SomaCow

Since discovering I have diabetes, I have noticed the paperwork is starting to pile up. Spreadsheets and handwritten scribbly notes indicating my blood glucose readings, prescription instructions detailing the how and the why of my various medications and procedures, calorie count data referencing each food or beverage I ingest, and the sum total of those ever important carbohydrates and fats and proteins, receipts and rebate slips for expenditure tracking…

It’s going to require a filing system, and perhaps a Secretary, which is difficult, as I am already employing a Nurse, who also works as my Scribe, and spends a good amount of time working as my Shrink.

She excels as a Personal Assistant, but I think she’d be insulted if I were to ever say that out loud. She is a remarkably capable Sous Chef, and a pretty hawt Courtesan. When my eyes get too blurry, she doubles as a competent Chauffeur, mind that car on the left, would you?

She has skills in so many job sets – Bouncer, Doorwoman, Station Manager, Veterinarian, Agricultural Botanist, Lawyer, Lab Technician, Author, Graphic Artist, Personal Shopper, Day Care Operator, Teacher, Animal Husbandry Expert, Marine Biologist, Mediator, and Masseuse (or is it Masseur? I never remember… She is the one that isn’t a seven foot blond dude named Hampus).

Above it all, she is an amazing Wife, and Mother to our child(ren, in case we have more and they go back and read this. Kids, if you are reading this, stop doing whatever it is that you are doing that annoys your father.)

I am so happy she is mine. I have no idea how I would have gotten through these last two weeks without her, and I am thankful none of us had to find out.

Thank you, Jen.Happy Anniversary to you, I hope for many years to come. I could win the lottery once a week and not have enough to recompense you for all that you do, for me and our family.

But if I DID employ you, I would never pick a shitty, murderous insurance plan like United Healthcare. Seriously… What the fuck is wrong with those people? Is the organization run by a ghoul, lusting for dead human flesh?

 

 SomaCow 304: What Else Should We Be? [59:26m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by twitter.com/comasowjen. She does a lot around here, and only gets credit for the mistakes and mishaps. We apologize for that.

In this hour, we take time out to apologize to our listeners, each other, society at large, puppies great and small, heteros, and any gypsies we may have misaligned. It isn’t really our fault, we’re just large that way.

J’s Newsbomb picked up a sponsor! Foofa’s… ermm…. two way petting zoo? Okay, maybe that was a lark, but I hear tell next week the Newsbomb will be sponsored by… twitter.com/ihateelross? Jesus! I guess we can make our fortune off of listener vendettas… Why not?

We have a lot to be sorry for, between blathering about points (oh! That reminds me! March’s giveaway is in just a few days, so if you are going to make the cut and win the $50.00 from Amazon, you might want to get to it asap, pdq, rtfn, etc.) to dodging Ross’s tale about his dead aunt. I know we will find a way to fit it in this week, Ross, I promise!

If you know of a way Mickey can apologize to our listeners for his purporting of a false rumor regarding gasoline prices, please let me know at moo@somacow.com – I know he does not want to pump gas in a puffy paint shirt. Maybe he can just clean windshields, or install extra ram, or blow on soup to cool it for you guys. Just say the word, cause Lord knows we aims to please.

Our new forum is swollen with members, 50 joined on last week, so if you want to discuss topics we talk about here, or your own individual unground axes, swing by and log in and get wordy with it. I look forward to hearing from you, and really appreciate everyone that has joined up already. Thanks!

 

 162: See You Soon, Id. Id [1:02:56m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Jen from Say… Anything

Hi guys! So this was the first week without me, Jen, as the Producer. The guys decided that the pregnancy was making me a little too emotional and me crying in the talk back had proved too much for them to handle.

So they brought in Ross. I think he’ll do well. I had to remind him to write down the music played, and the studio has a bit more of a man smell on Sundays, but I think I pounded home how important it is to hit record! He seems to be doing well. Geoff wanted to give him my laptop so he could interact but then what would I do? So I cried, and they relented, and I still have my trusty laptop to hang out with you guys Sundays in Ustream :)

But hark! Ross is still in training and all of a sudden they are giving him the hopper (yeah, I’ve only been asking to do that since the old days) and letting him talk on the mic!?! I mean what the hell? See here’s the thing folks, it is very well documented that women can multi-task and guys can’t and Ross is a guy and I am a woman. See what I’m saying? Yeah, I thought so. Not bitter!

No, seriously, Ross is going to do an awesome job and I’m going to enjoy spending these last few weeks of my pregnancy sitting in a comfortable chair…or bed…and listening and laughing with all of you!

This year working with SomaCow has been fantastic. Not only because I got to work next to my best friend, Geoff, and my good friend, Mickey, and the lone voice of reason in this posse, J, but also because I love the show and I love to produce. I wanted more time to do things around the house, nest you could say, but I didn’t want to lose the producer position. Somewhere in my mind I pictured me being able to continue doing everything and just adding the SomaCalf into our lives, but I realize as the time draws nearer that this is not the case. So, with a slightly heavy heart but with all the confidence in the world, I have handed this trusty job over to Ross.

Oh, I’ll still be around (you can always catch me on Say… Anything LIVE Tuesdays 7-8 PM Eastern). I have a feeling a proud dad will want to show off his daughter once or a million times so we’ll be close by. Maybe by the pool, but we’ll be listening. Hmm, how old can she be until she shouldn’t listen anymore? Eh, we’ll worry about that later. I’m seriously excited about being a mom. I talked about it some on a recent episode of Say… Anything but I love being a podcaster, producer, my-other-job-worker, wife and I didn’t know how mom fit in as it seemed some of those were being taken away. What I’ve come to realize, is that being a mom is a damn cool thing, and I can still love and support the show, just from another room.

I think my favorite part of producing for SomaCow was being “silent”. It’s kind of like when you’re having sex and someone else is in the next room over so you have to be quiet…it SO intensifies the experience. Do you know how hard it is to try to be professional, and keep levels in check, and write notes for the blog, while also stifling your laughter every 2 minutes? Yeah, it’s hard.

This wouldn’t be a Jen blog without me throwing in a question for you guys. See, I do this when I help out and write the blogs so you’ll comment so… comment! *ahem* What is your favorite SomaCow memory from the last year? What made you laugh the most?

A brief synopsis of this episode…the guys love trivia (listen this Sunday to find out how they did!), there is a guy in the Army being picked on for being an Atheist (and he made a pretty good comment, if I may say so), J said a really funny line about tang and I cracked up (would have been hard to keep silent for that one), The Bible’s in a bunch of languages, religion vs science is discussed, Geoff does his Weekly Constitutional on a classic-Jelly Belly, bowling for boobs rocks as does fat guy olympics.

Check out this music played (thanks Ross for the notes!):

• NOFX – The Separation of Church & Skate
• NOFX – Franco Unamerican

See you all on Sunday! (click on that highlighted word “Sunday” to see where we all meet 2-5 PM Eastern every Sunday)