SomaCow

Originally toked at somacow.com

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you by …  uh … wait………….. what?

Even with some alleged short term memory loss, it was pretty easy to remember the first topic from this hour. Elross put it very plainly, in bold, WEED!

Geoff believes that he is now for legalization of marijuana. California is looking into it, as tax revenue. Just think of how much money would be made! I talk to people all the time, of all ages, who say “oh, yeah, we smoke pot”. They are professionals, all ages, all races. Pot smokers are not just college students or drop-outs being lazy and getting high while watching Up In Smoke or Dazed and Confused anymore. It is recognized by many for its medicinal properties and for just relaxation. So why is it still illegal? Mickey thinks it makes you lazy. Maybe the people for the legalization just don’t have the drive to get out there and make changes?

So besides this, the man thing of the week was discussed. Geoff turned the wheel, Mickey forgot to minimize his porn surfing, Ross is thinking, and J snored? I guess that’s manly. Women snore, I know I have and my mom does but I guess we just don’t admit it often? Or maybe the men just don’t complain. Probably the latter.

Mickey’s life coaching centered around the current schools in our system and how worthless they are. Did you get a good education? Was it public? private? How about your kids?

Many men say to look at your girl’s mom and you’ll see your future. But what about guys? Are you like your dad? Do you look like him or act like him? I know that the things I was immediately attracted to in Geoff absolutely resembled my dad.

Are you in the Central Florida area? If so, we’re trying to plan an ice skating meetup/tweetup on June 13th. You can check out the details (or add suggestions) here!

And we are still working out the details on the Cure for the Run on August 22nd. We’re trying to nail down the charity. Have you had experience with charity functions? Maybe you can assist us! We’d love to get your input. You can discuss it with us here. You can donate via paypal to somacow@gmail.com and just put “cure for the run” or some other designation for it!

Tags: cannibas, charity, comedy, Education, ice skating, internet, just push play, legalize, Manly, marijuana, orlando, Podcast, pot, radio, run, school, somacow, talk, tweetup, walk, weed

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you by Jenga (you’ll see why).

In this episode, the guys talk about the apocalypse, the economy, and beer. God I love the range!

So leave it to SomaCow to bring up the doom and gloom again. Maybe they just want us all to really be prepared when the apocalypse comes but has anyone done anything and can you really be prepared? Geoff has a flamethrower, that’s good I guess.

The guys discuss the economic bailout and its failure. I have to ask here…how can something fail when it’s just been implemented? Don’t we need to see if it works first? Well, they all have their own ideas on how to fix the economy, from Mexicans buying homes to Indians building roads to legalization and taxing of certain forbiddens to chastity belts. Hey, you never know. Ross just thinks the government should hand out money to Americans.

From here the topic went straight to stoner chat, wonder why… ha! Just kidding Ross. It actually went there from the legalization topic but see how I juxtoposed that sentence there? Anyway.

Jen Cook, one of our favorite new listeners, held a “40 party” once where everyone had to bring a 40 and exchange it blindly and drink it? I’m going to have to hear more about this from her during the next episode’s live recording.

Mickey and J have a knock down drag out fight, well, a verbal discussion, on who is a better concert dad. I’d love to see the two of them fight it out over the better concert dad wouldn’t you? And have you been to a concert lately? Geoff and I went all the time until Rowan was born (even 8 months pregnant!). I was a total concert whore back in the day-even have a whole suitcase full of concert t-shirts I have no clue what to do with. But it’s so expensive lately! It’s driving people to listen to go to smaller shows like those of bands we play on ComaSow. Visit us there or live every Wednesday from 8 PM until ? depending on our mood. (Hey, I’m writing it, I get to spam).

Tags: 40, apocalypse, beer, chastity belts, comasow, comedy, concert, economy, indians, internet, jenga, marijuana, mexicans, orlando, Podcast, pot, radio, somacow, talk

SomaCow Media is proud to present… SomaCow!

T’was the night before Christmas, and the whole damned show
Was feeling a bit hostile. Why? I dunno.
It could be the fact that J and Ross just cannot,
Show up in our studio on time, and un-pot.

Ted.

Perhaps the malaise comes from Mickey or I’s
Inability to stop with “We quit Smoking!” lies.
Or it could be that two years ago, when started this crap,
We figured we’d be set: in luxury’s lap.

