SomaCow

 

 254: It's Beginning To Look... [56:58m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Moose.

Geoff had such a crush on her. I did love YCDTOT. You know what else I loved? Electric Company and it’s coming back later this month! Yep, PBS is having a new Electric Company. I wonder if they’ll have a new bloodhound gang. I am not sure why, but sometimes those mysteries scared me…oh wait, that was 3-2-1 Contact. Oh well, I love The Electric Company, too.

Where in the hell did that all come from? Oh yeah, because Geoff loved Moose.

So also in this hour, the guys talked more about family, cutting back on smoking, and scuba diving. Wow, my notes look like Ross’s this week. So you’ll have to just listen to the episode to see what in the hell I was talking about! I’m going to go watch some Hoose

And by the way… does anyone know any single hot chicks?

Links and regalia:

• 1970s Timewarp: Morgan Freeman and Rita Moreno on The Electric Company
• They’re Doing WHAT To The Electric Company?
• Scuba Diving Kitty Explained by HowStuffWorks

 

 244: Bloodhound, Barack, and Boobs [57:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by BloodHoundGang.Com – They’re bonzer, and we’re thrilled to be able to bring you a taste of their music here on the ‘Cow -

So, in this hour, we recapped a bit of the election (we promise not to bore – lord knows there was enough coverage, discussion, and politicking already). We’re happy to be done with it, and moving on to our favorite topics, food, the bathroom, and chicks.

I would like to take one moment to laugh at women. HA!

You guys are just… well… girls. And dumb. And sad. Consider for a moment -
You got the right to vote LONG before black folks did.

You represent 50+ percent of the population, whereas blacks float in the low teen percents.

You have poon, and all the power it entails. You can enchant, ensnare, and entrap men simply by doing… well… by simply lying (laying?  Lie’in, lion) there.

I think the first women President is going to be an accidental president, and you guy (gals) even missed the boat on that one.  This was your last best chance to have a chick slide into the Oval Office, AND NOT BE ON HER KNEES.

Janet vs Janet

Janet vs Janet

You dames could have gone the Hillary route, but Hillary is more Janet Reno than Janet… … … uhm.  Are there any attractive Janets?  Well… yes … of course Janet Jackson, but I thought that would have been utterly confusing with Ms. Jackson being related to an half white pop star.

You now how four years to come to terms with the fact that you chicks hit your buzzer a little too soon, and then let the timer run out, and you have to accept the snarky belittling look from Mr. Trebeck.

I want you to sit there and think about what you did wrong.  Maybe next time you will stop being so catty, and be happy that another person without a swinging meat tube is succeeding in the world.  Maybe next time you will not withhold your vote because SHE has on the wrong shoes.  Maybe next time you will feel a bit of solidarity with HER despite her hair being in her eyes and annoying you.  Maybe the next time the guys allow a skirt to play in the big leagues, you will grab the opportunity and stop being so bitchy to your fellow woman.

Stuff to click on while you listen to the show:

• Janet Jackson’s Ticket Sales…Weren’t That Bad?
• Janet Jackson’s Boob Ruled Not Indecent
• Sarah Who?
• Hitch on Palin
• Obama And The Press
• Flat Screen TVs, Waterbeds … for Cows?
• The Long Republican War on Voting Rights

 

 SomaCow 231: Post A Pock A Lips [56:46m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

SomaCow Media is proud to present SomaCow, brought to you in this hour by Shoot Straight Gun and Knife and Pawn and Tast-E-Freeze. They need your business, because these cannot come off a single bullet to test fire, nor repair a gun, apparently. I hate when small local business act all small and locally.

In this hour, we discussed Mickey’s new developed fondness for Shooting, the happiness unearmarked Ribs can bring to one’s life, and what we all do to survive in the post-apocalyptic world, now that the S*&# is headed right straight at the fan.

Do the Diet Dew

Mickey will most assuredly immediately head to the airfields, securing a plane exactly capable of lifting his massive stocks of Diet Mountain Dew into the air. Irritated by his common man, his will be the easiest of adjustments, and he will often laugh as people ignore his sage words, only to be scooped up by highwaymen and sold into butt slavery. Strangely, even in the dark future, the first thing criminals do is touch the butt. Weird, isn’t it?

J will shutter his 327 bedroom-half bath manse, electing to ignore the comings and serious goings of modern day society. Hours into his ordeal, as his supply of delicious roasted beefs, succulent brats, and enormous larders of pork loin dwindle, he will be forced to eat Yip and Skim, his favorite and only dachshunds. Minutes later, his family will follow. Rumors will spread far and wide throughout the lands of Sand Fort of a remarkably affable cannibal, luring victims to his dinner table with the promise of perfectly chilled shiraz and a fine double barreled stogie.

I will be pissed. Jen will probably have to learn to till soil, fight mutants, create electricity, divine water, train delivery people, block radiation, emit sunlight, and a host of other tasks in an effort to keep me pleased. Perhaps the scarcity of food will give me pause, and I will not consume her food as well as my own. Stranger things have happened.

Ross will toke something, and call in to a radio show to describe the damage he’s seeing. He’ll probably end up winning a bomb shelter for calling.

We watched it all come apart to the following great bands:

• The Manifest Content – News at Noon
• The Fadeout – Greatest Time to Be

And make sure you check out Randy LaLonde’s excellent books at Spinward Fringe – We review the first in that series in this episode. What it lacks in length it makes up for in brilliant character development, wit and wry humor, and damned compelling moral consideration. Get it, slave!

Some Randomly Generated Links

• Nerdcore Rising Documentary Gets PAX Screening [Penny Arcade Expo 2008]
• DIY: Make Mountain Dew Glow in the Dark Like a Lightning Bug
• Bottle Art Won’t Make You Cooler. But If You’re Already on a Modding-Spree, It Can’t Hurt.
• Cock Fight from Skin Deep starring John Ritter