SomaCow

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by The Olde Cup and Saucer. It’s the best damn gypsy business in town, and Jen and I absolutely love it.

In this episode, we discussed my newfound love for tea, in all its forms, from the new Pure Leaf stuff being pimped by Lipton to this special magic brew oolong bomb secret spicy tea I am drinking. I only ask 2 things from my tea – be cold, and not taste like rotting fruit. There is NOTHING worse than tea that has sat in a cistern at a fast food restaurant for too long, and now every sip makes you wonder if it was brewed from the grout cleanings at the local YMCA shower. Except maybe Nestea. Holy crap, there must be acid in that stuff, like, scour your pooldeck acid, cause it will give you the burning coughy all day long.

We tried out a new segment, where I quiz my fellow hosts in an effort to determine who is paying attention. I think it was fun, Mickey and J looked silly, and the listeners enoyed playing along, so I think I will make it a Staple each week. Play along in the chatroom, and prove to everyone else that you are the smart!
We talked about a terrible story from Hawaii, where bureaucracy has caused one family the ultimate in suffering. For shame, faceless governmental agency sprouting needlessly from our senseless fear… For SHAME.

We also talk about my MAN! He may not be as lefty as Kucinich, or as outsidery as Ron Paul, but I feel like it is time. It’s time, for

I cannot wait! A vote for Obama is a vote against old people!

I choked down so much meat this week, that my olfactory isn’t making enough ol’ offal for me to get through Henry Rollins, so I cheated and pre-reviewed Mr. Black’s book. I am ashamed, you are nonplussed, Amazon is waiting for your credit card number.

We all agree that the writer’s strike, while lengthy, was unnecessary. After watching recent episodes of all the major evening shows, it is apparent that the writers were not what made the shows so good.

Mickey rarely suggests links, so you should take notice of these:

Funny or Die

You Suck At Photoshop

Andy Mila… Millakno…. Milinoc…. That Fat Greek Kid is NOT The Man Show Boy. I am serious, look it up.

Mickey also regaled us with a film that we must go see, if only to look for traces of Chrispy.

Please feel free to send us your independent music, movie scripts, finger paintings, pictures of bewbs, and other assorted creative stuffs, and we will happily display it in a place of prominence, here, on the internet’s refrigerator door of justice. moo@somacow.com!

Music:

• The Saints – Je Fuckin’ T’aime

• Bad Astronaut – Auto Care

Hey, about that Free iPod! Make sure you check the top o’ the page for the linkity link!

Tags: alternative, andy, astronaut, atkins, bad, barack, black, boobs, chat, comedy, constipation, cup, die, diet, free, funny, futi, hawaii, henry, independant, independent, internet, ipod, kucinich, leaf, lewis, man, michael, milonakis, movie, music, obama, olde, orlando, paul, photoshop, pittsburgh, Podcast, pure, quiz, radio, rollins, ron, saints, samoa, saucer, scripts, show, shower, suck, tea, ustream, ymca

SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you this week by Mickey, the hardest working man in show business. Contact Mickey@somacow.com for all your technical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

In this hour we talk about the death of an American Hero. Almost as influential as Martin Luther King Jr. Nearly as inspiring as Neil Armstrong. More patriotic than Uncle Sam cooking up an apple pie flavored hot dog at a tailgating party for the Patriots… I am talking about Richard Knerr, co-founder of Wham-O. Millions of Americans have been hurting themselves in their respective backyards with these fine products for half a century, and SomaCow is happy to salute the man that made molded plastics available to all our children. If you have kids, bore them today with stories of how children once went “outside” to “play” with “friends”. They will probably call you a n00b and homerow your ass, but that is parenting, so, enjoy it.

We enjoyed the company of my good friend Cassie, who is currently embroiled in a weight loss challenge against me. The first one to lose 1/3 of their total initial body weight wins a car, or money, or a Sabrett’s, or something, and she is beating me, hands down. She has a secret weapon, which she describes in gory detail in this episode. Tune in and learn about a new medical method of teaching tubbies to temper their tummies.

That’s alliteration, yo.

We discussed teaching, and kids, and school, and the significant dearth of African Americans in my life. If you are a black man, and you want a fat white friend, drop me a line geoff@somacow.com – I seriously do not want to die a racist.

Mickey brought to our attention a possible solution to the health care issue in this Great Nation. It seems that poor people have too much health care, and that needs to be stopped immediately. By getting back monies that we squander on immunizations, sutures, and grief counseling for the poor, we can afford more money to be funneled into naming bridges and streets after Ronald Reagan.

J is voting for Ron Paul, and I just don’t know what to make of that. Doesn’t Ron Paul believe in aliens or something? Anyway, we drummed up support for the following great bands in this episode:

SOJH – University of Shitface
The Dollyrots – Watch Me Go
Dirty Wormz – Top of the Food Chain
Three Bad Jacks – Ace of Spades

Check ‘em out, sessy.

Tags: african, alternative, american, black, care, cass, cassandra, cassie, dirty, dollyrots, fat, friend, frisbee, health, high, homerow, hoop, hula, independant, independent, internet, junior, knerr, loss, n00b, noob, orlando, outside, outta, paul, play, Podcast, racist, radio, reagan, richard, ron, ronald, sabretts, somacow, straight, us, usa, weight, wham-o, white, wormz, yo