SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Game Show Radio! Check out Ross and I and a guest to be named later when we take to the airwaves at 1190AM here in Orlando, laying waste to the triviascape and frightening Curtis Earth and his team.
In this, our finest hour, we discussed The Pledge of Allegiance, the need for versatility in post-modern America, and G4’s Ninja Warrior and Unbeatable Banzuke.
The full text of what I read at the beginning of the episode, as penned by Matt Groening, is as follows:
I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow,
and to the Republicans, for which they scam
one nacho
underpants
(invisible)
with licorice
and jugs of wine
for owls
God Bless America. Even you bastards that have hijacked it and run it aground with your petty monkey in the middle style politics.
Truly, if we are ever going to succeed as a country, we will need citizens armed with a wealth of knowledge, and the ability to communicate on multiple levels. That is why the SomaCalf Jen and I raise will be well versed in Japanese, Mandarin, Bengali, Russian, German, Spanish, Portuguese, Afrikaans, Pig-Latin, and 3 kinds of sign language. Poor thing will be drowning in flash cards.
I actually did have the idea that we would do food nights as a theme, like, on take-out noodle night, we only speak Mandarin around the table. Mickey and J just laughed at me, and winked knowingly. I think they are plotting something.
Mickey gave us some Life Coaching at the :40 which is always nice, and centered this week on being patient, moving forward, and a really cool idea involving dry erase markers and mirrors. Get up on it!
We closed out the show with a brief discussion of my new obsession, namely, Ninja Warrior and any other show featuring incredibly gifted Asian folks leaping over stuffs. It is amazing to see the difference in culture, as these various fishmongers, ballet dancers, and various government clerks somehow transform into supreme badasses, pushing their bodies beyond endurance without, from a precursory inspection, the benefit of steroids. I find our own American Gladiators pales in comparison, and beseech the makers of said show to step up the game considerably before subjecting us to additional airings.
I cannot stand the Fraggles. I will warn you one time. If you call about the Fraggles, I will hang up on you. If you email about the Fraggles, I will delete you. If you babble in our chat room about the Fraggles, I will ban you. If you sit on the show with me and mention ANYTHING to do with the Fraggles, I will force you to eat vienna sausages. This ends now.
You know who ISN’T pale, gelatinous, and comprised of unknowable meats? These great bands, which we featured in this hour of the show:
- Gran Ronde – Say Say Say
- The Doilies – Lake Wasood
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