SomaCow

My name is Geoff, I host an internet radio talk show, and I have diabetes. This is a record of my efforts as I answer the question, Do You Want To Die?

My wife’s grandmother passed away, and between spending time with my in-law side of the family, checking out the zoo, driving back and forth from Florida’s west coast a few times, and trying to get exercise, it’s been a full few days.

I am concerned with my lack of planning. I feel like if I fail to maintain my diet and new way of life, it will be because I fail to think ahead. Let’s examine Friday.

I was already sick, and starting to lose my voice from a sore throat I caught from the little one.

I awoke early, and we had a healthy home breakfast at about 7:00, then headed west. There were some schedule changes to the funeral, so we decided to spend some time at Lowry Park Zoo, and then see Jen’s family when they were ready. Er.

Got some coffee, and we had a great time walking around the zoo, checking out goats and such until about 12:00 noon, when my blood sugar must have dipped due to me not eating. No problem there, I head to the concession stand.

Jen wants a hot dog, Rowan wants a corn dog, and I will have… Hmmm… Not Hot Dog, Not Corn Dog, Not Pizza, Not Breaded Chicken Fingers, Not Hamburger, Not Cotton Candy, Not Cookie, Not Ice Cream…

Uh oh.

Well, they’ll have other places, so Jen and Rowan munched up, and we went walking again.

It was now about 12:30, and the sun was blazing. We were in pseudo-Africa, the part of the zoo with Rhinos and Giraffes and Elephants, and I started seeing little black flies.

We stopped at a few other stands… They had ice cream and dipping dots type stuff, and caramel apples and… shit.

There was a nice restaurant, and no one was to be seen inside of it. Shit.

I started to sort of sink inward, because I wasn’t feeling hungry, I was feeling… weak. Slightly dizzy, my footsteps didn’t quite stay straight and steady on the path, and I was quite a few times thankful to be pushing my child’s stroller, thus gaining some help with my balance.

I had fallen into a pretty damaging, and wholly preventable, trap. I had not planned.

I got some water, drank it, and felt a bit better. We went on to spend another three hours at the zoo, walking in the sun. Some of the black flies were white. A few times I wondered if I was damaging my body. I never said I was smart. We were having fun, and sometimes I would get a boost of energy, maybe from fat pockets being dissolved by my body, who knows?

Suddenly, I felt like my whole digestive system drop, and a cold “rainy” feeling came over my stomach.

I had no idea how used to scheduled eating I had gotten. I mean, I skipped meals all the time just a half a year ago.

We left the park, and I asked Jen to look for a decent place to use “the facilities”. If you know me, you know I must have been in serious need.

There were no facilities. We were in north Tampa, and most restrooms serve as flophouses and opium dens.

Suddenly, my need was gone. What the hell?

We drove back to Clearwater and ended up meeting up with Jen’s Mom, who had normal-people food, and a bunch of trays for the wake-type family gathering that she did not want to open yet. Nurse starts banging through her refrigerator, snapping about what things should and should not be there.

I know Nurse was simply sticking up in an effort to support me, but I felt like a 31 year old worm, sitting on the couch while she harangued her mother for not having diabetes-friendly food.

Why should ANYONE have such in their home? If vegans, or folks allergic to glutens or peanuts came to my house, would I be able to cater to their dietary needs? I grabbed the car keys and ran over to a Sam’s Club. Got some turkey and ham, some olives, a rotisserie chicken, some wheat english muffins, some raspberries, and some unsweet tea.

I think it was just under $50.00 I spent. On lunch. And dinner, because by now, it was around 5:00 PM. But I wanted to make sure I did not get “burned” again on foodstuffs while we were in town for the funeral.

MAN, did that food feel good inside of me.

I think I lost a few pounds from the experience, but I never want to be in that shaky state again. I need to resolve to always having a backup plan, and always be carrying something with me if I am not going to be home for a while.

I am angry again that the Myoplex powder mix contains arsenic. It would be a nice alternative, and can be made with just water and shaking. Damnit.

You cannot rely on other people’s food sources when you have diabetes. You cannot expect other people to have diabetes-friendly foods on hand. Sure, it’s easy… A vegetable, some protein, and maybe some beans, or a piece of whole grain something.

But people always add flour, some enriched corn products, some butter, some trans fats, some heart disease inducing, high fructose corn syrup enjoying additives.

And If You Do Not Want To Die, you need to be prepared, son.

Today I spent some time walking nature trails with Nurse, the Baby, and our friends and their son. It was a really nice day, and I think I am starting to love my new way of living. It sure does get hot out there. But you know what I do when I get overheated?

I sweat. And that is how you know you are working towards being alive. You know who doesn’t sweat? Pigs.

Oh, and a fun fact about sweat. It ALSO contains Urea! Soak that in some milk, yo.

Regarding my sudden stomach issue previously discussed from Friday? Today is Sunday, and 30 minutes before I wrote this blog, I finally solved the equation. It was terrifying.

I ate a lot, I have the diabetes gene, I stayed inside too much. Shocker of all shockers, I now am learning to live, or at the very least not die, with diabetes.

It’s amazing, the neighborhood I live in. There are people who spend their whole afternoons bustling in their yards, warshing their cars, watering their begonias, trimming up their crepe myrtles (sadly, not a pancake), and generally just being outside all evening long.

There are all kinds of birds, and dogs, and a snake, and possum families, and a cockatoo, or maybe it was a cockatiel… I am only sure of the cock.

There are buzzards in the sky, and a moon, and various barbecued smells, and spanish rice smells, and burning maple leaf smells.

There are crunchy underfoot leaves, and crunchy underfoot acorns, and crunchy underfoot kitties (ack!). There are hills, and ponds, and cute little yard things that don’t do anything but rust. There are myriad wonders on my streets.

There are stodgy neighbors, and friendly neighbors, and stoic neighbors, and republican and democrat neighbors, but I don’t hold it against either of them. There are hot neighbors, and smelly neighbors, and neighbors that wave back (my favorite kind!)

There are also two wonderful girls, willing to traipse about with me as we lap the neighborhood.

We chat with each other, and squeal with delight at the butterflies and dog poop, and build up a healthy appetite for the dinner (SHARK MEAT!) we will cook together.

This evening, a year ago, would have consisted of eating Popeye’s Fried Chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, cole slaw, and biscuits drizzled with honey. In a carbohydrate and salted fat stupor, we’d have drooled ourselves into a doze-coma watching Food TV, or some god-awful reality show, while our child fussed at her lack of stimulation and stayed up, possibly too late, watching her dad slowly kill himself between trips to the bathroom.

Plus, stinky smoke.

I really, really enjoyed tonight.

Not just for the great dinner, conversation, and some light exercise. Not just for the nice weather, friendly neighbors, and happy child.

I enjoyed it because it can be like this all the time, if I merely insist that I try. My wife is supportive, my kid is up for anything; the only person that was holding us back… was me.

It’s like we were on a stagecoach, aimed for the cliff, horses lathered and laboring, wheels fittin’ to bust off, and I kept whipping and whipping and whipping, driving us ever closer.

I am glad I put down the whip.

I am glad I am letting go of the reins.

The horses may lead us to water, or perhaps make us think.

But they don’t want to die.

I have no idea what I am talking about. Man, shark and green beans ROCK!

 

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