sad farewell to a beloved show, Reading Rainbow. They have not kept the contract for the upcoming year. I did find out, though, that we have 2 PBS stations while looking for Reading Rainbow here.

But the real issue for me was when I saw them say that the focus is no longer on getting kids to enjoy to read but just how to read. Why can’t we do both? Seriously, all great to know how to read but if you don’t love it you’ll never use it! Whereas if you LOVE to read, you’ll figure out how sooner or later! And maybe it is time for a new show but to hear that the “focus” for children’s TV has switched? Not enlarged, not encompassed, but switched? I mean we have 80 bajillion channels, hell I have 2 PBS stations not including the Noggins or whatever they are! I think there’s room for both in our lives.

Hey! We’re done with the run. Look up there ^. See that? That is a podcast. Press the play button, and listen. It’s that easy.

In this hour, we discussed J’s sudden utilization of 20th century technology, we talked up a good man segment, and we took a call from Carter, who has a cool deal going on over on his blog.

If you were doing it, where would you go, and why?

I’d have to hit it up as a food tour. New York for Bagels, Philly for Cheesesteaks, Tennessee for Whiskey, Charleston for Tide Food, Bawston for Seafood, Alaska for Crabfood, Vegas for Buffets, San Fran for Takeout, St Louis for Barbecue, Georgia for Barbecue, Texas for… Nevermind, I would never willingly set foot in that godforsaken mess. The point is, I am envious of Carter, for seeing an opportunity, and running with it. I hope he has a hell of a time, and gets some good talk fodder. Maybe we can look forward to some updates over the next few weeks.

Meantime, J is terrifying us all. He has a phone that can access email, he posted on Twitter, he has a Facebook, and I can only say that this must signify  that all of those mediums are as dead as disco. Shame, I was enjoying Twitter, at least.

We’re happy to be back to what we love, talking with you. Feel free to swing by our forums, and check out the studio build as it plugs along! I need to go pick out some carpet. Thanks!

So it’s no secret by now, but if you missed the video of our own Mickey and Ross invading PTG’s karaoke night with their… rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart, then hie you hence hereabouts and watch it up, won’t you?

I am home with a sick little one tonight, the miasma of baby toss and baby wind surrounds me. I decided to catch up on some TV, but after watching Colony, all I have left is More to Love. Nasty, nasty, nasty.

In this hour, we discussed Beards, Waitress Flirting, Karaoke Rules, and Scams.

I saw on the news that teens do not use twitter anymore, nor facebook, nor myspace. My only question is, “Where did they all go?” So we can find out and go make that place lame, too.

I am supposed to be at a Tea Tasting Party right now. I sure hope I can make the next one. I was hoping I could use it for my man segment this week on the show. There is nothing more manly than a two cubed Ploughman’s with an assortment of fragrant and fragile scones with clotted cream.

This blog is somewhat disjointed, because I keep looking up at More to Love. They are ALWAYS EATING. The guy is such a douchrhetoric spewing machine.

I still have not shaved. Need to before tomorrow, cause we is gonna be on TeeVee! YEE H A W !

We had peaches this week from EricathePimp. They were pretty damned tasty.

You know how you have all these bones in your foot, called metatarsels and tarsels and tartar sauce and what not? In my big left toe, after the second to last joint, I have no bone. Just powder. I crushed it walking my Siberian Husky, Isis. Lifted my leg to step over a concrete tire-stop in a parking lot whilst barefoot. BLAMMO. The podiatrist said, “That’s the weirdest thing. You have no bone.”

I have mad bone.

I really hope Mister32 did his manchallenge this week.

Now these fat women are saying “He is my soulmate!” The guy is a fat REAL ESTATE DEVELOPER. No developer has a soul. Silly fat women.

Gotta go, baby is making Linda Blair noises again. All my love!
Oh, and it means “Turn Around, Bright Eyes”. It’s episode 360, duh!

(Just kiddin’, guys, I only put that up there because I figured your wives were reading over your shoulders right now. At this point, though, I think it’s safe to assume that she is off attending to some important cleaning behind the refrigerator, or ordering ridiculously expensive “window treatments” (what you and I call “bed sheets”), so we can now talk openly.)

