Posts Tagged “hot dogs”Originally lookin’ for a cop at http://somacow.com Two Words: Mascots Originally app’d at http://somacow.com, home of The Greatest Internet Radio Talk Show, Ever.
I like turtles and monkeys are funny. That, however is neither here nor there. Which is the same location as George Lucas’s brain. It is neither here, nor there. It is completely lost. As insane as the director was, the movies are still fantastic. Bamboo sucks. Seriously. If I didn’t have a screen room or a pool, and just had a yard, I think it would be cool. It would be mega-awesome if I could get a panda. Oh, a panda and a koala in a Bamboo Cage Match. Hmm. BEAR WARS. That would make a great television show. Each week, the producers would pit one brand of bear against another and they would fight to the pin fall. And now to our main event, weighing in at twenty-five hundred pounds, Arctodus Simus, undefeated in his last 230 bouts he is challenging for the world heavy bear championship of the world. And now, the champion, sporting the green trunks and weighing in at a stout one thousand five hundred pounds… THE KODIAK! Damn that would be cool. The only problem is the Acto-Sim is extinct. Oh well. Somewhere in the episode we talked about iPhone owners. We probably insulted them. That’s what we do. My girlfriend is hot. I had hotdogs for dinner while watching Phantom Menace. I have Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer. Lady gaga is not a panda. That sentence was only included so I could use it as a tag. Thanks for listening. -Mickey Tags: bamboo, bear, giant dwarf panda, giant panda, greatest interenet radio talk show, hot dogs, how to manipulate google, how to manipulate people who are trying to manipulate google, iphone, lady gaga is not a panda, panda, star warsLet me begin by saying that my most bizarre sexual fetish is doing it horizontally. I think you see where I’m coming from. But, as we mentioned in Episode 153 below, the internet has brought to our attention a wide array of zany fetishes that we had never heard of (and at least one that we believe can only be enacted in a zero-gravity environment with animatronic American Presidents), that serve to demonstrate that there is nothing so weird that men, somewhere, won’t receive a fresh shipment of prime deforested wood from it, IYKWIM. We had all heard of a branch of foot fetishism known as “Crush”, wherein a woman, wearing stiletto heels, crushes things like peaches, hot dogs or extremely hairy European men underfoot. Sometimes they do it barefoot and squish yogurt, containing active cultures, between their toes. I don’t know about you, but I have spent many hours in the Athlete’s Foot remedy aisle at the drug store, trying to PREVENT active cultures from squishing between my toes. Then Mickey stumbled across a fetish website wherein women drivers get their cars stuck in the mud, sand or snow, and have to repeatedly pump the gas pedal in what I assume is supposed to be a seductive manner. These women are also wearing stiletto F-me pumps, but the way I understand it, the ATTRACTION is based on the fact that the women are caught in a situation where they are helpless. After the show, I looked up some other such “women helpless in a troubling situation” fetishes, since it lets me look at porn and get to call it “show-topic research”. For reasons that I don’t understand, these fetishes are always named after famous verbs. Tangle: Typically, this fetish centers on a young woman getting ready for work, college or a date, when her hairbrush suddenly and unexpectedly gets snagged in her hair. She yanks and yanks on it, leaving her hair sticking up quite unfashionably all over. Extra horned-up points if this winds up making her run late for her appointment. Chill: In this cult phenomenon, women are depicted in movie theaters, grocery stores and drafty houses where, no matter how much they adjust the blankets, nor how many pairs of scrunchy socks they put on, they just can’t seem to get warm enough. Often, the women are photographed with their arms crossed, shivering and complaining about how cold these places always are. Debit: Picture it: A crowded Old Navy store on a Saturday afternoon. An attractive woman is about to pay for her purchases when, out of nowhere, she forgets the PIN number* for her bank card. Her distress, and therefore hotness, apparently, mounts to orgasmic heights as the line of impatient shoppers gets longer and longer behind her, while she struggles in vain to call her husband or boyfriend’s cellphone to get the PIN number from them. Hot stuff! Chunk: After being married for a few years, a woman puts on her favorite dress and discovers, to her horror and our excitement, that it no longer fits her well, as she has put on a few pounds. Outfit after outfit, tight jeans that ride up her ass after tight jeans that ride up her ass, culottes after culottes, her frustration grows as nothing she owns fits to her satisfaction anymore. Practitioners of this fetish often follow it up with a hot session of “Debit”. *Why yes, I DO know that “PIN number” is redundant. Tags: animatronic, Athlete's Foot, bizarre, chill, crush, culottes, cult, debit, fetish, hairy, heels, hot dogs, IYKWIM, Old Navy, peaches, research, socks, stiletto, tangle, yogurt, zero-gravity |
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