Geoff gets a Wii
Wii Must Have Games?
Wii = Gateway Game System?
Top Games of the Year
Interactive Games?
Games Pron
PS vs XBox Gaming
Kindle Debate
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button MOVIE OF THE WEEK
KoL

So which is it? “Twenty Ten” or “Two Thousand Ten”? hmmm

Either way, Happy New Year!

In this hour, we talk about Ross’s dereliction of dress, we congratulate our new Listener of the Month, and a bunch of other loosey goosey.

RUFF

RUFF

RUFF

SomaCow is brought to you in this hour by adamandeve.com – They have a wide variety of quality adult products, and we recommend them to you. Seriously. Go buy stuff, and type in the word “Moo” for a damned decent discount.

In this hour, we discussed Da Rain, again, falling on our heads like a tragedy. I want to know, have you ever seen the rain? Red rain, or Purple Rain, coming down. If we sound a bit whiny, blame it on the rain, yeah. No point in Crying in the rain, though, cause you Can’t Keep the Rain from Getting In, no. In a weird way, I’m Only Happy When It Rains, but I have heard It Never Rains in Southern California. No, Let It Rain, and We’ll be Naked in the Rain, the Cold November Rain. Though this is barely June yet, Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head. Who’ll Stop the Rain?

Seriously. It’s precipitatious, baby.

We chatted some about the recent Jen Cookian CF13 News Tweetup, which I was sad to have missed, but Mickey and J and Ross and Jen and Rowan and half the damned network managed to make it to, so, good. I apparently missed out on free margaritas and meeting cool people and magic tricks and more. Damnit. Perhaps next time. We really like Madame Cook.

We also took a live call from Mister 32 in Vegas, who assaulted the roulette tables in our honor, probably breaking six laws involving betting across a Ustream Chat interface. I again thank him for calling in – Made my night. I have a gambling problem, as evidenced by my 120,000,000 meat debt in the Kingdom of Loathing. What kind of a loser loses the financial equivalent of 240 dollars in an internet video game? It’s Just Geoffy.

Jesus Wept.

Enjoy the show, and drink more Starbucks!

We spent quite a bit of this hour discussing the deliciousness of Bacon. I am okay with that. It needed to be done.

What I was not expecting was the massive outpouring of Bacon feedback. Our inboxes are overflowing with all things chewy, salty, savory, and grease-soaked. J is reportedly ecstatic. Mickey may smile.

Allow me to take this opportunity to share the sheer Baconicity of our Listeners, with links aplenty for you to snarf down. Happy artery hardening!

http://bacontoday.com – This handy li’l gem comes from MalibuPJ, consisting of a full blown daily digest of all things Bbacony. It’s chock-filled with recipes, true stories of Bacon-Justice, and plenty of meaty articles. She points out the TurBaconducken, which is a mouthful in all senses of the word. Yes. Turkey, duck, chicken…. All lovingly wrapped and rendered in the sheerest, shimmering Porquoise.

http://bacontwits.com – The Greatest Tool for the Twittering Public, Ever. Glenn Webber clued us in to this. It’s a fast paced world in which we live today, and sometimes the more sizzly, important things in life get lost in the shuffle. With BaconTwits, missed BaconTweets are a thing of the past, as the site lovingly reproduces any and all messages containing the delicious five-letter term for happiness. Join in the conversation, as hundreds, nay thousands seek to do the impossible: Convey their love for Bacon in 140 characters or less.

For The Love Of Bacon – Noelle Carter, Los Angeles Times – Never to be outdone, BGDLE, ChrisP sends us a crispy portal that leads only to madness. Salivate with me, then, if you will, to the concepts of a Apple-Bacon Coffeecake. Too sweet? Then cleanse thy palate with a savory Bacontini. I am not making this stuff up people. This is REAL, this is Elementary dear, Elementary, Watson, Elementary, aaaarrgghh!