Don’t get me wrong, I love women, but there is a sure-fire indicator that a wife has driven her husband totally nuts: he starts sentences by saying “Don’t get me wrong, I love women, but…”

As far as I can tell, there are only two problems with marriage:

1. There are too many women involved.
2. Those women are reluctant to wear the sexy Little Bo Peep costume that you rented from “Whores D’Oeuvres”.

Mickey seems to have a big problem with the fact that wives can become ex-wives, at which point it costs you half of your hard-earned money. But when you consider that women make up over half of the work force, half of every penny that you currently earn and spend goes straight to them anyway. The women then spend that money on purchases from diet and fitness infomercials featuring Suzanne Somers. The difference appears to be that when you hand your money to a cashier (or waitress, or stripper), you get satisfying goods and/or services in return; whereas, when you hand your money to your ex-wife, you get stories about how her new boyfriend Todd managed to convince her finally to try anal sex, and now she can’t get enough of it.

As far as grounds for divorce goes, Florida appropriately treats it like car insurance: we’re a no-fault state. We should thank God for this, guys, because, in other states, your wife can divorce you for using the ice dispenser while Grey’s Anatomy is on, or for not refilling the potpourri containers in a timely manner. In those states, YOU, an innocent bystander in your marriage, can have the blame placed squarely on your shoulders for not seeing mediocre, quarterly sex as sufficient motive to get out of bed at 3am to check the house, because your wife dreamed that lawn maintenance workers had invaded the living room and were putting their muddy feet up on the chaise lounge while smoking cigars with no ashtrays.

Mickey’s vision also contains a crapload of paperwork. I hate paperwork more than you will someday hate Todd.
I went paperless in 1998 and, apart from some bathroom scenarios that I’m still working on, it has been smooth sailing ever since.
My solution is simple: don’t get married by a minister with a bible, get married by a judge with a video camera. This way, if there is ever any question about what the expectations were going in, you can just call up the judge and say “Your Honor, did she or did she not agree that it is perfectly allowable for me to throw my boxer-briefs NEAR the hamper, not necessarily IN the hamper?”
Case closed.

My best advice to you guys is to wait before getting married. This means two things: you should wait until later in life, when your schedule is not so much driven by which Playstation games were released that week; and that ,you should wait until later in your relationship with a woman before deciding to get married. Remember, every day that you are with her and DON’T get married is another day that you have at least a CHANCE of saying or doing something right for once; a day that you have at least a CHANCE to convince her that a threesome with the hot, busty receptionist at her office would really be a treat for HER; a day that you have at least a CHANCE of discovering a reason that you two should go ahead and break up now, while it’s still free.

I’m going to let you guys figure out the rest on your own. I’ll be over here hacking Todd’s Facebook to make fictitious posts saying how much he likes little boys. And lawn maintenance workers.

Yes, J, sorry, but it’s me. No witty Geoff here, but somone has to write the blog and since you aren’t, I am.

Speaking of J, it seems like Brian (tits mcgee) from Just Push Play is the new J…at least in the firing department. He was fired again, I think. I guess we’ll see Monday when JPP does their live show!

Mickey says he’s drinking again, but Geoff won’t believe it until it’s on Facebook. After all, nothing is true until it’s on Facebook!

So this isn’t an official vote but we’ll take nominations (by commenting on my awesome blog!) but who is the best listener? Someone who comments here? someone who listens live every Friday? someone who downloads every podcast? someone who downloads each podcast more than once?? Who would you nominate? (you can nominate yourself, it’s ok)

And in sad news, our first photo hung in the studio is one of Bettie Page on the beach. Beautiful photograph. We wish her happiness in the realm after life as she passed away this weekend.

We’d also like to thank The Redboy Podcast for our care package! We got some awesome Podcasting shirts (but the largest is 2XL…maybe the cameras slim??) and a coffee mug and some magnets and pens and chip clips. Awesome stuff from Redboy and The Copy Shop. Check out the show and their shop! Let’s support fellow podcasters and their endeavors.

