SomaCow

Originally posted at SomaCow.com

In this hour, brought to you by HealingRoni Pizza Delivery, I came to a startling realization.

I had just kicked a key member of my show off, and it wasn’t J!

I was struck with the situation, namely, I had just sent Ross packing, he was already out the door, and I knew I had made a mistake. One of my greatest failings (there are many, stick around and try to make a list sometime) is that I rarely consider motive when I am upset. I am great at looking at the world through detached eyes, calmly surmising people and their actions and determining why they do the things they do. Or at least, that is what the tests I took on Spark told me in the nineties.

But when I am angry, miffed, peeved, slighted, insulted, chagrined, embarrassed, threatened, irritated, or pissy, all I see is red. I acted in haste, seeing Ross as out of line, and now what the hell was I going to do? For the first time in SomaCow history, a new show did not start at the top of the hour. I went out of the studio, and found Jen.

She was shocked, confused as to why things had gotten so serious, and she said Ross was already gone. I walked outside, with Mickey and J close behind (it was an opportunity for them to have an unscheduled smoke break, maybe?). I looked down the U of my street, left and right… No Ross. No car. Did he walk? How the hell had he vanished so quickly?

I knew I needed to call him. If I let it go to tomorrow, the bones would set that way, and there would be no repairing the damage done. I whipped out the iPhone, and immediately scanned Twitter.

“it just got real. ON Somacow. – ELROSS”

Well what the hell did THAT mean?

I called Ross.

“Hey, Ross?”

“Hey”

“Where are you?”

“Driving”

I was rapidly losing ground. I knew that if this call ended all jilted and stilted, I’d have to side with my ego, and began the laborious process of walling myself off from Ross. I played back the last year plus of our friendship. Ross and Gary, Ross and Halloween Horror Nights, Ross in a suit atop a bar in downtown Orlando, Ross at my garage sale, buying comics for the kid, and really just assuaging my wife with her pregnancy fears. Ross at dinner, Ross talking to me about impending fatherhood, Ross giving advice on Birthing Centers, Ross giving advice on B4D, Ross shoving us to a tweetup, where we met great peeps. Hours of Ross, handling production, getting guests in and TFO of the studio, calling shows pimping SomaCow, bringing over snacks, bitting with J, giving me shit about smoking because he doesn’t think I should die, Ross at Target, Ross and his many and varied Beard Competitions, Ross Ross Ross.

I couldn’t let him go. So I hatched a plan:

“You can’t leave. There’s Pizza coming.”

I know he saw through it. Mickey, J, Ross and I had a moment, there in that driveway. Why do I sound like Carrie Bradshaw all the sudden?
In this hour, we discussed the Tweetup at Eden at the Enzian, chatted with Etanowitz of the Orlando Sentinel, talked about gay bars, and patched hearts.

Tags: argument, beard, birth center, carrie bradshaw, comedy, eden, elross, enzian, etanowitz, fight, gay bar, halloween horror night, internet, orlando, orlando sentinel, pasta, pizza, Podcast, pregnancy, radio, somacow, spark, talk, tweetup, twitter

SomaCow Media is proud(?) to present… ThomaCow! Brought to you this week by PFLAG.

So in this episode Mickey talks about his experience eating at a gay bar. He went to Hamburger Mary’s, a new burger establishment/bar in Orlando and gave it rave reviews for scenery (and food)! He says he didn’t realize it was a gay establishment at first, but as a self-proclaimed cock tease I think he was just trying to save face. Geoff is hoping Karma bites Mickey in the ass one time when he goes into a gay bar cock-teasing with his handsome charm, wit, and good looks.

So after this, the guys go into a lengthy discussion on their various gay encounters throughout the years. OK, this part wasn’t so bad…interesting insight into the past lives of Geoff, Mickey, and J. Then they jumped into the smell of semen and how J’s doesn’t smell but Geoff swears there is a scent to it. The live chatroom loved getting into this discussion! So what’s the verdict? Does semen smell? Does the scent change? Discuss!

After about 30 minutes of gay bar/semen talk, the old SomaCow came back around and focused on the real issue of hour 3… FOOD!

Is there such a thing as too many incredibly hot and wonderful fries? I think not! Who has the best fries out there?

And then, the topic shifts again…Geoff swears that if a drag queen is hot enough it doesn’t matter if they are a man. I mean there are some that are just incredibly beautiful!

J had had just enough of this talk so he had to finish the hour on a more masculine discussion. He has hooked Geoff on one of the more manly habits a man can have…putting a long thick thing in their mouth and sucking.

Thank you all for joining us in this hilarious and insightful hour! We also enjoyed the following music:

• Devin Lima – Crafty Bitch
• Baskervilles – Slip a LIttle and Boom!

And the show notes of the week from Ross:

“3:13 J ‘You sure have a nice boy (box?) for 15.’”

We would also like to add, if you have a SomaCow Sticker and have placed it in a really cool place, take a picture and send it in. This weeks SomaCow sticker comes from our listener Gryffyn who has recently become a pilot.

Tags: baskervilles, cigars, cock tease, comedy, devin lima, drag queens, food, fries, gay, gay bar, hamburger mary, internet, orlando, pflag, Podcast, radio, semen, talk, ustream