SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this time by House, M.D. No, seriously, we talk about that show a lot in this hour, and I apparently, am one of the last people to hear that doctors are putting maggots and leeches and bandages on their patients. Is this the 1400s? If so, Primae Noctis, bitches!
So, we discuss Mickey’s very, very frightening issue with feet. The dude can’t see them, touch them, look at his own, or even talk about socks, and has actually learned to put on his shoes by jumping into them. I don’t know, the guy has been a rock for years for me now, and all of the sudden he is coming off like a freaking pansy. It’s not like feet are Spiders.
We also talk about the necessity of a happy ending. Look, Masseuses of the world… I don’t want to get off on a rant here, but what you do isn’t relaxing, or even all that necessary, and the fact that you want to pretend you are anything other than the facilitator of a fastbatch is fine by me, but let’s be honest… The only way to “relax” a man fully would involve completion of the massage act. Oh, and guys do not let guys massage their bodies. Period. QED. See the abacus for details.
Oh! And speaking of quackery, the following “diseases” are a goddamned joke, and do not exist:
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder
Fibromyalgia
Rickets
Shingles
Plywood
Endometriosis
Restless Leg Syndrome
Irritable Bowel Syndrome (It’s called farting, you whiners!)
That all being said, there is a very real disease that can lay a man low, and cause marriages to end, and blind children, and may even bring about asphyxiation or death! I speak to you today of the dreaded GrumblyPants. Please, if you have GrumblyPants, tell your friends. And if you know someone who you think might have GrumblyPants, squirt them with some Clorox or something. For God’s Sake, Man. No one should have to go through that.
If you are in the Central Florida area, make sure you check out The Black Rabbits January 5th at Taste in College Park.
And a shout out to The Dollyrots who have been featured a few times on The Reaper!
Speaking of which, here are the songs we played by these awesome bands this week:
The Dollyrots – Tummy Tum Tum
The Dollyrots – Nobody Wants You
The Black Rabbits – Clouds in My Coffee
The Black Rabbits – Emotion
Order all three…
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