SomaCow

Answering the question – Do You Want To Die? Specifically of diabetes, but also of sleep deprivation. Since proper snooze is so important, I need to get to bed quickly, so this will be short.

I spent some time with the family tonight, scouring stores for our little girl’s costume for Halloween. Found out some shocking news about food today, will need to confirm what I have read.

In the meantime, since I cannot give you the distance, I will shoot for accuracy.

Eat More Nuts.

Especially Walnuts and Almonds.

They’re like megafood, with regard to what they get done inside you just by eating a handful or two.

Walnuts have craptons of protein, fiber, folate, vitamin E, a bunch of stuff that would mean little to you or me, but had to do with fixing guts, and ellagic acid (stops cancer cells).

Walnuts have kick ass levels of omega-3 fats, which are ninja in helping blood pressure, thinning of the blood, they help with insulin sensing, improve blood vessel flexibility and elasticity.

Almonds make your fat ass feel full. It’s true! I read some crap online that eating almonds WITH wonder bread or mashed potatoes will lower your sugar spike. I may try that one day when I am floating a 70, just to see if it’s true.

Eating almonds also kicks your cholesterol in the squawk, which is great by me!

So, when I get hungry, I cram nuts deep in my mouth. It’s the right thing to do, and the right way to…

Oh?

No Wilfred Brimley quotes?

Sorry about that.

Gotta get some Zs. Good night. I watched Paranormal Activity (the first one, the cheap one) last night. Been scared all day. I hate that feeling. I really hope I get some rest now.

Tags: almonds, cholesterol, diabetes, fight, food, nuts, omega, super, walnuts

Originally posted at SomaCow.com

In this hour, brought to you by HealingRoni Pizza Delivery, I came to a startling realization.

I had just kicked a key member of my show off, and it wasn’t J!

I was struck with the situation, namely, I had just sent Ross packing, he was already out the door, and I knew I had made a mistake. One of my greatest failings (there are many, stick around and try to make a list sometime) is that I rarely consider motive when I am upset. I am great at looking at the world through detached eyes, calmly surmising people and their actions and determining why they do the things they do. Or at least, that is what the tests I took on Spark told me in the nineties.

But when I am angry, miffed, peeved, slighted, insulted, chagrined, embarrassed, threatened, irritated, or pissy, all I see is red. I acted in haste, seeing Ross as out of line, and now what the hell was I going to do? For the first time in SomaCow history, a new show did not start at the top of the hour. I went out of the studio, and found Jen.

She was shocked, confused as to why things had gotten so serious, and she said Ross was already gone. I walked outside, with Mickey and J close behind (it was an opportunity for them to have an unscheduled smoke break, maybe?). I looked down the U of my street, left and right… No Ross. No car. Did he walk? How the hell had he vanished so quickly?

I knew I needed to call him. If I let it go to tomorrow, the bones would set that way, and there would be no repairing the damage done. I whipped out the iPhone, and immediately scanned Twitter.

“it just got real. ON Somacow. – ELROSS”

Well what the hell did THAT mean?

I called Ross.

“Hey, Ross?”

“Hey”

“Where are you?”

“Driving”

I was rapidly losing ground. I knew that if this call ended all jilted and stilted, I’d have to side with my ego, and began the laborious process of walling myself off from Ross. I played back the last year plus of our friendship. Ross and Gary, Ross and Halloween Horror Nights, Ross in a suit atop a bar in downtown Orlando, Ross at my garage sale, buying comics for the kid, and really just assuaging my wife with her pregnancy fears. Ross at dinner, Ross talking to me about impending fatherhood, Ross giving advice on Birthing Centers, Ross giving advice on B4D, Ross shoving us to a tweetup, where we met great peeps. Hours of Ross, handling production, getting guests in and TFO of the studio, calling shows pimping SomaCow, bringing over snacks, bitting with J, giving me shit about smoking because he doesn’t think I should die, Ross at Target, Ross and his many and varied Beard Competitions, Ross Ross Ross.

I couldn’t let him go. So I hatched a plan:

“You can’t leave. There’s Pizza coming.”

I know he saw through it. Mickey, J, Ross and I had a moment, there in that driveway. Why do I sound like Carrie Bradshaw all the sudden?
In this hour, we discussed the Tweetup at Eden at the Enzian, chatted with Etanowitz of the Orlando Sentinel, talked about gay bars, and patched hearts.

Tags: argument, beard, birth center, carrie bradshaw, comedy, eden, elross, enzian, etanowitz, fight, gay bar, halloween horror night, internet, orlando, orlando sentinel, pasta, pizza, Podcast, pregnancy, radio, somacow, spark, talk, tweetup, twitter

SomaCow Media Network is proud to present SomaCow. Brought to you this week by Bern’s Steakhouse – For all your special family memories, it’s the best steakhouse in the lower 48 for Champagne Room Confessions!

(picture from RavishingBeasts.com)

In this hour, I talk at great length about my misadventures at my Wife’s Sister’s birthday dinner. Once you have listened, do comment the blog and let me know what you think about what happened (like how I ate away at the family like phosphoric acid eats away at just about anything, a prime ingredient in Coke).

In the meantime, I have lost 20 lbs on Atkins (you wouldn’t have to worry so much about losing weight if you’d not drink Coke, all the high fructose corn syrup just puts on pounds, contributes to diabetes and obesity, and rots your teeth!) and am now 12.5% of the way to my goal weight. This is the real crux of all diets, where a bit of success has been enjoyed, and the dieter can all too often feel the desire to “celebrate” or get lax in their resolve. I am vigilant to the extreme, and will not waver. I did learn that Atkins’ shakes may be a staller (you know what else can stall things? giving a baby Coke, the carbonation messes with their digestion as they can’t handle it), and are certainly not a great idea during induction. They are certainly delicious, though.

Anyway, I am covering… We’ll talk more about weight loss and the 1,000 lb. challenge in a later episode, suffice it to say I think I could see my goal weight by end of summer, or at the very least my Birthday in October. Just in time for pumpkin pie (you know, pumpkin pie was our baby’s first bite of non-breastmilk food, you know why? it didn’t have caffeine in it which babies can’t process!), beefcake.

You know what is crazy?

This

Tags: atkins, bern's, coca cola, coke, comedy, family, fight, internet, orlando, pie, Podcast, pumpkin, punch, radio, soda, somacow, Steakhouse, talk