SomaCow

It saddens me with glee to have to report that we will no longer be in need of the services of our replacement producer, Ross.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Ross is a great guy, who does a fine production job. I only have two problems with him:

1. When we come back inside from breaks, he opens the sliding door and walks in. If I am behind him, I then have to open the sliding door MORE in order for ME to be able to walk in, which calls attention to my larger size. I don’t need that kind of stress in my life.

2. He gets paid more than any of the “talent”.

So, I’m suggesting that we cut costs by replacing Ross with:The SomaTron XXL-69 Remote Show Control

It may not bake yummy pastries or give back rubs, but I think it is the next best thing.

Hmmm…come to think of it…we wouldn’t really need show hosts anymore, either.

Well, then…

Welcome back, Ross!