SomaCow

SomaCow Media Networks is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you by The Southern Classic Gun and Knife Show.

Normally,  this space is used to describe what went on during the show to which you are about to listen.  Let me give you a brief rundown, we discuss sickness, the coming apocalypse, J’s meat, J’s meat in Geoff’s mouth, plans for economic recovery, mortgage strategies, Dr. Phil, the future history, and the next President.

We also discuss the need of a whittler in every post-apocalyptic clan.

With that being said, I want to remind everyone to abstain from voting.  Leonardo DiCarprio told me that I shouldn’t vote.  He makes a good point.  At this point in time, every opion, every choice, seems to be a turn for the worst.

I will be running for an elected office soon, and when I do, I can promise that I will not fuck things up worse than they already are.  I will provide the people with CHOPE.  I believe the Beatles once said, “All you need is Chope, Chope… Chope is all you need.”  I have tonnes of CHOPE (and since I wrote it like a British person, or Madonna, that makes me look smarter and more qualified).  I have so much CHOPE, that I leave CHOAP residue in the shower.  I have enough to CHOPE to give each taxpayer enough CHOPE to hang themselves.  I am so full of CHOPE that Catholics call me CHOPE Benedict XVI.  I will make sure each school is equipped with a teleCHOPE and a microCHOPE to ensure that “Childrens do lurn”.  I will have the government buy each doctor a stethaCHOPE when they graduate medical school, in hopes of lowering medical bills.  I promise that only legal immigrants will be invovled in trimming my CHOPE’iary.

When the time comes, if you are able, I CHOPE you will vote for me.  I only CHOPE it isn’t to late to save this great country, this land of ours, this shining city on the hill.  Maybe with a little CHOPE and water we can clean the stains off of our reputation.  Some will say that I am leading this country down a slippery CHOPE, but I say it is a slippery CHOPE of goodness and smiles and tickly giggly happy feelings.

I am Mickey, and I approve this message.

Paid for by the Vote for CHOPE campaign.

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Tags: chope, European Capital of Culture, Garden, health, Liverpool, Madonna, Medical school, money, Pope Benedict XVI, Roman Catholic Church, Topiary, United States

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow brought to you by the fine folks at Amazon.com where Mickey and ‘The Chick-en‘ are… registered?

Yes, Mickey shared some great news with us in this hour. For those of you non-engaged type folks out there, how much money would you need to make to get married? 10 grand? 40 grand? PSHAW! If you click here you can help our dear pale patriot’s dream become a reality.

On a lighter note…well, not really, but can you say “On a heavier note”?… Some Mormons (technically, they were not Mormons, but they seem Mormony) allegedly screwed the wrong chickens, or chicks, and a 16-year-old called in for help and help done came. This time there were no tanks or flaming deaths as officials raided a compound and rescued 200 women and children. Just what kind of line do you use to get that many women to come and live as your sex slave? “No babe may enter the kingdom of heaven but through a threeway with me.” doesn’t seem to cut it, sadly. All this religious talk leads us to believe we should start a religion. All we need is a name.

I think that church might make you feel more connected to people. I remember when we first moved into my house, a neighbor told us how our house was always known for being the place to stop and pick oranges after Mass for the local Catholic church. First thing I did after that was erect a six foot privacy fence with a latchless gate.

Keep your child touching hands off my citrus, freaks! (I think they may be sneaking in around the base. The pious are known diggers!)

Mickey’s wisdom-filled Life Coaching segment at the :40 expounds upon the belief that life is just not fair. Inspirational, truly!

Ending on a bit of a downer, we discuss the death of the shuttle program, the possible massive layoffs that may entail for Brevard county, and the frustrating lack of new science projects. What the hell are we wasting all our money on in this country? Some Sand-War? PLEASE.

If I were shot into space tomorrow, all I would ask for would be a mix tape containing these bands!

• In Stereo – Digging up the Bride
• They Might Be Giants – Spider
• Snog – One Grain of Sand
• Gogol Bordello – American Wedding

Tags: amazon, church, compound, ellen, engaged, in stereo, independant, independent, indie, indy, internet, money, mormon, music, nasa, oprah, orlando, Podcast, radio, registered, religion, snog, talk, they might be giants, tmbg

SomaCow Media, Inc. is ashamed to be associated with this episode of SomaCow, brought to you this week in spite of good taste and sensibility.

Geoff is incredibly offensive and rude to people in this hour, and I only hope Mickey, J, and our listener can forgive him for such offensive material.

Mickey makes a special announcement concerning The Chick That He Is Dating and himself. I don’t know how you get a guy to go through all that again! WTG, Mickey!

When Geoff isn’t throwing out the R-Bomb, and making that stupid sounding Carlos Menciasque (HACK!) noise, he also manages to lower the credibility of our entire show by passing along half-cocked conspiracy theories involving nuclear power, MSN Hotmail, and your local Coffee Barista. Schmuck.

Then fatty grabs the mic and blabbers about Jenny McCarthy’s book. See if I ever read you a bedtime story again, tons of no fun!

Anyway, Mickey and J are good in this episode, so, enjoy them, and comment as you see fit. We also enjoyed the following great bands this week:

 

• Weedy Factory – Did It for the Money
• Enter the Haggis – One Last Drink

Tags: amazon, announcement, barista, bedtime story, belly, bomb, chick, coffee barista, comedy, conspiracy theories, conspiracy theory, credibility, dating, enter, entire show, factory, good taste, grabs, hack, haggis, hotmail, internet, jenny, jenny mccarthy, laughs, listener, married, mccarthy, mic, mickey, money, msn, nuclear, nuclear power, offensive material, orlando, Podcast, radio, retard, somacow, special, special announcement, spite, starbucks, talk, weedy