Originally hitched at SomaCow.com
In this hour, we discussed Estonian door-to-door sales shmucks, our manly things of the weeks, and we took a call from The Uberbastard, Chris, in response to my dilemma of etiquette.
Still no idea how to proceed with that, by the way. Anyone know how long it takes to get to Miami?
I have been trying to determine if a man, man, man gets married, lately. Mickey is currently single, and enjoying the bachelor life. He sleeps where, when, and with whom he pleases, eats when he is hungry, has a stellar couch and TV, and so forth. These trappings are all man, man, man.
I, however, spend many a day talking to the baby, helping to pick out some cute bowls at Target, and discussing nutrition.
J spends his entire life picking up and returning things to Pier One, Sticks and Stuff, Thom McAnn, Claire’s, Kohl’s, Macy’s, etc.
It would seem marriage is a giant emasculation sham, and shifts men from “Self-Absorbed Hunter” to “Gopher and Cuticle-Trimmer”. Maybe this is why married guys convert their garages to “purposed” rooms.
Tonight I want to go see the Perseid Meteor Shower. It is certainly a thing I would have done when I was single, no questions asked. But now I need to weigh it against,
“Do I want my kid out in all those mosquitos”"
“Should I be asking my wife to sit up with me all night when I usually have to throw water on her to get her to stay awake through 10:00PM?”
“Will I get enough sleep to be functional at work tomorrow, so I can continue to pay the mortgage?”
“Have I got baby-safe mosquito repellant?”
“What about the dogs? All three in the car seems like a pain”
“Where is a safe place to park, off someone’s land, away from all light sources, yet not in a swamp, yet with a clear view?”
“Better make sure the phones are charged in case there is an emergency”
“Should I take the pack-and-play?”
“What if everyone gets hungry? I should make up some food, but I need a cooler, and ice.”
“Should I bring a sweater for Jen in case she gets cold”
“Do we have folding chairs anymore? Where the hell are those things?”
“Have I got all the baby wipes, diapers, gripe water, orajel, balmx, aveeno skin cream, tissues, toys, and sippy cups?”
“Have I got a back brace, in case Jen gets randy?”
Oh. It’s already 5:00 AM… guess I missed the show.
I probably should not screw up my family’s sleep cycle just to go watch rocks fall out of the sky. But I am. Weird.
Tags: baby, bachelor, comedy, etiquette, internet, meteor, miami, orlando, perseid, Podcast, radio, sales, shower, somacow, southwestern, talk, uberbastard, wedding
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