SomaCow

Originally turfed at http://somacow.com

Sherlock Holmes
The Sequel
Death of the Moovie of the Week?
Superhero Flicks
WTF, Thailand?
Sign the Online Petition
Rob Van Winkle Show
Boy Bands
Popped Collar
Tampa St Petersburg – Salvador Dali, Crawfish & Gambling

OK…to all of you out there, Tampa FL and St Pete FL are two very different cities. One is an old cigar place and one is just full of old people. Seriously though, very different cities, separated by water, in two different counties! You go to one for drinking, and the other for fishing. One has some tall buildings, and the other has some tall pink buildings. I’ll give you Tampa for gambling, although that is borderline Lakeland! But for those of you who might travel one day to our state, know that the Salvador Dali museum and Crabby Bills are in St Petersburg.

Thank you for listening!

Tags: boy bands, comedy, crawfish, dali, gambling, internet, moovie, museum, online petition, orlando, Podcast, pop collar, radio, rob van winkle, salvador, sequel, sherlock holmes, somacow, superhero, talk, thailand

Originally posted at SomaCow.com

In this episode, we discussed The Magic being drubbed, Ross’s bet with Felix of Prime Time Geek, the Holocaust Museum attack, and much, much more.

I want to take a moment here to address a topic that irritates me. So I will.
White Supremacy.

My whole life, I have been bumping into people that carry an extra wide chip on their shoulder regarding “White People”, and their supposed right to rule based on genetic superiority.

I’ve dealt with fat, dough-soft skinheads in school, lazily tossing up their hand and wearing shiny boots while misspelling German slogans against other races.

I’ve dealt with chinless, bird-eyed sunken-chested rednecks with bad mustaches, cavorting in sheets at night while their enormowives poison the children with McDonald’s and misinformation home school.

I’ve dealt with smug, bloodshot-eyed coffee stained infarction-awaiting beefobosses, feet crisscrossed on their desk, chewing a cigar like it was a Mannschaft, deriding minorities for their sloven laziness.

All these failtypes, hating, pushing down, fearing, cursing, attacking, loathing, and besmearing other races, based on the fact that white is RIGHT, and anything that isn’t should be shunned, removed, enslaved, deported, disenfranchised, dissolved, or even killed.

I have sad news for these folk.
White people are genetically weak. The genes that you relish, blond hair, blue eyes, fair skin? They are all recessive, and nature works hard each day to weed you out. If not for social intervention, the gross (and I mean gross) majority of white people would be gone already.

And there is nothing you can do about it. You will be a cute rarity one day, like an albino.

If you really take pride in your race, a thing over which you had no control in developing, you have very little to take pride in. If you cannot make money, or get out of jail, or find a person to love you, or provide for your family, or develop industry and commerce in your shitty little towns, or please the opposite sex in bed… Well, at least you have skin, right?

WTG, skin-haver.

I was reading something a few years back about the methods of dehumanizing employed by the nazis. There were steps that were necessary, to get a people to go from “overcharging them at the store” to “burning their corpses in broad daylight after stealing their teeth”.

The first step in that list was mockery, ridicule, or jokes concerning “their nature”.

I like a good joke, in any form. Durkha Durkha, woo woo, heyba, mang.

But sometimes it keeps me up at night, thinking about what road I am driving down when I mock people for their skin, instead of something laughable, like their religion.

Hate the Hater.

Tags: albino, attack, bet, blond, comedy, ethnicity, genetics, germans, hate, holocaust, internet, museum, orlando, Podcast, prime time geek, race, radio, skinheads, talk, the magic, white, white supremacy

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you today by ESPN radio. Please check out Ryan of zoos and museums. In Orlando, we have a significant dearth of these establishments, and it seems that any amount of funding is spotty, and usually pays just enough to renovate the establishment to a two decade old standard of presenting. I expect that is what any transient town that comes to a complete standstill whenever a penny sales tax is discussed should expect.

We talk about the possibility of charging extra to tourists for gasoline, in addition to the bed taxes we already gouge them for. If we are going to develop into a city, it has to be more than just one company’s attraction that supports us. You never know when some incredibly devout religious types might try to mix things up, and it would be good to have a system of high tech, low waste producing jobs at our fingertips… At least, more than the call centers at Convergys and AAA have given us ($7.00 an hour, w00t!!).

We discussed the possibility of developing a nerf theme park, but went soft when it got down to the nuts and bolts of the plan.

We also discussed over-reactive cops, and the anger that they are somehow allowed to have. I want you to think about the guy that strove to be hall monitor, or kickball team captain, when you were a child. That asshole was on and on about the stupidest shit, all day long, and all he ever wanted was to have a tiny bit of control, in the form of a whistle, or a stupid fluorescent sash with some fake badge, just to prove he was in authority and lord it over everyone. That little prick, it turns out, invariably grows up to be a cop, and we’re tired of it. Look, pigs. I watched SuperBad. I know what you are doing. You drive through stop lights, race around rush hour, and generally pull 7 and a half hours of dick moves every day on your shift. Yeah, you might pull one guy out of a burning car, or stop one bad guy midrape, but these are rarities, and the majority of your job is sitting, half-hidden, giving out exorbitant tickets for meaningless infractions and generally hassling the public. We’re on to you, and I am ready to arm this city with enough camcorders to keep an eye on you. Dirty Birdies.

Oh, and God, it seems, is packing. Not heat, but meat.

We toasted our wieners on the flames of the following great musics:

Sean Fournier – Paper Tiger
The Downshifters – Outlaw Bliss
Amber Pacific – Summer (In B)

(Buy and Amber Pacific T-shirt… or just gawk at the model)

Tags: aaa, alternative, angry, bad, buzz, call, camcorders, centers, convergys, cops, downshifters, espn, fournier, independant, independent, internet, museum, nerf, orlando, overreactive, park, Podcast, radio, sean, sports, super, theme, tourist, zoo