I like turtles and monkeys are funny.  That, however is neither here nor there.  Which is the same location as George Lucas’s brain.  It is neither here, nor there.  It is completely lost.  As insane as the director was, the movies are still fantastic.

Bamboo sucks.  Seriously.  If I didn’t have a screen room or a pool, and just had a yard, I think it would be cool.  It would be mega-awesome if I could get a panda.  Oh, a panda and a koala in a Bamboo Cage Match.

Hmm.  BEAR WARS.  That would make a great television show.  Each week, the producers would pit one brand of bear against another and they would fight to the pin fall.  And now to our main event, weighing in at twenty-five hundred pounds, Arctodus Simus, undefeated in his last 230 bouts he is challenging for the world heavy bear championship of the world.  And now, the champion, sporting the green trunks and weighing in at a stout one thousand five hundred pounds… THE KODIAK!  Damn that would be cool.  The only problem is the Acto-Sim is extinct.  Oh well.

Somewhere in the episode we talked about iPhone owners.  We probably insulted them.  That’s what we do.

My girlfriend is hot.  I had hotdogs for dinner while watching Phantom Menace.  I have Ben and Jerry’s in the freezer.

Lady gaga is not a panda.  That sentence was only included so I could use it as a tag.

Thanks for listening.

-Mickey

Pig Train
Modern Family
Alyssa Milano
iPad
iPhone to Verizon
Txt & Drv
Alien Overlords
Illuminati Shadow Government Pope Pirates

In this, their finest hour, the guys talked about food, the internet, and TV… It’s much more than it sounds, trust me.

It’s that time of year again, kids go back to school, seasonal places start shutting down, and Geoff goes out of town a lot.

It’s usually good work, him being out of town. It just is hard being in a new place. At first glance, it looks like your choices for food are Taco Bell, Some Fancy Shmancy joint, and another Taco Bell. Even with the apps used between the two iPhones on the trip, it’s not always easy to find a good place to eat.

But leave it to Geoff to be resourceful and find some damn good food when he was out of town! If you don’t already, follow his twitter so you can make sure and not miss out on the many pics from his trips. This time he found a seafood looking sailboat and wood plank filled diner that served an awesome looking breakfast. And for dinner, he found a Cuban place that sold Ox Tail! He got it, of course. I was instantly curious, morbidly so, but could not find a local place that serves this. Gotta get his resources!

So has your mom joined facebook? Mine has. So far it’s been ok but I don’t think about her being on there and who knows what I might say one day. She found out Rowan took her first steps on FB, oops. Then again, I don’t have to email her pics separately anymore at least.

And finally, a sad farewell to a beloved show, Reading Rainbow. They have not kept the contract for the upcoming year. I did find out, though, that we have 2 PBS stations while looking for Reading Rainbow here.

But the real issue for me was when I saw them say that the focus is no longer on getting kids to enjoy to read but just how to read. Why can’t we do both? Seriously, all great to know how to read but if you don’t love it you’ll never use it! Whereas if you LOVE to read, you’ll figure out how sooner or later! And maybe it is time for a new show but to hear that the “focus” for children’s TV has switched? Not enlarged, not encompassed, but switched? I mean we have 80 bajillion channels, hell I have 2 PBS stations not including the Noggins or whatever they are! I think there’s room for both in our lives.

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow brought to you by Adam and Eve.

In this, their finest hour, the guys visited Apps, comedians, and comics.

So as Geoff and I get further into our iPhones, we find cooler and cooler apps. Geoff got me this tranquil thingy where you move your finger over zen like water. He also got me a poker dice game which I’m totally addicted to. And now…Myst! Yep, Myst on my iPhone. What’s your favorite app?

Between the show Friday, Geoff’s twittering, and the forum, the guys are building up quite the list of favorite comics out there. I think a top 50 will be coming soon! Who are your favorites?

And did you hear? The long discussed Archie comics debate here on SomaCow has come to an end, at least for Archie. Betty or Veronica? Who did he choose?

I’m sorry this isn’t longer. The episode is great, it’s just that I’m so full of Thai food right now I’m going to burst before I can even watch the Magic game tonight! (Last night if you’re reading this when it’s posted) so I am going to sit back and kick a pig or something.

In this hour, we discussed fanatics, cartoons in general, and Mail Order scammery from yesteryear.

I spent a good portion of this hour railing against Matt and Trey of South Park for their confusion of humor with sub-humanity. We all celebrate schadenfrueden, silliness, celebrity spoofery, and a good kick to the nuts, but I had a really hard time getting past an episode they did last year featuring Cartman and Butters engaging in oral sexual abuse. Simply put, I don’t think joking about sex abuse is hysterically funny, and I, for the first time in my life, was genuinely offended by something I watched. Not enough to write a letter to the President, just mad enough to bitch about it on an internet radio show, and then later, in a blog describing that show.

