I am Geoff, and I am answering the question, “Do You Want To Die”, every day.
A friend of mine had a daughter who wanted a turtle. She got the turtle, and the parents got a new job, cleaning up the turtle’s environment. If you have ever had the pleasure of being gifted a red eared slider, you know that turtles do two things – poop, and stuff.
And they really don’t do all that much stuff.
All that turtle number two makes a certain… smell. Most reptiles are stank; the smell of omni-or carnivore offal is pretty awful, I must say. If you do not want to be overcome with stank, you need to clean often, and provide plenty of fresh, clean water.
Now consider that a turtle needs about 10 gallons of water for every inch of shell, or carapace, length. So a little 2 inch turtle needs about 20 gallons of water to swim in. Except you can’t really fill a fishtank full of water, or else the turtle will crawl right out. So you need a 40 gallon tank filled halfway.
Until the turtle grows another inch. And then you need to buy a new tank. Neat, huh?
Except the average red eared slider grows to about 12-13 inches. So figure on needing a 120 gallon water load, hopefully in a 200-300 gallon tank.
And even if you buy a great filter, and perform water changes religiously, they can still stink quite a bit.
Oh, and they carry Salmonella, so you need to sanitize after handling them, their cages, and maybe their food.
Oh, and they need UV light, so get them a good sun lamp, preferably one that heats their basking zone to 90 degrees Fahrenheit.
Oh, and they need nighttime UV and heat, too, so they do not catch chill.
Oh, and they need some substrate, so get some rocks, but not too small, or they will choke on it. Static tongue, you see.
Oh and they need a wet-dry filtering system, because in-tank filters cannot handle the load, and side tank bio-wheels cannot operate with the half-filled aquarium tank.
Oh, and they should probably see the vet, at least once a year for a check up.
Oh, and if you can, feed them in a separate tank, to minimize waste issues in their primary tank.
Oh, and they really could use some sun, so consider taking them outside once in a while. Make sure you sanitize after that, too.
Oh, and watch out for egrets while you are out there.
Oh, and the water needs to be about 75-85, with cooler spots and warmer spots, so they can self-regulate.
I knew all this taking on the responsibility, but because the idea of keeping a turtle is worth the trouble to me, I was willing to do so.
I was not willing to have diabetes. Someone else picked it out for me. Someone else raised it on cigarettes and large iced coffees loaded with sugar and baconators and martinis with cheese stuffed olives and cases and cases of Dr. Pepper. Someone else chose to lock it inside of a small cage, out of the sunlight, and overfeed it and not take it to the doctor and allow it to get out of control.
But a good person seems to have come along, and is willing to take on the responsibility of maintaining the requirements of the disease. He knows that it is a royal pain in the ass, but he seems to be capable, he doesn’t complain (much) about the extra work, and he will hopefully keep showing up for the job. He seems to think keeping me alive is worth the trouble. Even with all the pooping.
Doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Hoping for good news, and looking forward to showing him my glucose blood sheets. See if I get an A!
Tags: diabetes, eared, go, in, ocean, pet, poop, red, slider, the, turtle, yom
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