SomaCow

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by PlentyofFish.com – When s*&% goes south, they’re there to help you find Mr. or Ms. Right for Right Now with a quickness!

So, I was rebuffed in my efforts to welcome a new show here to the network, as it seems the cohosts slotted to fill that bill are no longer… “into” it. Shame, but that is the way of love. I am just hoping that Mickey and The Chick That He Is No Longer Dating, But Remains Amicable With For Now While They Serve Out Their Lease are each happy when the dust from this all settles.

Love is weird, whether you are single and dating, or being a part of a traditional relationship. Simple logic would seem to indicate that men and women should be together, and yet society, our own lusts, and a multitude of other reasons always culminate in our often messy and usually painful break ups. With so many classifications existing now to describe your “way” of being with another, from F-buddy to life partner to booty call to platonic friend to soul mate to the ol’ ball and chain to sweetheart to wife and back again… As a species, we sure have a lot of names for “mate”.

We all look forward to living vicariously through Mickey, as he thrusts forth into the wading pool of modern dating, and hope to develop significant topic mileage out of his triumphs and pratfalls as he goes to find the new CTHWBD.

Seriously, ladies. He’s a catch. Pay no attention to his modest self-descriptions. Maybe I will go make him a profile at PoF.com now. Hmm.

I mean hell, he beats this guy:

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member8445197.htm

Hey folks.  Just a side note from us folks down at the production staff.  We are normally given a list of topics and from those we create the cover for each show.  Before the “announcement” (seriously, how pathetic was that?) we were paid by a sponsor to slip their info into the cover.

This was supposed to be the cover before cry-boy took the spotlight:

The good thing about the breakup is that he has stopped yelling at us and throwing shit around the room.  He just sits in his office sobbing like a wounded beef-a-lo.

Tags: advice, breakups, chick, comedy, dating, Life partner, love, Mickey Miller, orlando, Platonic love, plenty of fish, Podcast, radio, relationships, Romance, Single, somacow, Swimming pool, talk

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Jesus. For all your savior needs, drink Jesus Christ!

Fah who for-aze, Dan yelsza hor aye!

In this J-free hour of SomaCow, Mickey and I entertain ourselves discussing Easter, and religion, and the creepiness of my neighbors, who constantly stare at my pale, quivering nakedness. I, as a man, a man’s man, a guy, a dude, contend that if I own 6 feet of privacy fencing that forms a perimeter around my property, I should be allowed to take my morning coffee and smoke with all my jumblies left out for the world to see. Somehow, the old couple that live catty-corner (I hate that term) to me seem to pick those EXACT naked moments to stand at their sliding glass door and stare at my junk. It’s creepy, and no matter how much I try to wiggle it at them, they simply will not go away and leave me in peace. Am I in the wrong? Where ELSE can a man be naked but in his own yard? More so, I only have a few precious weeks left of “naked time” in general, before the arrival of my daughter. I need every minute of sun-soaked johnson time I can get!

Anyway, we spent some time on the Holiday, which I hope you all enjoyed, and we invited the girls of Say Anything in for a few shows. We thank them for helping us make radio history, as we devoted an entire segment to eating Cadbury Creme Eggs, a true Easter tradition as far as I am concerned. Have you people tried the new varieties? The Reese’s product is obviously superior, but I will entertain other submissions, should you feel the need.

We have some new stickers in, and will most probably be getting coozie and faubs soon as well. If you would like any of that stuff, just send a SASE to:

SomaCow Media, Inc.

PO Box 162224

Altamonte Springs, FL 32716-2224

And throw in a buck or two to defray costs if you want a coozie. Coozy? How the hell DO you spell that?

We brought up an interesting point: the relationship between business persons and religion, and how it is easier for some folks to search within their own pew for like-minds to engage for their financial dealings. It’s creepy to me to consider a guy picking a plumber based on that guys willingness to believe certain aspects of a dogma, but to each their own. I just think it’s tacky to put an actual Jesus Fish/scripture ON YOUR LOGO. Weirdos. Whatever the business owner thinks is coming across, all I am hearing is, “I am using God to make a buck”. Sinner.