So Wednesday I turned on the TV, figuring Mickey was right (he rarely isn’t), and I should see what the guys at South Park are up to.

5th grade girls giving blow jobs in TGIF’s parking lot. 5th grade (and younger) girls demanding they be allowed to perform oral sex on the Judas Brothers.

Yeah. Funny.
Oh, Geoff! They were making a point about Disney’s sexualization of American youth!

Yeah. Valiant.

Oh, Geoff! They were satirizing to bring attention to the plaque of underage sex.

Yeah. Promethian.

Face it. Trey and Matt are dicks. Anyone greenlighting that show is a dick. You, if you watched it, thought it was fine, and are staring at these words thinking, “Prissy fat chump whiner”, are an excellent judge of my character, but you also like dicks.

The 70 foot fire breathing Mickey Mouse wasn’t even able to save this show. South Park = Over. Life’s too short to bring that shit into your house.

If you get a chance, check out the live show this week! We’ll be celebrating our 300th episode, and most probably talking about food. I don’t know why, it just happens.

Thanks for your time!

In this 2nd hour, the guys realize that Ross isn’t here! I guess hour one was so Geoff-centric that they just didn’t even notice! No seriously, they missed their producer and look forward to him being back safely from his trip to PA and back in studio this week.

Speaking of coming home, Geoff was also out of town this week but he traveled the other direction on I-75, straight into hell! Well, Ft Myers, but close enough. The only good thing for him was the per diem covered meals. While he is on Atkins, he was able to find great new restaurants with a great variety of meals, but that damn tricky sugar. He actually had one waitress tell him that there was no sugar in something and he went with his ever shrinking gut and asked the manager who said “oh no, that’s covered in our sweetest sauce”. I mean what if the sugar would have killed him? So while it was nice to have some variety and newness, eating out while out of town also can suck.

Oh but the other great thing about Ft Myers is all of the grey hair and funky clothing. Geoff poses the question as to whether those people wore the pink polo shirts with the white pants up north or did they just get them down here? And why not just make those clothes popular with the younger crowd again? Great hats maybe? Can hats make a comeback?

What clothing would you like to see come back into style? I think I’d like to see the long “t-shirts” that we wore as dresses in the 80’s…

Now see would a question like the one above make you call in? Would it make you even comment on this blog? The guys discuss with the live chat room what exactly would make them call in. Trivia? Controversy? Pop culture? What would you call in to discuss?

And would you call in on your new iPhone? I would! Yeah, Geoff got us both iPhones (but we just call them phones). They are fun and apps are fun to add. We knew it was bad when we were both sitting in front of our laptops, on our iPhones.

And don’t forget at the :40, Mickey’s life coaching about following through.

Life is supposed to be enhanced by technology, made easier, made tolerable – Where we once looked to fire to chase away the darkness, we now sit, bathed in the glow of a wall of LCD, plasma, and backlit nonsense, awash in the noise of the masses. Your children are texting you while you drive your car down the highway, trying to find the nearest Popeye’s on your GPS and fiddling with your satellite radio receiver in an effort to turn down the sound so you can better hear the voice prompts coming from the car’s computer indicating the proximity of an object in the road, but your wife is calling on the OnStar and you might as well pick it up because she just changed the online order she placed for you to pick up and you will need to clear out some space to pick up your kid from the Tweetup on the way back from 21st Century Digital Boy Scouts…

Jesus the F Christ, people. We need some quiet time. Some solitude. Some place where we can go and just decompress, and we are not talking about the bathroom. Well, I do, but only for a bit.

Where do you unplug? Where do you unbluetooth, un3g, unhook and just shut her down for the day? The Beach? Not anymore. The pool? Why, look at these wifi speakers and pool safe cell! It’s endless, invasive, and will be the downfall of our species.

I read a story by Mr. Bradbury (Ray, we called him, back then), concerning a subject who had had enough of the ever-advancing noise of technology.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Murderer – Warning, plot thief, just go buy Golden Apples of the Sun and read it.

See what he did there? How much longer til we are drowning in the sound, the sensation? Imagine when advertisers gain the right to announce sales directly to you via your car?

“This stretch of Highway 41 brought to you by Crest! Your teeth are hideous, and women will not kiss you without some Crest!”

Think I am kidding?
The episode isn’t preachy, it’s fun, and I review a self-help book a good friend introduced me to, by the name of Choice Theory. We will dig a bit deeper into the surface of this whole concept in later episodes, so feel free to acquaint yourself with some of the basic ideas in this hour. It’s not been life-altering, just…. horrendously informative.

Thanks, as always, for listening!