There ain’t nowhere to run. Bacon will have us all. So I say it is time. A few people have tried it, but we need to do what SomaCow does best (following great ideas through to their realization) and celebrate a full international Bacon Convention.

That’s right, people! BaCon, 2oo9! Let’s make it happen!

Imagine the possibilities!

We could have BacOffs, where competitors armed only with a pan and a gas flame struggle to achieve the perfect ratio of fatty to lean cooked Bacons.

Ba-confit (Frenchy!), where high-minded individuals seek to create Baconsserts (delicious Bacon-desserts, designed for wine pairing)!

BaCongress, where a council of elders works to answer the great Baconundrums of our generation: Is maple flavoring a good thing? Should people that like their Bacon burnt be ostracized, or is any lover of Bacon welcome at the table? Just what IS Fatback, and how can we get our hands on some of it?  Is Bacon from Canadia REALLY Bacon, or is it just ham?

Oh, the ideas are spattering in my brain-pan, baby. It almost hurts.

We, the three wise men (and Ross) strive each week to bring gold, BACONsense, and Mirth.  We’re doing it live tonight (Friday) at 7pm eastern.

I need a friggen drink. See y’all tonight, Live in the Ustream!

Bacon Related articles

• Turbaconducken
• Bacon Art
• Chicken, bacon & asparagus rolls
• Mr. Bacon Pant’s Ultimate Bacon Gift Guide
• Top 10 Bacon Gadgets
• The Bacon Flowchart
• Bacon – UnWrapped
• I Heart Bacon

In this episode the guys talk about beefs, small packages, and porn!

You know, having a baby sure does change your life. And I’m not talking about the physical act of birthing the baby, I mean just having one around. You might say “duh” but let me tell you… For the last 9 years, until 4 months ago, Geoff was a night owl. He would be up until 1 am easily watching TV, playing on the computer… I can’t count the number of times I fell asleep sitting up just trying to keep up with him. But that baby…you suddenly have all of these new worries, or, if they are the same worries, they are 10 times more worrisome now… Is the baby eating enough? Too much? How will I pay for her college? Is she happy? Will I lose my job? Who will watch her? Will she take the bottle???

And while I worry about them, Geoff works 60 hour weeks, puts on a great show, and spends as much time as he can with Rowan, all along worrying about the above and 100 other things. I’m glad he worries, I’m glad to know I’m not alone, and it’s good he thinks about these things and doesn’t just shrug things off until the worst happens.The worrying never goes away, though, does it?

So anyway, yeah, I’m using this blog space to type this (what else will I do with the notes I have ha! *wink*) as Geoff has passed out next to me at 9 PM and has to be up again early tomorrow morning. I’ll be sure to also throw his bedtime clothes on.

So in this episode, where Geoff, Mickey, J, and the live chatroom were definitely not sleeping, McDonalds was blamed for the meatpocalypse. Then Mickey talked about his small package and gave us all an update. Thanks Mickey!

After that they went into porn and the Chinese Milk drama. I can not wait to go back and listen to THAT segue!

Most importantly, birthdays were talked about. Who doesn’t love a birthday?? Well, Ross is hitting a big one (not the rolled up or water or gravity style, his age silly) and we hear he is having some kind of get together. Rumor has it maybe some trivia involved? We are so there!

So Ross, Happy Birthday. Despite what the song says, you are special!

And Geoff’s birthday is coming up and we are planning some mega-eating for that one. Check in, we’ll keep you posted on where and when but for now, pencil in Saturday, October 25th for some eating!

And in this week’s Weekly Constitutional (which he really does have to do in the bathroom, when else would he have time?) Geoff laments the fact that his Borders was going out of business. The only good thing? The number of books he got for next to nothing! But it is sad…all the little independent stores are practically gone and now the big ones, too?