Speaking of which, anyone need any work done from  home? I am a great typist, editor (these blogs withstanding, I do them for free and usually with a baby on me so slack granted), whatever I can do for you! yeah, I’m totally asking here…you never know! If you need someone to do something for you/your business (not just anything, I do have SOME lines!) please email me, Jen, at jen@sayanythingradio.com thanks!

And thank you all to listening to SomaCow and all of the SomaCow Media shows! Please tell a friend, or two!

So, I went shopping at Aldi. W E I R D. I will discuss on the show what happened while we were there, suffice it to say I pissed off a stranger, had people clap (no, not that kind of clap), and found… The Strangest Foodstuff Ever.

Have I ever told you people how to follow us? Simple, really.

– Mickey

- Geoff

- Presumably, J

- Ross

- Jen (who actually writes half these blogs)

There are also our various Facebooks, MySpaci, and lord knows how many email methods. The point is, keep in touch, yo. I know a lot of you folks get down come the Holiday Season, and we here at SomaCow simply want to make sure you know we are here. For you. Should you need us. Yeah. Should you need us.

I gotta go sing real slow.

Hey! First email to geoff@somacow.com telling me what is missing in this episode wins a prize!

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow brought to you by insert your show name here.

In this, their finest hour, the boys put out the call, talked about quitting smoking, and did some impersonations. Fine, indeed!

So SomaCow is ready to expand. No, not our bellies, but our catalog of shows! Right now we have, of course, SomaCow. We also have The Sports Buzz, Just Push Play (whenever they aren’t at a convention), and Say… Anything (when they aren’t getting new jobs, having babies, moving…). So while we have a nice little variety of shows, we want to get more. We all know you have stuff to say, you definitely let us know here, live on Saturdays in chat, on Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and email! So what kind of show would you do? Would it be just you? Advice? Music? Chat on your favorite hobby? Let us know, become part of our family.

After this call out, Ross decided he wants to do a show so be sure to tune in this week as the guys give him a chance at hosting!

Of course what would 3rd hour be without… you guessed it… Hulk Impersonations! Now was it The Incredible Hulk? Or the other incredible Hulk Hogan. Guess you’ll have to listen and see.

Geoff is trying to quit smoking. I am really so proud of him. I know that he is trying to be healthier for himself, me, and Rowan. I really know he was willing to try anything when he agreed to try out a laser clinic

While it might not have worked completely, I do have to say that that first day he was very pleasant! (even if he was sleeping away most of it). So what methods have you tried to quit smoking? What have worked? What have failed? We know very few people who have actually successfully quit. My dad is one of them. He just stopped one day. He didn’t tell anyone, he just stopped. He had smoked for 40 or so years and poof, gone. He is also the only honest one I have known who said he still wants one every day and he’s not smoked for over 10 years. I quit… I got pregnant though and while it was physically tough, the emotional side and elation of being pregnant made it pretty easy in comparison. I think I’d go back if it wasn’t for her and us nursing but I hope that I don’t go back when we stop… guess we’ll just have to get pregnant again!

Geoff’s Weekly Constitutional this week was on John Hodgman’s new book, More Information Than You Require… which you can get here! And while you are there, check out John’s site. Fascinating stuff. We love this man! And his books are great, from cover to back cover, to back cover inset to front cover inset to back of the actual hard cover of the book and all the pages in between.

Thank you all for being such great listeners, I know the guys appreciate it. Keep those comments and emails coming. We all love doing what we do and we love to hear how much you love what we do!

Stuff to pass the time until the next episode of SomaCow:

• The PC guy on love and space aliens
• Tila Tequila switches from Yahoo spawn to Mac guy [Celebritards]
• Barack Obama: New US President…Digitally !!
• What am I Missy?
• A Visit To The Marvel Comics Headquarters

A little back story.  A few months ago, my best friend was in the hospital.  He wasn’t sick.  He was (physically) doing fine.  He was there for the birth of my goddaughter.  Actually he was at the birthing center, and then ended up at the hospital.  His wife, one of my best friends, was on death’s door.  There were complications, but like a trooper, she pulled through.

