SomaCow » peter pan http://somacow.com The Greatest Internet Radio Talk Show, Ever. Fri, 17 Dec 2010 05:49:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 ©SomaCow somacow@gmail.com (SomaCow) somacow@gmail.com(SomaCow) Comedy 1440 comedy, humor, fat, food, eat, men, talk, orlando The Greatest Internet Radio Talk Show, Ever. The Greatest Internet Radio Talk Show, Ever. SomaCow SomaCow somacow@gmail.com No yes http://somacow.com/images/somacow-2009.jpg SomaCow http://somacow.com 144 144 SomaCow 140: IKEAd, IKEAd! http://somacow.com/somacow-140-ikead-ikead http://somacow.com/somacow-140-ikead-ikead#comments Wed, 12 Mar 2008 07:08:21 +0000 Geoff http://somacow.com/?p=593 SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, strangely not brought to you in this hour by IKEA. It’s a known fact that skynet is a pansy, when compared to the SKU tracking system that must be in place at IKEA.

ikea.jpg

Okay, this whole episode hinges on how freaking big that store is. It’s big. It’s just retarded big (we’ll get into that next time.) When God said, “Let There Be Light” he had to ask IKEA to move. The Vehicle Assembly Building at NASA Headquarters suffers from structural envy when it gazes across at the IKEA store. Bags of Holding do not actually port to another dimension… They port to the cafeteria at IKEA. When Omega Supreme picked up Megatron and slammed him into the moon, he actually slammed him into an IKEA. The Borg actually drove around in a giant gray IKEA. Fun Fact: No one has ever seen an entire side of IKEA in one glance.

somikea.jpg

So, yeah. It’s a store. I went there. I talked about it. You should go see it, once. Bring food, not just for yourself, but for the thousands of dispirited vagabonds you will be tripping over that were not smart enough to bring their own provisions.

We also discussed the assembly of my daughter’s crib.

crib.JPG

I am sure every little girl wants blood red walls, yellow shag carpeting, and a banker’s lamp! Seriously… I need parenting help. Mickey and J are no help, because they hate me. What do you do with a girl? Does she fish? Color? Should I just get her a Wii now?

Normally, I would spend some time here making light of our dear J, as he again committed social suicide this week by catering an imaginary wedding with fake meats for unmet clients in neverwhere. The dude does not have Peter Pan syndrome… He has Lo Pan syndrome. His soul swims in it. And by it, I mean pasty not-go-outsidedness. Seriously, folks. Friends do not let friends get so involved in an mmorpg that they are selecting imaginary wines to pair with the imaginary third course.

Imagine how sad it would be if he hadn’t gotten paid… I mean, he did get paid… Right? What?
I hate him so.

You know who I do NOT hate? These great bands!

  • And a very special appearance by Jonathan Coulton with his song… Ikea . (You can buy the song for a buck)

And Mickey! Make sure you check out the fastest growing segment in internet introspection, it’s life coaching with Mickey at the :40!

]]> http://somacow.com/somacow-140-ikead-ikead/feed 9 1:00:37 SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, strangely not brought to you in this hour by IKEA. It's a known fact that skynet is ... SomaCow Media, Inc. is proud to present SomaCow, strangely not brought to you in this hour by IKEA. It's a known fact that skynet is a pansy, when compared to the SKU tracking system that must be in place at IKEA. Okay, this whole episode hinges on how freaking big that store is. It's big. It's just retarded big (we'll get into that next time.) When God said, "Let There Be Light" he had to ask IKEA to move. The Vehicle Assembly Building at NASA Headquarters suffers from structural envy when it gazes across at the IKEA store. Bags of Holding do not actually port to another dimension... They port to the cafeteria at IKEA. When Omega Supreme picked up Megatron and slammed him into the moon, he actually slammed him into an IKEA. The Borg actually drove around in a giant gray IKEA. Fun Fact: No one has ever seen an entire side of IKEA in one glance. So, yeah. It's a store. I went there. I talked about it. You should go see it, once. Bring food, not just for yourself, but for the thousands of dispirited vagabonds you will be tripping over that were not smart enough to bring their own provisions. We also discussed the assembly of my daughter's crib. I am sure every little girl wants blood red walls, yellow shag carpeting, and a banker's lamp! Seriously... I need parenting help. Mickey and J are no help, because they hate me. What do you do with a girl? Does she fish? Color? Should I just get her a Wii now? Normally, I would spend some time here making light of our dear J, as he again committed social suicide this week by catering an imaginary wedding with fake meats for unmet clients in neverwhere. The dude does not have Peter Pan syndrome... He has Lo Pan syndrome. His soul swims in it. And by it, I mean pasty not-go-outsidedness. Seriously, folks. Friends do not let friends get so involved in an mmorpg that they are selecting imaginary wines to pair with the imaginary third course. Imagine how sad it would be if he hadn't gotten paid... I mean, he did get paid... Right? What? I hate him so. You know who I do NOT hate? These great bands! Sullivan - Goodbye, Miss Havisham The Flesh - In Paradise And a very special appearance by Jonathan Coulton with his song... Ikea . (You can buy the song for a buck) And Mickey! Make sure you check out the fastest growing segment in internet introspection, it's life coaching with Mickey at the :40! Podcast SomaCow no No