What isn’t gone is our great music played this episode:

• Dirty Wormz – Top of the Food Chain
• No More Kings – God Breathed

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How to describe Kingdom of Loathing? It’s an adventure game, to be sure, but it is a “minimalist” adventure game. No sounds. No animation. No “Gore Level” settings. No warning that it might induce an epileptic seizure from flashy-lights. You just click on things to do, or places to go, and you are presented with a description of the results, along with a picture of what happened. Well, “picture” is not exactly the right word. More like “sketch”. No. More like “Etch-a-Sketch”.

“ZOMG, J, that sounds more boring than that time you blogged about your trip to Mitten World!”, you may be saying. But, as usual, you would be wrong.

Don’t let the simplicity fool you. This is probably the most clever and creative game since “Victoria’s Secret: The Stubborn Understains”. The characters are funny. The weapons and armor are funny. The places are funny. I guarantee that you, the player, will be the only possible unfunny aspect of the whole experience.

Let me give you an example of how a mighty battle might take place.

Let’s say that you have combined your “Fortune 500 Cookie” with a “Glorioski” in order to create the “Fortune and Glory”, an object which allows you to pass through the “Glory Hole” into the “Unsanitary Toilet Stall”. You are armed with the mighty sword “Formercalibur” and wish to engage in combat with the “Flagrant Homosexual”:

“A garishly-clad man with a hypnotic ascot leaps guiltily up at your approach. He draws his Meat Sword, but you counter with your Sly Wink spell. You have vanquished the fairy, but the aroma from the toilet does not promise treasure. It promises a prescription for antibiotics in your immediate future. You gain 2 GayBashiness.”

What could be more fun than that?!

I was a little frustrated, at first, that I played and played and played and could not progress above level three. But, then Mickey pointed out that what I was playing was actuallythe instructions for the game, so that was my fault, really.

Try KoL out for yourself. I promise you’ll love it.

And if not, you can kiss my “Glistening Mushroom Cap of Swollenness”.

So this week I was asked, “What does Ross do exactly? Cause it looks like he is just on twitter the whole show?” And, being the supportive friend that I am, told them that he has to watch levels and take notes so that Geoff (or I) can write the blog!

So as Geoff has fallen asleep right before rollover. I made sure he had his bedtime outfit on and jumped online. I pulled the infamous green book down off the shelf and on one page, triple spaced, are the following notes from Ross.

“Paper Towels Masturbation Chat”. Wow. That sounds painful guys! I mean I have heard of tissues, maybe even a nearby towel, but paper towels??

“Deoderant Choices Mickey’s Bust”. Now, I know that Mickey is a self-proclaimed sweater but has he really gone so far off the (Atkins) wagon that he now has moobs that require that oh-so-fresh protection? Ew.

“Mickey’s Rumor Paying Off McDonalds”. So we are all trying to be part of the solution.

And Mickey is taking the profits and paying off McDonalds? Maybe they were keeping his moob secret a…well…secret?

What wasn’t a secret is the music played this hour:

• The Gaslight Anthem -  The 59 Sound
• Dearestazazel – Sex is a Sin

“I heard a rumor that gas prices would be one dollar per gallon by March of 2009!”

Right off the bat, as promised, I just wanted to provide the link to “Office Space” as a drama:

http://www.thetrailermash.com/office-space-drama/

Sorry, still cracks me up.

In this hour, we break free from topicality and attempt to center the holy light of our podcast onto the shining countenance of our very own Mickey. New listeners can get up to speed on what makes this production dynamo tick, and old listeners can compare this episode’s lies with previous lies and see which lies lie best!

We talk about my good, good friend quite a bit, and so I will just add a simple game here in the blog. Winner gets a free slap and tickle!

Better know a Mickey:

Mickey works at “The Facility” – what industry does the facility cater to?

Mickey lived in Georgia at one point. I know, ick, right? What town did he call home for the most part in that awful, awful state?

Mickey has a Chick. The chick once ordered “the most look-at-me food” in existence. What dish says “PAY ATTENTION TO ME!”?

Add up your scores, and let me know how you did!

