SomaCow

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by MucheDumbre.com. Social misfitication is a horrible affliction, and I have it bad. Seriously.

Before I retired from the Professional Drinker’s League, I used alcohol as a way to hide the fact that I was a complete social square peg in a round hole world. Heavy drinking led to me getting mugged. But that is a story for another time.

Geoff uses his drinking to be the entertainment pillar of his office parties. And there is no office party like a Christmas office party. Even worse than getting drunk at the office party, Geoff got Wine Drunk.

Which reminds… Red Wine… Don’t Do It! (I can’t type out the details, so listen to the show to find out why.)

So… ok… wow. This is uncomfortable. I’m not sure how to eloquently bring this to an end. This is typical. I do the same thing with phone conversations. I just don’t know how to cut the chord. I feel that if I try to hang up, I will somehow hurt the other person’s feeling. But I don’t want to hang on the line and make them feel awkward.

I think it is a deep seated psychological issue that I have. When I was young, I used to love the telephone, but that was because it was a rare thing for me to actually get a phone call. Although it could be a problem that I usually get phone calls when I am in the middle of doing things and I can’t mutli-task very well. I can multi-task, just not when the phone is involved. I wasn’t trained properly. Like I said, I didn’t get that many calls when I was younger. And… I was always too shy to pick up the phone and call someone.

God, I think back and imagine how much… uh… interaction I could have gotten in high school if I wasn’t so shy, if I would have called the girls in my class, or if I was a little more forward at times.

I’m not trying to look back on life with regret. I have a good “The Chick That I Am Dating“, great actually. We have a lot of … uh… interaction. I’m just describing how I got to where I am with how I handle a phone call. I suck at phone conversations. I’m down right awful. I can’t ever seem to close out the conversation and disconnect.

It’s stupid. I should just be able to call someone and let them know what I have to say. I just feel like, I’m going to hang up and think of something important I needed to tell the person. And that leads to me feeling really dumb for having to call them right back. I hate when I have to call someone right back when I just had them on the phone. The people I often call are mature enough to handle a second call if it is …

You know what, I have to go. Ok, I love you, Goodbye.

Hillbilly Hellcats – Drinkin’ Buddies
Mad Caddies – Drinking For 11
4th Wall Broken – Let Me Ride
London After Midnight – The Kids Are All Wrong

Tags: alternative, birth, bomb, butthole, buzz, carlin, cheese, common, dan, dolphins, eggs, hardcore, history, independant, independent, infertile, intelligent, internet, jesus, mxpx, news, orlando, Podcast, pregnancy, radio, richard, ryan, sanjaya, sense, sperm, sports, suck, surfers, surrogate

SomaCow Media Network proudly presents SomaCow (featuring portions of The Lunar Room). In this, our finest hour, we create the machinations for the overthrow of the world powers.

When SomaCow Media Network takes over the world, things are going to change. Rules will be put in place to change a lot of things. Spit will no longer be tolerated in porn movies. Traffic will be smoother. The kicker will take his proper place among the revered sports heroes of the world. Colorado will be disarmed. Kids will be banned from public restrooms (or just being in public). The staff at the Great American Cookie Company will be more attentive to our needs, DAMN YOU EMO BOY!

SomaCow, is also brought to you this week by dancarlin.com. Dan does great work, both in Common Sense and Hardcore History, and I highly recommend him if you like intelligent talk. SPEAKING of… um… intelligent talk, we also do a l’il show round here, you might’ve heard of that…

We rejoin SomaCow, emboldened by the presence of Lauren and Xander, and tackle the tough issues, like Sanjayan Surrogate Mommies for Rich Infertile Brits. Who knew we would see childbirth outsourcing? I guess it was just a matter of time, with pregnancy and birth being seen as an inconvenience and stuff these days.

We talk about selling eggs (how much should an egg cost?) and the shameful fact that sperm costs LESS? All eggs do is LAY there…

Also had some lively discussion on sportzzz in Florida, namely the Dolphins and their continued commitment to sucking. 13 losses and growing is no small feat. Once, when I played softball and our team was down 32 to nothing, I bravely took myself out of the game in the first inning by leaping 12 feet from the first base with all my might, landing 8 feet closer to the bag and breaking my pinky under my bulk. It was epic. Out.

You know who does Sports up Right? Ryan, of http://www.sportsbuzzradio.com, THAT’S WHO.

Jesus, I keep sending you guys away from here to listen to other shows… Why could that be? It certainly couldn’t be because I choke during the news bomb in this episode, falling flat on my face… Thank God Mickey and J were there to kick sand in my face. Preesh, dudes.

Anyway… I know you will listen, and laugh, and hate me all the more. And I thank you for it. Bunch of funny stuff in this episode, and I wanna go listen, so… Bye.

The following Revolutionary tunes rose up
Butthole Surfers – Pepper
MXPX – You’re On Fire
Richard Cheese – Jingle Bells (In the style of the singing dogs)
The Orion Experience – Obsessed With You

By the way… who is Eddie Bauer?

Why did Dan and Butter remove the link?

Where the hell is Josh?

Will Oprah help get Obama elected?

The answers to these and more questions when the Revolution continues in episode 103!

Tags: alternative, birth, bomb, butthole, buzz, carlin, cheese, common, dan, dolphins, eggs, hardcore, history, independant, independent, infertile, intelligent, internet, jesus, mxpx, news, orlando, Podcast, pregnancy, radio, richard, ryan, sanjaya, sense, sperm, sports, suck, surfers, surrogate