SomaCow

Originally impacted at SomaCow.com

Discussing:

Smokey The Bear

Caller With Impacted Coffee Cup

At the Car Wash

prankerz

Man Moment

Scotch

Never Don’t Slash Forum- Board News + Tom Green Twitter Block + NASA Tweetup

Tags: bear, car wash, comedy, internet, nasa, orlando, Podcast, pranks, radio, scotch, smokey, smoky, somacow, talk, tom green, tweetup, twitter

WARNING: The scene below contains graphic depictions of socio-economic satire. Readers whose net earnings were below seven figures last year may wish to go here instead. Reader discretion is advised.

The Blue Collar Comedy Tour and Blue Collar TV show have proven extremely popular with the American public. We hard-working, lower middle-class Americans love to watch rich entertainers pretending to be awkward southern bumpkins.

But what about the elitist? The upper class? The financially driven, clueless executive types?
What would THEY pay money to see?

Well…

The following is a very good reason why there is no such thing as a White Collar Comedy tour.

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Scene 4 – Interior

(A crowded auditorium with three rich, corinthian leather executive office chairs on stage.)

(Geoff, Mickey and J enter stage right and recline in plush luxuriance to thunderous applause.)

Geoff: Thank you, thank you. Here at the end of the show we like to come out together and just tell some stories of our many adventures, all of which end with “and then J finished off the rest of my plate.”

(laughter from audience)

J: (lighting expensive cigar) Ha! Damn you, Geoff, I should reveal to the general public your offshore diversified investment account information!

(laughter from audience)

Mickey: (looking down at his ascot, with which he is having trouble) Is it supposed to go like THIS or like THIS?

Geoff: Oh, Mickey, always with the bourgeois profiling.

Mickey: I might as well have bought off the rack!

(laughter from audience)

J: Oh, Geoffrey, we should tell the story of our greatest success.

Mickey: Yes, quite.

Geoff: Well, a few years ago we decided to increase our capital gains subsidy in order to bolster our portfolio, when it dawned on us, I think it was Mickey’s brilliant idea, that we could lease the studio equipment back to each show, and let them finance it through the network, thereby netting the fiscal depreciation, the expenditure AND the gross yield for tax reduction!

(laughter from audience)

Mickey: It WAS one of my better hairbrained schemes.

Geoff: What about our tragic boating mishap?

J: Ah, yes. We had taken the SomaCow II yacht out for the day in the Caribbean. Imagine our shock when we, and the two dozen topless coeds tanning on board, discovered that the entire ship had been stocked with DOMESTIC scotch!

(laughter from audience)

Geoff: That, sir, is an oxymoron.

(laughter from audience)

Mickey: Ah, but this makes it all worth it. Thank you for joining us tonight. We have to go now and fire six members of middle management, then replace them with eighteen more-expensive “offshore” consultants, just because we can.

(laughter from audience)

(Roll credits)

Tags: ascot, blue collar comedy, boobies, bourgeois, consultant, corinthian, fart, fiscal, offshore, oxymoron, poop, scotch, topless, white collar, yacht