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Neighbors done looking at you yet? Good.
In this, our… um… Hour, we discussed a myriad of topics, both sophomoric and profound. We ran the gambit of gabbery on a gadabout glorious… We attacked the tough issues facing Amer….
Okay, it was straight fart talk for twenty minutes. But that is to be expected at this point. We all had a lotta ribs and beefs, and that makes for this type of discussion. Surely you can understand. We bravely attempted to pull the show out of its nosedive of frappery with a topic on steakhouses – specifically, is the steakhouse dying? Why are all the chains dropping in quality or shutting their doors? Look at the facts:
Outback – Sucked. No two bones about it, whatever they are doing today (dry bread, yellow salads, tough beefs, dumb staff) is a pale shell of what they once had going on
Longhorn – Salted beefs? My mamma always said, if you gotta put that much seasoning on, you are trying to hide something. What is the secret to your salty beefs, oh Horn of Assumed Length?
Image via Wikipedia
Roadhouse – Closed, assumed Orlando bankrupt. I will miss your yeasty bounty, and bloody medium rare beefs most of all, scarecrow
Steak and Ale – Someone finally put the fork in this cheesy seventies franchise. Gasp! Where will rude dumb teenagers hold their post-graduation dinners now?!
It doesn’t leave us with much, does it folks?
Houstons? Overpriced at best – Seriously – who is paying 12 dollars for a baked potato? It’s a TUBER, for Christ’s sake!
Fleming’s – I’ve never been, how is it?
Image via Wikipedia
Ruth’s Chris – a fascinating establishment, capable of delivering a steak that tastes like it sat in a bowl of Redenbacher’s finest overnight. By which I mean to say, your butter has beef flavor on it.
Ted’s – I would pay a hundred dollars to eat at Ted’s, to try a Ted on the
side, and wash it down with a Ted.
We, sadly, went all D and D at the end. Mickey tried to save us with some good Life Coaching at the :42, but the damage was done, and we never really recovered.
We sat for three hours waiting for our salads, listening to the following great music:
- Mad Caddies – Villians
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