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Posts Tagged “friend”Originally drizzled at SomaCow.com In this episode, we covered the South Carolina governor’s cheating ways, our manly things, Canada Day, Independence Day, and porn on the iPhone.
I feel awful… Our listener Glenn Webber took over writing show notes for me, and I just now got them in my email inbox. They are lengthy and thorough, and the last two blogs really should reflect that. Good work, Glenn! So, it seems pretty lockstep around the show that cheating is a no no. We’ll have to verify with Mickey when he gets back. I have never understood the concept of cheating, and why you would not just tell the person you are with that it is over before you start a new plough. I am happy I sewed my royal oats, as it were, before I got married. I look around me and see 90% of the marriages of my friends ending in a bitter unfaithful divorce. A wise guy I know says if you ever want to think a thing through, write out all the pros and cons and determine the end sum reached. - Itchy Dick - Many are the men who thought their one stop pantsdrop would be a momentary lapse of penis, but the reality is that more than half the people you know got something funky going on down undah. Condoms can’t stop it all, people. What if the herpes is on the pubis? Not only do you get that sick feeling in your stomach of being forever afflicted with some nasty nads, but you will eventually give it to your current partner, maybe even any kids you have. Yech. Wham, Bam, OH MY GOD IT BURNS. - Layin’ Low - Seriously… What if the girl you pick to cheat with is a fat chick? Or that loud abrasive gal in sales, with the hook nose? What if she’s just needy, and stalks you, calling you at all hours of the night, leaving snotty notes on your car, showing up around your boys and asking for you. You don’t need this noise. Boiling a bunny is just where it starts, and most women know that a cheating guy wants to keep it on the dl. Once a chick knows what you do NOT want, she has a choke chain on you for the duration of your indiscretion. Never give another person your rope. - Twice the Price - Maybe money isn’t a problem for you. Maybe you have cold hard cash pouring out of your ears, pooling around you, causing you to engage in Scrooge McDuckin swimming sessions in an ocean of finance. For the rest of us, cash is scarce, especially now. Unless you like washing the sheets once a day, you probably cannot bring your mistress to your bed, and so you end up getting hotels, or driving to their place. Might as well take them to dinner. Oh, and it’s their birthday, gotta get them a bracelet or some other hunk of metal that says, “thanks for effing me!” Whoops… Your wife is now feeling like you never take HER out to dinner, better get her some baubles, too, and on and on and on. I hear a lot of dudes bitch about how expensive it is to divorce. It is far more expensive to juggle dames. I could go on, but you won’t read it. Now, here is what you get for cheating – To Stick It In A New Hole Whoopty Shit. The curious thing about holes is that once you have explored their depth, they are pretty much like every other hole out there. Do what I did… Get pretty good at spelunking, check out a bunch of shallow caverns, and then go find yourself a Carlsbad. Spend the rest of your life learning its intricities. And for God’s Sake… bring a canary. Tags: cheating, comedy, condom, divorce, fat chick, friend, herpes, hussy, internet, marriage, mistress, orlando, Podcast, radio, scrooge, somacow, stalker, std, talkSomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Barackolyspe Now, coming soon to a theater near you. In this, our finest hour, we lay waste to the waste layer of an entire generation, namely, World of Warcraft. It’s time, good people of the world, to slough off the scales of sedimentary life, to brush away the moss that has formed so slowly, and yet so completely, over your backs and hearts and libidos as you sat, day after day, endlessly grinding levels in an effort to stop getting killed on raids so quickly. Free yourself from Blizzard Entertainment and move the hell ON from this bloated, overdone franchise of games. Besides, Star Craft II is out, and you know you want it. Normally, dear listener, Jen writes down simple one sentence liner notes in an effort to help me fabricate these blogs. Today, I find it necessary to impart to you all what she has transcribed for my use at this time:
What more can be said that that? Mickey has brilliant plans for a new restaurant, which we will be opening as soon as we finish the other 75 business ventures we are currently working on. Suffice it to say, we know our target market, and are hard at work finding an architect that can design a dining room to accommodate that much weight. Who designs circus tents, anyway? We spend some time discussing the mystery that is the modern hot dog. Whether it be the infamous goop dog (does anyone have a photo of this supposed food product?) Or a strange buttload of hot pressed hogmeat, Greek style, we pay homage to the Tube Meat.I also have been literally attacked by the classmates, friend finder, and highschool hores where is they now type sites lately. Do you have really good friends from childhood, people that you have known all your life, and will always remain daily-tight with. I don’t mean fond of, I mean “have lunch with them daily”? I think it’s a shame, but the reality of the internet is that we can use it to choose the people we speak with, whereas childhood friends are just a happy happenstance of proximity and scheduling. Weird, and so precious that you retain such friendships if you are able. Mickey gives a double dose of the LifeCoaching, both in segment and a personal aside to Today’s Male Youth. We also discussed the base falseness of women, specifically, being extra nice to a person’s face when secretly you wouldn’t piss on their mother if she were infected with some weird bacteria that specifically required urine in order to combat terrible deep tissue cramps, or something. I don’t know, women just do weird stuff. Come up and say hi to us and bye to a very good friend of ours, The Uberbastard
Wednesday Night at The Willow Tree Restaurant in Downtown Sanford. Here’s a map, so you won’t get lost. Clickity Clina, The Clinese Clickah On street parking is usually pretty easy to grab. Share the boot, have some sausages, and hit on Theo’s excellent multinational staff. Employees, not his actual mannschaft. We enjoyed the following footlong bands during this episode:
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