While enjoying an hour of Mickey, we also cavorted (yeah, I said cavorted) to the following bands:

• Gogol Bordello – Supertheory of Supereverything
• Goldfinger – Handjobs for Jesus

In this hour, we complained about wikipedia, podcasters, J, luauers (people that luau), Shia the Beefs, harmonicas, Charlie Chaplin, and the Death of Chivalry. We were going to discuss great comedy partners, but, apparently, “Simpsons did it”.

So, why am I in such a bad mood? I have a great kid, a truly loving wife, powerful smelling friends with no active plots to destroy me, a decent job, and three pooches to boot. How could I possibly be so hissy and pissy when “a pack of blessings lights up upon my back”?

I really don’t know. I get a lot of enjoyment out of Kingdom of Loathing (sign up, Heard!), and spending time with the baby and wife, but otherwise, I am just seeing red lately. At work, we have a sign. The sign reads “No Solicitation”. I would think that that implies, “Do Not Try To Sell Us Your Scammy Copiers, Nor Your Free Delivery of Overpriced Sub Sandwiches, Nor Even Will We Give You Money, Even If You Just Need It To Catch a Bus and See Your 14-month Pregnant Wife”.

It apparently, does not. Today i was accosted by “the Gallery Rep”, who wanted us to buy 45 dollar cheap brass laminate framed Thomas Kinkade Art. I snarked, swore, and slammed the door.

WTF is up my butt? I normally LIKE breaks in the day like that…

I think I need some sessy time… Something.

Anyway, we had a good show, but in retrospect, we pick on J too much. I will give twenty dollars to the first listener that catches me being uncivil to J without reason, from here on out. See you in the Ustream, Saturday at 1:00 PM Eastern!

We fumed while rocking out to the following great bands:

• Goldfinger – War
• Wes Charlton – Daytime Blues

In brief, I’ll attempt to explain. We at SomaCow worry about people that play the World of Warcraft. Hundreds upon thousands of hours are dumped each year into a glorified, shiny, and incredibly neat sounding game of “fetch”. Proponents of WoW can argue until they are Night-Elf-faced in the face, but that really IS all that their pastime is based on. Go here, collect this, bring it there. It’s pizza delivery-level interaction, and we demand more.

More high-resolution, lifelike graphics? More ethereal, soul stirring music? Not so much.

Kingdom of Loathing takes everything that is good about the mmorpg universe, and churns out a dizzying level of depth, humor, and high adventure, all for the low monthly price of free. Seriously. Free. You pay nothing. I mean, sure, if you donate ten bucks, you get a Mr. Accessory, but that’s really just a neat side benefit, and not anything integral to the plot and advancement of the game.

You log in once a day, or every other day, or whatever. When you do, your turns will be waiting for you. You spend turns doing stuff, be it fetch, or cooking, or exploring, or fighting other players, and you can extend the base turn limit each day by eating and swilling sweet, sweet booze. Seriously, this game has more cocktails than a Mexican’s backyard. What? They chickenfight, take it up with them!

By the time you are addicted, your turns are spent, and there is very little left for you to do than go shower, and cook for your family, and read, and get some sun, and hold down a job, and all those other awesome things that you neglected wasting so much time playing WoW. Kingdom of Loathing goes deeper, holds tighter, and takes WAY less of your precious time and resources in return. It’s better than sex! Well, no. But it’s better than flossing, hands down!

We’re all on there, hanging out in clan SomaCow, which you are welcome to join. Sign up, have some fun, and meet new people… It’s what the internet should always be about.

A little backstory, here – In Kingdom of Loathing, the currency is known as “meat“. While I was typing this, user kmueller93, a complete stranger, noticed I was low on meat. So, she sent me meat. A crap ton. Like, significant digits of meats.

I am now rich with meat, and will be touring the mall looking for some better pants to wear. Life is good!

We sat around pantless til now to the great music of:

The Slackers