The anger has flown, from one show to the next,
To the point where JPP and TSB only send texts.
The equipment is breaking, and a mountain of trash,
Has stacked in the studio; Wait, is that hash?

It’s been a tough year for SomaCow Media, Inc.
We’ve seen a few shows flounder, falter, and then sink.
Lord knows we’ll miss the sounds of Syndown
Gay German Ass Poundery, With Super Synth Sound.

And who could forget our Dear Lunar Room?
I can’t understand why that show was doomed.
It consisted of great talk, and music, and whorin’
I really miss the gay, and Eric, and Lauren

I never got over the shock to my system
When one Friday Night, The Aftermath went missin’
It wasn’t that they quit, or were fired, per se.
They just ceased arriving mysteriouslay… eh?

Another great loss, and a bitter end, ’tis true,
Our Sister Show Say Anything, Voice of the Shrew
Came when Jen, Debe, Diana, and that puppet broad Kari
Collectively went all “Aunt Flo” (t’was scary)

Year’s been a real bitch, you betcha, yeppers
We’ve lost more members than a whole camp of lepers
Very little remains of the banner we raised
The cow is near tippin’, her eyes are a-glazed

But what of the past? I’ve never been one
To sit and pine over what’s over and done.
To 2009, and what will cure our sinking ship!
It better be good, and I hope it comes quick.

First off, We’ve brought on board a fiery new host,
Take a moment with us and give him a toast!
Prime Time Geek is the name you’ll need in your browser
The man has chops, mad knowledge, huge Bowsers.

And with a bit of SomaCow polish, grace, grease and spit
We’re grabbing one show back from the podcasting pit
Refire the barbie, and fill his mouth with some corn
We’re bringing Piggy back, ComaSow is reborn.

“Now, Geoff,” you might say, as you listen these words
“I think you might have swapped brains with a bird…
Whyever, dear man, would you keep up this charade?
I mean, seriously… When is the last time ANYONE was paid?”

I could tell you some shit, about how we do it for more
Than any of your precious shiny “dollars” afford.
How we’re fighting big media, giving ideas a voice
How we’re providing an independent and damned fine new choice.

But the reality is, as I stand with you here
I am not sure if all of us will be back next year.
Some may go on, to pastures much greener.
Some may get thrown out, if they don’t learn to operate the fucking board. I

am looking directly at you, Brian, you piece of utter shit. Do your fucking

job, stop eating on my fucking board, quit breaking shit, and stop yelling

into the fucking mic. You worthless, smarmy bastard. I wish your dad had shot

you into the carpet.

Anywhere, where was I? Oh yes, Merry Christmas.
How in the hell could I ever have missed this?
What I want to be clear, why we do what we do -
We do what we do here for… well… you.

It sure ain’t the pay, SomaCow bleeds red out her ears
Wonder if we can claim listeners as dependents this year?
But there is something I earn, each time I crack the mic
The ever growing response, what you hate, what you like.

I hear from a bonzer guy, in Australia, no doubt -
And he thinks it’s wicked, what we’re putting out.
I hear from a sweet lady, avoiding retirement
And she’s knitting my baby new attirements

We receive your emails, your phone calls, your letters
We sit in stark awe at the discussion, unfettered.
“You suck, and we love it.” “You’re right on point”
“Hey Ross, it’s your mother, can I get a joint?”

Maybe this year, we’ll land a few paying spots to air,
Lord knows, the economy is robust and prepared!
But as long as there’s will, and scratchies, and brew
And listeners like Chrispy, and Iceman, and you

I can promise you that, come success or obscurity
We’ll continue, we’ll develop, we’ll work, and we’ll see.
Perhaps one day, instead of scrabbling uphills
We might break even after paying our bills.

Until that day comes, just know we are pumped.
To have you download us, and in ear be dumped.
From unsnowing Florida, we say with eyes mistenin’
“Merry Christmas, The Heard, and thank you for listenin!”

Oh, and also. Bowlful of Jelly. Just sayin’.

Tags: Australia, board, chrispy, christmas, comasow, comedy, florida, Friday Night, health, internet, jpp, just push play, Merry Christmas, orlando, Podcast, pot, prime time geek, quit, radio, say anything, smoking, Smoking cessation, somacow, syndown, talk, the aftermath, the heard, the lunar room, the sports buzz