On that day, we were confronted by the universal flow of karmic spirituality of the nature of man… or whatever the hell kind of mumbo jumbo in which you have a belief.  A voice inside me said, “Mickey, the universe is like a fat girl in a rocking chair.  She goes back and forth and creeks a lot… with her chubby cleavage hanging out everywhere, but she always ends up right side up.”  I said, “You know voice, that makes absolutely no fucking sense what-so-ever, and Chubby-girls-in-rocking chairs is a blatant ripoff of fat-girls-in-party-hats (dot com).”

But, it made me think.  Every action has an opposite and equal reaction.  On that day, we were assaulted by the media.  They were blasting away telling us that gas would rise in price.  The gas did rise in price, but the major cause was the pure speculation that gas would go up in price.  We (J and I, joined by The Chick That I Am Dating) decided to fight back.

We pronounced and announced on that day that we would start a rumor.  A rumor to help drive gas prices down.  A rumor that called out to the world saying, “I heard a rumor that gas would be one dollar a gallon by March of 2009″.

People around the globe joined the battle.  Ross, took up the cause and spread the rumor around the airwaves.  Reports from all over, Chinamen, Singaporians, People of Canadia, West Uzbekistanians, and even Iranistanians were yelling from rooftops that they heard a rumor that gas would be one dollar per gallon by March of 2009.

For the first time in eons, the People of Earth were United.  Most of the people.  There were some that did not like our agenda.  Some claimed that for this to happen, the global economy would have to crash.

I said, “So Be It!”

Some claimed that wars would be waged, I said, “Bring it on!”

Some said, “OPEC is gone done fuck you up.”

I say, “Let them come!”

And they did.  OPEC (although we have no proof what-so-ever) sabatoged our beloved Hopper.  They cut power to the studio (again, no proof, only assumtion and conjecture).  And still we scream, “‘We will not go quietly into the night!’ We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

So I dedicate this (really poorly done) episode, to you… the people that took up a hopeless cause and brought forth on this continent, a new, lower gas price.  Get Jiggy with it.  Na na na nuh na na.

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Significantly less death talk in this hour, which is good, it being a comedy show and all. Some of you have expressed interest in helping out the survivors of my brother’s death. If you choose to donate to their fund, please make sure you earmark the funds “For Tyson” in your paypal donation or check. Thanks for that.

In this hour, we talk about eating, and Facebook, and Mickey gives us some Life Coaching at the :45.

Seriously… do I look like the Baron Harkonnen? I’ll deal with what happened at the wake next week, so make sure to join us in the Ustream channel at normal time – Saturday 1-4pm Eastern.

In this hour, we discussed Dinner AND a Show, the dispirited nature of cynicism (whatever), and we began our long, heralded path to the glory of the FatManLympics.

Ah, eating, and watching local actors ply their trade, forced into various stale settings, made to speak lines that shove the plot and the house red wine down the patrons’ throats, giving their very best in the sporadically dim spotlight, casting their various and sundry pearls before so much blue haired swine. These, these happy few… What the hell is wrong with me? Anyway, TCTMID had a birthday at Capone’s here in Orlando, and that got us to talking about the many different dinner theaters here in town. Do you have such places near you, and are they grand, or hideous? We’re considering a SomaCow Outing at Medieval Times, or somewhere else, per your suggestion. I really just want to see J get attacked by a falconer.

We also talked about the rise of the internet cynic, a common theme on this show. For too long people sit and stare at their screens, artfully selecting the perfect chemistry of typeface and lack of punctuation, delicately aiming their dart of derision into any form of creative creation. We’re sick of seeing it, from Youtube to Fansites and everywhere in between. If you cannot add to something, you should end your life. Or, at the very least, spend less time with things you hate. Or just come here. We’ll always have you, you cute li’l hater, you.

To tell you the truth, I forgot much of what else we discussed (I think I reviewed Duma Key by Stephen King, with Elross, but that might have just been an undigested-blot-of-mustard-inspired dream). What REALLy matters is the FatManLympics! We need events, we need sponsors, and we need black unitards (they’re slimming)! We’re nailing out the details even now, so if you have an event you would like to see J, myself, and whatever other fat men we can muster compete in, speak up, son. Sound off like you’ve got a pear.

I, personally, cannot wait for the Totino’s Party Pizza Snarf.

We munched on the following great bands in this hour:

• Gogol Bordello – Alcohol
• Go! Motion – A Broken Argument