The Small, Still Voice
Be(oil)ach Vacation
Crusin’?
Just Go To Orlando
You Can’t Get Ice
Holy Land Vacation
SomaCow House Exchange
Jen. Wants. Towels.
Jesse James = Bitch
WWII TV
Pork ‘n’ Beans *shudder*
Shit Movies
Down In FR
Never Go Full Pixie
Lacrosse = Lame
Brits Get a Pass?

In this hour, we talked about Mickey’s 35th birthday party, which The Chick That He Is Dating was kind enough to throw. It was… surreal, and J and I came to the terrifying realization that Mickey was born to skate. He just looks right, twirling around, gossamer threads of diet mountain dew sweat arcing from his magnificent suddenly seven foot tall hair. The dude needs to be retro-installed into every ABBA video.

We also discussed Bill Gates leaving office, as tipped by one of our chat room listeners. If you ever want to listen live, its pretty easy – just swing by the ustream and you can watch anonymously, or create a log-in and take part in our discussion. Just one of the many gifts that Bill Gates and his OS of shame have yet to take away from us. Maybe next build, yeah?

We rounded out the hour talking about pie. Specifically, $60.00 if you eat it, you get it for free pie. I have yet to hear from the guys this week, as I know they are cowardly and afraid of my skills in the fields on munch, I cannot say that I am surprised. But I promise you this – the competition will happen, there will be video, and I will not fail. What’s 29 inches, multiplied by 3.14? Lunch, that’s what.

Happy 4th of July to all our listeners. Try not to blow off any of your appendages, and send pictures of your firecracker boobs to Mickey@somacow.com. I will, apparently, be spending much of today getting to know our new toilet seat. I wish we had gone with the $700 dollar model.

And listen to these fine tunes with us:

• Richard Cheese – Welcome to the Jungle
• Richard Cheese – Hey Ya!
• Richard Cheese – Material Girl

I’m late. Yesterday was a great day, but it lent itself to forgetfulness. I (Mickey) have the weekend to myself and forgot about all my duties. The Chick left town, and I forgot to feed her dog until 6 hours after din-din time. Geoff is busy, so I forgot that the show wasn’t ready to go. Ross is on vacation, so he wasn’t there to constantly hound me about doing my job.

We talked about a couple that lived the last decade within fifteen of each other. Amazing. I’d kill people.

I’ll stop blathering and post the show.

Before I retired from the Professional Drinker’s League, I used alcohol as a way to hide the fact that I was a complete social square peg in a round hole world. Heavy drinking led to me getting mugged. But that is a story for another time.

Geoff uses his drinking to be the entertainment pillar of his office parties. And there is no office party like a Christmas office party. Even worse than getting drunk at the office party, Geoff got Wine Drunk.

Which reminds… Red Wine… Don’t Do It! (I can’t type out the details, so listen to the show to find out why.)

So… ok… wow. This is uncomfortable. I’m not sure how to eloquently bring this to an end. This is typical. I do the same thing with phone conversations. I just don’t know how to cut the chord. I feel that if I try to hang up, I will somehow hurt the other person’s feeling. But I don’t want to hang on the line and make them feel awkward.

I think it is a deep seated psychological issue that I have. When I was young, I used to love the telephone, but that was because it was a rare thing for me to actually get a phone call. Although it could be a problem that I usually get phone calls when I am in the middle of doing things and I can’t mutli-task very well. I can multi-task, just not when the phone is involved. I wasn’t trained properly. Like I said, I didn’t get that many calls when I was younger. And… I was always too shy to pick up the phone and call someone.

God, I think back and imagine how much… uh… interaction I could have gotten in high school if I wasn’t so shy, if I would have called the girls in my class, or if I was a little more forward at times.

I’m not trying to look back on life with regret. I have a good “The Chick That I Am Dating“, great actually. We have a lot of … uh… interaction. I’m just describing how I got to where I am with how I handle a phone call. I suck at phone conversations. I’m down right awful. I can’t ever seem to close out the conversation and disconnect.

It’s stupid. I should just be able to call someone and let them know what I have to say. I just feel like, I’m going to hang up and think of something important I needed to tell the person. And that leads to me feeling really dumb for having to call them right back. I hate when I have to call someone right back when I just had them on the phone. The people I often call are mature enough to handle a second call if it is …

You know what, I have to go. Ok, I love you, Goodbye.

Hillbilly Hellcats – Drinkin’ Buddies
Mad Caddies – Drinking For 11
4th Wall Broken – Let Me Ride
London After Midnight – The Kids Are All Wrong

When SomaCow Media Network takes over the world, things are going to change. Rules will be put in place to change a lot of things. Spit will no longer be tolerated in porn movies. Traffic will be smoother. The kicker will take his proper place among the revered sports heroes of the world. Colorado will be disarmed. Kids will be banned from public restrooms (or just being in public). The staff at the Great American Cookie Company will be more attentive to our needs, DAMN YOU EMO BOY!

SomaCow, is also brought to you this week by dancarlin.com. Dan does great work, both in Common Sense and Hardcore History, and I highly recommend him if you like intelligent talk. SPEAKING of… um… intelligent talk, we also do a l’il show round here, you might’ve heard of that…

We rejoin SomaCow, emboldened by the presence of Lauren and Xander, and tackle the tough issues, like Sanjayan Surrogate Mommies for Rich Infertile Brits. Who knew we would see childbirth outsourcing? I guess it was just a matter of time, with pregnancy and birth being seen as an inconvenience and stuff these days.

We talk about selling eggs (how much should an egg cost?) and the shameful fact that sperm costs LESS? All eggs do is LAY there…

Also had some lively discussion on sportzzz in Florida, namely the Dolphins and their continued commitment to sucking. 13 losses and growing is no small feat. Once, when I played softball and our team was down 32 to nothing, I bravely took myself out of the game in the first inning by leaping 12 feet from the first base with all my might, landing 8 feet closer to the bag and breaking my pinky under my bulk. It was epic. Out.

You know who does Sports up Right? Ryan, of http://www.sportsbuzzradio.com, THAT’S WHO.

Jesus, I keep sending you guys away from here to listen to other shows… Why could that be? It certainly couldn’t be because I choke during the news bomb in this episode, falling flat on my face… Thank God Mickey and J were there to kick sand in my face. Preesh, dudes.

Anyway… I know you will listen, and laugh, and hate me all the more. And I thank you for it. Bunch of funny stuff in this episode, and I wanna go listen, so… Bye.

The following Revolutionary tunes rose up
Butthole Surfers – Pepper
MXPX – You’re On Fire
Richard Cheese – Jingle Bells (In the style of the singing dogs)
The Orion Experience – Obsessed With You

By the way… who is Eddie Bauer?

Why did Dan and Butter remove the link?

Where the hell is Josh?

Will Oprah help get Obama elected?

The answers to these and more questions when the Revolution continues in episode 103!