And we talked about the girls, and how proud our network is of the longest running show we’ve ever worked with. You guys really need to try out Say Anything. Chicks talking about Life, Love, and Sex. It’s a lot of what’s right in podcasting, and we love what they do. And not just cause they would hit us if we said otherwise. I am serious. After Debe left the studio, I found a straw wrapper formed into a noose. That girl is scary.

Not scary? The following great bands that we featured in this hour!

• Hot One – Get Your Priest On
• No More Kings – God Breathed
• Flogging Molly – Us of Lesser Gods

Tags: anything, business, cadbury, chick, christ, comedy, coozie, coozy, creme, debe, easter, egg, faub, fish, holiday, hot, independant, independent, internet, jen, jesus, jumblies, kings, life, love, more, music, naked, neigbors, no, noose, one, orlando, peeping, Podcast, radio, reese's, religion, sase, say, scripture, sex, somacow, stickers, talk

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by Say… Anything. Listen to three chicks talk about life, love and sex… For free!

We fired up some new intros, and the Hopper rejected them. After a quack recovery, Mickey informed us that this week has just been an all around bad time for him on the technological front. It seems he destroyed his laptop, mouse, desk, and much of the east bedroom at his house. Dude really is Powder… So nice and sweet, and then he gets into a rage and metal starts flying.

We discuss my inherent need to be on the internet, possibly to now include the installation of a swivel arm mounted computer in my bathroom. It just kills me to know that I could be playing scrabulous or posting some snarky reply to a podcasting forum, if only I didn’t take such lengthy trips to the can. It’s a family tradition, it would seem, because I remember many a night I would sit in the living room and stare at the hallway to the bathroom, wondering when dad would emerge again from his epic shits. Dude had a TV, the hotline to the radio station, a telephone, a CB hookup, 2,000 playboys, and several transistor radios, all around an avocado throne.

We bore down on a topic near and dear to my wallet, namely, the Long Distance Relationship. Mickey regales us with a tale from his youthful days, when he was a child and she was a child in a kingdom named Big P. Sad, truly. I told of my ill-fated relationship with a Polack in Mamaroneck (Sorry again about all that!), and J informed us that he was born married to his wife.

What’s the biggest bill you ever ran up talking to the opposite sex? 900 numbers included, you dirty, dirty people.

Hey, while we have a moment…. Did you know that SCM is giving away a free iTouch? S’true. Click the test at SomaCow.com and get into the running now!

So, we at SomaCow frequently make it our goal to explore the mysterious of mankind, and better understand what it means to be a man. Today’s topic of interest – Goatees and Van Dykes. WTF is the deal with this ubiquitous facial fur? Bald guys, hairy guys, emo boys, punk rockers…. I cannot throw a rock without hitting six dudes that have a big satan beard all over their chin. Is this the pinnacle of our beardery? I hope not. I look to my good friend and trendsetter Elross for all my bearding advice.
Don’t forget to check out Mickey’s Life Coaching at the :40 – Topic this week: Sprinkle some happiness!

Is it okay for a guy to hug a guy? How do you hug?

We gay right the hell out of this episode with a brief history of the love that dares to squeeze the charmin.

We beared up on the following great artists in this episode:

• Oppenheimer – This Is Not a Test
• Punchline – Flashlight
• Jeff Howell – A Pretty Little Thing Put a Hurtin’ on Me

Tags: 900, alternative, anything, bathroom, beards, bill, chat, chicks, comedy, destroy laptop, distance, dykes, forum, free, goatees, hopper, howell, independant, independent, internet, itouch, jeff, ldr, life, long, love, mamaroneck, numbers, oppenheimer, orlando, phone, Podcast, polack, powder, punchline, radio, read, relationship, say, scrabulous, sex, talk, van