I am Geoff, you are reading a blog I write. Interspersed within that blog is our podcast, called SomaCow. Give it a listen, yeah?
So, I have been trying to eat more healthy, grilling instead of frying, using leaner meats instead of steak, and eating craptons of veg.
I have found myself nearly obsessed with fish. I have never met a food that so divides people, the line in the sand being held by lovers, and haters.
My wife was a hater, once, but I think she is coming around nicely. Slowly, over time, she would allow new seafoods, starting with crab, moving into fried scallops, or fried fish, eventually into shrimp, then sushi. She even ate smelt. She didn’t fall down in love with it, but she ate it!
I think she would try sea cucumbers now. Ew.
So, if she could change, maybe there is hope for the rest of you non-fish lovers. When I go to the grocery stores, I am saddened by the lack of selection, the bleak, desolate aisle, where no one smiles and things often smell… Fishy.
What makes people so mad at a food? I guess, if I had to make a bitch list, it would go like this:
1. The Smell of It
2. The Cost of It
3. The Difficulty of Cooking It
4. F*%&ing Bones and Shells and What Not
5. Huge Pussy
I will try to work through these with you, and then you too can enjoy an entirely new (to you) meat! If you already like fish, fine, bring me over some.
1. The Smell of It - Fish can be stank, but it is a lot like other things – If it smells, something is wrong. Do not eat it if the smell is overpowering. When you go to buy it, sniff it.
It’s fun, and you will know in seconds if you are getting good stuff or need to find a new fishmonger. Don’t be afraid to say it smells bad. Two or three of those in a row will make any seafood store change gears and start getting fresher stock. Meanwhile, fish love butter, salt, lemon, white wine reductions, glazes, pepper, and a thousand other flavor bombs that will mix nicely, and even mask, any subtle smell your fool nose may perceive.
2. The Cost of It – Fish can be seasonal, fish can be local, fish can be endangered, you need to pay effing attention. Salmon can vary greatly in price, with farm-raised fillets running $6 to $10 a pound, Atlantic Salmon running $9 to $15 a pound, and Pacific Salmon running $12 to $19 a pound, and these prices were all seen at standard grocery stores.
While any of that seems expensive, it isn’t when you consider the cost of your first triple bypass is going to run you about $260,000. Copay these nuts, and get yourself some Omega 3. Try to buy stuff in season, and try to buy stuff that is sustainable, and thus, affordable, like trout, whitefish, and… shit. Go here and learn about stuff http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/cr/cr_seafoodwatch/download.aspx
3. The Difficulty of Cooking It – No bones about it, Fish is adult work. Gutting, cleaning, scaling, filleting… Man, that is hard work. Thankfully, there is a guy in a smock who will do any of that for you. If you have, you know, working hands, you can teach yourself most anything with youtube and a knife.
The secret to fish is get the oil, grill, or pan HOT. Fish want to be cooked quick, and don’t fidget with it too much. You are looking for light flaking, not rubbery flapping. Most predator fish can be served damn near raw, so enjoy playing with medium rare, etc. Pick a fish, and research it. Some need milk, some need oil, some fry well, others pickle well. There are, like, way a lot of fish in the sea, and most of them want to be eaten. Learn! Pansy!
4. Fucking Bones and Shells and What Not – Oh bones. Bones suck. Get good at finding them. Some fish have such tiny bones, you can eat them whole. Nom NOM. Most fish do not. If you are going to tool them out yourself, you need a good filleting knife, a decent skin pincher, and I’d consider a pair of food-safe pliers for pulling out pinbones. A thing worth having is worth having right, right?
I find that the effort of shucking oysters, cracking crab claws, peeling shrimp, etc. is a labor that adds to my enjoyment of the inner flesh. Debearding a mussel, teasing a clam from its shell, these things take practice, and to watch a seasoned opener in action is a thing of beauty. Call it the Rubik’s factor, but I just like food that requires some solving.
5. Huge Pussy – Denying an entire food group, especially when we have hormonally imbalanced cattle, salmonella and steroid infused chicken, and god knows how many ecological nightmares from pig farming, is silly. Humans need balance. Finding sustainable food is a responsible organism’s duty.
Ignoring for a moment the toxic fish farms, the overfishing of grouper, tuna, etc. and the general silliness of some seafood stores (thaw, freeze, thaw thaw, freeze?), fish is good food. Stop being such a pussy and eat good food. It is brain power, cell lubricant, a great source of protein, minerals, fats, oils… I cannot overstate the benefits. Although, from re-reading this, I almost have.
Whatever. Do what you want, but know this. If you eat fish, I like you more. If you do not, I think less of you, every day, in every way.
Gary of Just Push Play introduced us to a kick ass fish place up in Lake Mary called Lighthouse. They have a really high quality selection, fair prices, and we love the management. Check them out, if you are nearby!
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