SomaCow

SomaCow Media Network is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you by High Tide Harry’s.  Join us tomorrow evening for The Crabacalypse.

For most people, the chance to throw your hands up in the air and declare, “I WON!” is a rare thing.  To be completely adn utterly basked in victory, is such an awesome feeling.  For me, it’s no big deal, it happens all the time.  Hell, my last paycheck for Wild Wild West came on a flatbed.

How do you measure a podcaster, what makes a blogger great?
Is it the downloads?  20 mil.
Is it the cars?  Kawasaki.
Is it the women?  The Chick That I Am Dating.
Is it the money?  Please.

(Seriously, please donate if you are entertained.  We discovered that, if we want to get a hot chick on the show, we may have to pay for it.)

So, our big win this week, gas prices.  Look around, leaves are brown, it’s a hazy shade of winter… BUT… the gas prices are falling faster than President Bush’s approval ratings.  Several months ago, we declared that we heard a rumor that gas would be one dollar per gallon by March of 2009, and it hit 34 cents.

On this week’s show we took a moment to recognize some great boobs.  Ms. Elizabeth Shue, you have got some great boobs.

Dang, diggy, dang, da-dang, da-dang, diggy, diggy.

Random Junk You Might Find Interesting:

• Steampunk USB Drive, Because You Don’t Yet Have a Steampunk USB Drive [Gadgets]
• The Wild Wild West of China
• Why was Harry Truman less popular than George W. Bush?
• George W. Bush: Worst President Ever According To America
• Abundance Comes from Being Grateful
• Hackers, The Computer Revolution, and Generating Something Useful

Tags: Arts, Elisabeth Shue, George W Bush, Handcar, Steampunk, television, United States Presidential approval rating, Wild Wild West

Geoff and Mickey are always teasing me about being “old man on the show”. I secretly suspect that this is merely because I was born a long time before they were. But now I guess I can’t complain, because I have finally committed the ultimate old-person act:

“*GASP*”, you gasp, “You have purchased white Sans-a-Belt slacks?!?!”

No, don’t be ridiculous.

I have registered to vote.

Registration, and the whole voting process, conjures up images in my mind of my grandfathers who, after watching fat, old, white men in black suits on the evening news for two hours, causing me to miss the crucial opening minutes of “Sanford and Son” where the whole premise of the episode is established, would grumble and cuss and kick their pale, veiny, spindly grandfather legs at the TV, and swear that they were going to vote against that sonofabitch whom they just voted INTO office during the previous election.

See? Old people actually CARE about what the valueless, ineffectual politicians say and do. Kids, like me, see the world with the clarity of youth and realize that it is far more important to eat Fruity Pebbles, watch Scooby-Doo and put baseball cards in the spokes of your bicycle because it makes a cool noise that sounds exactly unlike a motorcycle.

What’s more, I can PROVE that no elected official in history has had the slightest impact on this nation, or on me, or on you, or on our families as Americans. Ask the Republicans where the problems of today came from, and they will say “From the Clinton administration”. They realize that George Washington Bush has done NOTHING during his eight years in office that impacts us in any way. Next, ask the Democrats where the problems of the Clinton administration came from, and they will say…(ummm…hang on a second while I look up who the President was before Clinton…OH!..OK.) They will say that George Harvey Washington Bush (no relation) was the source of all the misery, completely negating anything that Clinton may have pretended to do while in office. And so it goes, back and back and back through Presidents Ronald Reagan and John Fitzpatrick Kennedy and Benjamin Franklin. None of them, if you ask their party, did anything wrong and none of them, if you ask the opposing party, did anything right.

Net effect: zero.

So, for years I just ignored Washington (the city, not the actual d00d, because I believe that he may be deceased) hoping that it would lobby and spend and impeach itself out of existence, and we citizens could all get back to the REAL American business of hating foreigners and manufacturing sub-standard cars.

But, I finally realized that participating in the election process gives me the ultimate power as an American: the power to vote AGAINST more fat, old, white men in black suits on the evening news for two hours, causing me to miss the crucial opening minutes of “The Office” where the whole premise of the episode is established.

Tags: boobs, Fruity Pebbles, George W Bush, presidents, register, rock the vote, Sanford and Son, Scooby, teens, The Office, vote, voting

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow. Brought to you this week by Say… Anything. The best all chick show on the network!

So Mickey is looking to move. In this market, should he take the plunge and buy? Or keep on renting? I mean renting at least you wouldn’t have to climb on the roof, crawl around the attic, replace the wet carpet, pay to have the a/c recharged, mow the lawn, clean the pool, shock the pool, chlorinate the pool…shit.

Hulk-a-datea? Now that Hulk has gotten his divorce, what will his next stunt be? Hogan dates best?

Geoff doesn’t like summer or Muscular Dystrophy…June through Labor Day must be some rough days for the guy…

In local news, the search for Caylee Anthony is everywhere so of course our A#1 newshound, J, wants to get in on the action. Go for it J, in the name of SomaCow! (and write a damn blog about it)

This week, Geoff reviewed Goodnight Moon, one of my favorite children’s books. This leads into a discussion of the best children’s books out there…and how the Bible needs to be rewritten.

Oh! And SomaCow LOVES Neil Patrick Harris. Have you seen Dr Horrible? If not, shame on you (and now you have no excuse!)

This week’s music was:

• The Presidents of the United States of America – More Bad Times

Tags: bible, caylee anthony, Children's literature, comedy, Democratic Party, Dick Cheney, divorce, dr horrible, George W Bush, goodnight moon, hulk hogan, internet, Joss Whedon, labor day, md, move, moving, muscular dystrophy, neil patrick harris, orlando, own, Podcast, potusa, radio, rent, say anything, summer, talk, the presidents of the united states of america, United States of America